


The Love We Deserve

by DAgron01



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, AvaLance, Coming Out, F/F, Fluff, Handsome Sam gets her girl, Lena is always amazing and needs hugs and lap dances from hot girls, Lucy is awesome and back from the desert, Polyamory, Romantic Comedy, Sam/Alex - Freeform, The Poly story inspired by Love Simon that we all deserve, Winn/Clark, ace!kara, no powers, polyamory is for everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-04-30 21:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 61,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14505921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DAgron01/pseuds/DAgron01
Summary: Kara had to witness her best friend, Winn, and her cousin's epic love story in high school and worried that she would never have her own love story. But when she finds herself with a secret admirer and falling for two amazing girls, she starts to realize that she may have found her happily ever after as long as she is brave enough to come to terms with who she is and what it all means.Meanwhile, Lena thinks she is unworthy of love but somehow gets herself two girlfriends. Because everyone deserves a love story. Especially Lena Luthor.





	1. Chapter 1

Kara nervously walked down the hallway toward what would be her room, her home, for the next nine months. There were times she felt like she barely survived her senior year of high school and then there were moments like today, when graduation seemed like another lifetime ago. She made it, to this place, this moment. This was it. Maybe this could be a new beginning. Maybe this was her year. Or maybe, she would be just another girl trying to make it through her freshman year of college.

The closed door of room 303 brought her from her thoughts and she allowed herself a heavy sigh in preparation. When she reached to turn the handle the door was locked, she frowned and attempted to fumble for her keys but nearly dropped the box she carried in the process. Instead of dropping everything in an attempt to open the door herself, she decided to try her luck and see if her roommate was inside.

After she kicked the door loudly with her foot, she readied herself for what might come. Nothing happened.

“Hello?” She spoke to the closed door. “Anyone there?”

For good measure, she kicked the door again. She barely had time to react when her door was thrust open and a flustered looking brunette girl stood in front of her. The girl was strikingly beautiful. No doubt the prettiest girl Kara had ever seen. She was shorter than Kara, and had the most piercing blue eyes she had ever seen with hints of jade. Or was it the other way around? Her skin was pale but flawless, and her lips were stained bright red. And her jawline could practically cut glass. Not that she was really paying attention or anything. She knew she should probably blink now.

Kara opened and closed her mouth a few times as she tried to form a proper greeting for what she presumed was her new roommate. A lone eyebrow raised in question as the girl seemed to study her.

“Yes?”

The word was drawn out as if questioning not only Kara’s presence but her very existence. The thought snapped her into action.

“Sorry…” She extended the box in her hand toward the girl slightly. “My hands were a bit full and I had trouble getting to my key.”

“Your key?”

The girl seemed altogether confused.

“Yes.” Kara set the box down on the ground and extended her hand toward the woman in front of her. “I’m Kara. Kara Danvers. Your roommate.”

The other girl eyed her hand curiously before looking Kara in the eyes. “My roommate?”

“Please tell me you don’t plan on repeating everything I say, like...you do know other words right?”

Kara wasn’t sure her sarcasm would be well received, but when she saw a slight smirk and roll of the eyes, she knew it had been the right choice. She kept her hand extended and waved it a little to redraw the girl’s attention to it. Kara smiled proudly when a hand slid into hers and shook hers firmly as if closing on some business deal.

“Lena.” The girl responded as she dropped her hand and made eye contact with Kara. Then she added, “Luthor” as if an afterthought.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lena.”

The smirk was back but her eyes never left Kara’s. “I’m sure.”

Kara bent down and picked up her box then brushed by Lena, which earned another raised eyebrow.

“Wait, you’re really my roommate?”

After Kara deposited the box on the only empty bed in the room, she turned back around to face Lena. “Why would I lie about that?”

Lena shrugged. “I thought it was a prank or something. I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop really.”

“Wow. Okay, that is something I think we should address in the future. But I really am your roommate and I have to go and grab the rest of my stuff.” She paused. “You wouldn’t mind helping me would you? Winn, Clark and Alex are moving their own stuff in...anyway, I’ll pay you!”

That actually earned her a laugh. Which now that she thought about it, was not the desired reaction.

“You don’t have to laugh at me. You could have just said ‘No.’”

Lena’s eyes widened and she shook her head quickly. “I wasn’t...I thought you were joking. It was actually funny, under the circumstances.”

“Okay?”

Lena eyed her carefully before she shook her head. “I can’t figure you out.”

“I’m not really that interesting. Probably the most mediocre person you’ll meet here. And I’m an open book, so if there’s anything you want to know just ask.”

Lena was silent for another moment or two, before she smiled. “Come on, let’s go get your stuff.”

Kara’s entire face lit up at the announcement. She really had dreaded carrying everything up to the room herself.

 

SSSSSSS

 

It turned out she needn’t have worried after all. She and Lena met James on their trip to Kara’s car. And James was friends with Lucy and Ava. So the three of them helped carry boxes as well and they were done in no time. Except for unpacking. But Kara knew that was her job alone.

“Thanks for your help guys. I can order us some pizza as a thank you.” Kara stated as she fell on her bed with exhaustion.

“I would love some, but I still have unpack my own stuff.” Ava replied with regret.

“Yeah, raincheck?” James asked.

Lucy smacked James on the head. “You don’t owe us anything for helping you, Kara. But it would be nice to just hang out. When we’re all settled and stuff.”

“Yes, what Lucy said. How about Friday?” Ava offered.

Kara turned to Lena and smiled. “Does pizza on Friday work for you, roomie?”

Lena’s eyes widened briefly before she schooled her features. “I’m invited?”

Kara couldn’t help laughing at that. “This is your room, too. And besides, you helped just as much as they did, you deserve the same reward.”

Kara watched as Lena’s eyes found each of the others. It seemed as if she waited on confirmation from each of them as well.

This time it was Lucy who rolled her eyes as she spoke. “You in, Luthor? What do you say?”

Kara made a mental note to ask Lena if she and Lucy already knew each other since Lucy already knew her last name.

“I guess I’m in.”

“Great! Now that that’s settled, I’m out of here. Wish me luck, I think I got saddled with the roommate from hell.” Lucy said as she made her way toward the door. “But if Leslie really thinks she can intimidate me, she doesn’t know what it’s like having a Five Star General for a father.”

She left with gusto and the room seemed emptier without her in it. James shifted awkwardly before he left with barely a goodbye. Ava looked from Kara to Lena.

“I think this is going to be an interesting year.” She bit her lip and furrowed her eyebrows. “In a good way. I didn’t mean...I just, I’m glad I met you today, Kara.” She paused and let her eyes fall on Lena. “And you, too, Lena.”

“It was great meeting you as well, Ava. If I don’t have any classes with you, see you Friday?”

Ava rolled her eyes. “We’re on the same floor and now we’re friends. You will definitely see me before Friday.”

Kara smiled at that and glanced at Lena, who didn’t seem as happy by that proclamation as she was. When she turned back toward Ava, the other girl was already gone. Kara stood up and slipped her hands in her back pockets as rocked on the balls of her feet.

“So, do you and Lucy already know each other?”

“What?”

“Lucy knew your last name, have you met before?”

“You’re serious aren’t you? About not knowing how Lucy would know my name?”

Kara frowned in confusion. She opened her mouth to speak when she heard noise from the open door behind her.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite person.” Winn announced with a smile as he entered the room.

His arms were wide open and she allowed herself to fall into his embrace. She always felt safe with him. Even after everything last year, she knew he was her person. At first she thought maybe it could have been in 'the love of her life' sense; but since he was full on gay, she settled on seeing him as her platonic soulmate. He would always be someone who just got her. And when she saw how happy he was with her cousin, Clark, it was hard to not be happy for them. She just hated feeling like the third wheel a lot of the time, even though she knew most of that was in her mind and that Clark and Winn both really wanted her around.

“Are you going to introduce me to your roommate?” Winn asked as he released his hold on her and smiled at Lena. “Apparently, Kara is horrible at introductions. I’m Winn.”

Lena studied his proffered hand much the way she had with Kara’s earlier. But eventually she shook it.

“Lena.”

“Lena is already the best roommate. She helped me carry my stuff up and wouldn’t let me pay her or order some pizza.”

Winn’s eyebrows rose. “You refused to let Kara get pizza?! Kara loves pizza and not letting her eat any is basically an insult.”

“It’s not that big of deal, Winn.”

“Ha!” Winn walked toward Lena then whispered to her conspiratorially. “I know all of this girl’s bizarre eating habits. So if you have any questions or concerns, come to me.”

“I’ll be sure to remember that.” Lena replied, although her eyes never left Kara.

“Stop it, Winn. You’ll scare her away.”

“Knock! Knock!” Clark shouted from the doorway. “How’d the unloading go?”

“Easy, I had help.” She smiled at Lena. “How about yours?”

“We have everything in our room, but haven’t started to unpack yet.” He looked at the boxes.

“Looks like I missed the invite to the party.” Alex said as she walked through the door and into the middle of the room, as she quickly swept Kara up in her arms. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to stop by right away. I wanted to share the first day experience with you. I still get to give you the tour, right? It’s my duty as the big sister.”

“Of course. How about we start at the cafeteria. I’m famished.”

“See, I told you. Food.” Winn stage whispered and everyone in the room erupted with laughter, except Kara.

“I resent that.”

Alex peeled herself away from Kara’s arms and her eyes settled on Lena’s. “I’m Alex, the big sister. I assume that you’re the roommate.”

Lena rushed forward with a nod and this time she was the one who extended her hand in greeting. “Yes, Lena. It’s nice to meet you, Alex.”

Alex shook Lena’s hand carefully but seemed to be studying her harshly. Kara actually worried about Lena, because she knew her sister could be intimidating when she wanted to be. She made a mental note to ask Alex to tone it down a bit. She always had trouble making friends and she didn’t need her sister to scare them away before she even got the chance to know them.

“Have we met?” Alex asked as she continued to study the other girl.

“No.” She glanced at Kara, then back to Alex. “I would have remembered.”

Alex nodded at her before she released her hand. “Alright. Let’s get my sister fed. You all coming?”

Clark and Winn nodded excitedly but Lena seemed to be hesitant.

“Come on, Lena. You have to be just as starved as I am.” Kara smiled warmly at her roommate and was happy when Lena relented and nodded her acceptance.

The four of them left the building and walked toward the cafeteria. Alex and Kara happily chatted as Winn and Clark walked hand in hand in front of them. Lena trailed a bit behind the group, but Kara didn’t get a chance to comment on it because her sister was bumping her shoulder into Kara’s.

“You already seem happier. I know the end of last year got kind of...hard for you. For everyone. But you seem okay now.” Alex whispered.

Kara glanced ahead of them to make sure that Clark and Winn weren’t paying attention to their conversation.

“I’m fine. We’re good now. Again. He’s happy. I’ve never seen either of them happier.”

“I was worried about you.” Alex sighed. “I always worry about you.”

“You don’t have to, Alex. It’s not your job to take care of me.” She shook her head to clear her thoughts before annoyance took over. “You can’t protect me from everything. Everyone gets their heart broken.”

Alex wrapped her arm around Kara and pulled her awkwardly into her. They fumbled a bit in their steps but kept walking.

“You’re not everyone though. You’re you. And Kara Danvers happens to be my favorite person.”

“That’s good. Because, Alex Danvers happens to be mine.” She smirked devilishly. “Well, one of mine.”

“Hey!” Alex shoved her away playfully.

Kara faintly heard Lena chuckle behind them and was reminded they weren’t alone. She glanced behind her and smiled at the raven haired girl. “Get of here, Lena. Join us.”

Lena bit her lip slightly and blushed a bit. Kara couldn’t help finding the sight adorable, but she refused to dwell on that thought.

“Yes, Lena, join us.” Alex replied. “Tell me about yourself. What’s your major? Where are you from? Are you an ax-murderer?”

Lena’s face drained of color and Alex glanced at Kara for a reason as to why. Kara shrugged helplessly. It was obvious that Lena Luthor was painfully shy, but Kara didn’t think that could have been the only reason the other girl dreaded talking about herself.

“Alex is only half serious. I don’t think she cares where you came from.” Kara deadpanned.

Alex guffawed at that, which made Lena nearly crack a smile.

“I am double majoring in bio-engineering and physics. With a minor in forensic sciences.”

“Shit.” Alex breathed out.

Kara laughed at her sister’s reaction. “Alex is now trying to decide if she is impressed or intimidated because you are now her competition.”

Alex slapped blindly at her sister before she turned to Lena with the most serious expression on her face. “I am a bio-engineer major with a minor in forensic science. I didn’t have the balls to try a double major, that’s seriously impressive. You may die by the end of the semester, but kudos for trying.”

Lena laughed genuinely at that. “I don’t know what to say. I never did know how to do things halfway.”

“Well, I’ll be rooting for you.” Alex told her honestly.

“Another first.” Lena replied under her breath, but blushed when she noticed Kara heard her.

They walked the rest of the way to the cafeteria in a comfortable silence and went their separate ways to grab food. Kara got through the line first and scanned the nearly full cafeteria. Her eyes landed on a lone brunette who sat on the far end of the cafeteria. She made her way toward the mostly empty table.

“Hi, my name is Kara. And I was hoping my friends and I could join you.”

The girl looked up at Kara and smiled sweetly. “Yes, of course. It’s intimidating not knowing anyone when everyone else seems to have built in cliques already. I thought I left all of that behind in high school. My name is Sam, by the way.”

Kara smiled back and took a seat beside Sam. “I don’t know about you, but even surrounded by friends somehow I feel like I’m alone. That I just can’t seem to quite feel like I belong. Plus, making friends can be hard.”

“For you? I doubt it.”

“What do you mean?”

“You came up to me and made me feel welcome for the first time since I got here. And you have your very own posse already, if the group coming toward us belongs to you.” Sam smiled fondly.

Kara’s eyes followed the direction Sam indicated. “One is my sister, the other my roommate. The tall guy with glasses is my cousin and the shorter one is his boyfriend.”

Sam nodded in understanding, then held up her fork and pointed in another direction. “And who are those? Your other cousins and sisters?”

“Yo, Danvers! Fancy meeting you here.” Lucy drawled out as she approached the table and sat down without invitation.

Kara turned toward Sam who shook her head with a smile. “I don’t think you’re as bad at making friends as you think you are. But thank you for including me among them.”

Kara smiled widely at that and then around the suddenly full table. “Looks like I may need to make a few introductions.” She stood up. “Lucy, Ava, and James...this is my sister Alex. This is my best friend Winn, my cousin Clark. My roommate Lena. And my newest friend, Sam.” Then she glanced at the three faces she didn’t know. “I’m Kara.”

“Sara.” The blonde who spoke, grabbed Kara’s proffered hand and kissed her knuckles gently. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Kara.”

“I’m Iris, I’m Ava’s roommate. And this is my best friend, Barry.”

“I’m also James’s roommate.” Barry said with a smile in greeting.

“You all are lucky making friends with your roommates already. Mine I think wants to kill me. Like actually murder me.”

“I’ll swap you, if you want. I’m not scared of psychopaths.” Sara offered with a smirk. “Or you could share a bed with me.”

Sam’s fork clamored to the table with a loud bang and Kara felt bad for her.

“That’s a really nice offer, Sara.” Sam replied awkwardly. “Both offers. I think I’ll just take my chances with Siobhan.”

“If you really are concerned about your roommate situation, I currently don’t have a roommate. Mine bailed last minute and I had looked forward to having it to myself this year...but I also don’t want your death on my conscious.” Alex spoke from the other side of Kara.

“Are you serious? You’d do that for me?” Sam asked in awe. “Looks like kindness runs in the family.”

Both Kara and Alex blushed at that. But Winn spoke up happily.

“The Danvers sisters are the best people you’ll ever meet. I’ve always counted myself lucky that Kara is my best friend.”

He smiled at her genuinely and Kara was surprised that she didn’t ache when he looked at her like that anymore. She let herself smile at the realization. She had finally and completely gotten over her crush or whatever it was she thought she felt for Winn.

Clark smiled just as happily at Winn as he leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. Sara pointed at them and smirked.

“I knew it.”

“You're being kind of arrogant” Ava mused.

“It’s part of my charm.”

“Charm. That’s not exactly what I’d call it.”

“Do you think that if Sam moves out, we could convince my roommate to move into the vacant spot?” Lucy asked as she tore apart pieces of her brownie.

“What happened to not being intimidated because you’re the daughter of a Five Star General?” Lena asked with bite.

“Ooh. Little Luthor has bite.” Sara cackled.

Lucy playfully flipped them both off which set laughter afire across the rest of the table. Alex leaned close to Kara and whispered in her ear. “You did good, little sis. I approve of them all.”

Kara smiled widely. “Me too.”

She glanced around the table proudly, finally feeling like she really did belong here, amongst this group. She found her people. Her eyes settled on Lena who was already looking at her. She smiled softly at her and Lena returned the smile before she quickly looked away.

They all talked and laughed and got to know each other for while before they realized it was getting late and they parted ways. Soon it was just Kara, Alex, Lena, Winn and Clark again.

“We’re going to head back.” Winn said as he hugged each of the girls, then Clark did the same.

Kara watched as they walked off and smiled as their linked hands swung between them.

“They are a really cute couple.” Lena commented.

“Yeah, well, let Kara tell you the story about all that someday.” Alex replied before she shot a worried glance at Kara.

“I’m going to head back to our room, are you coming or do you still have the rest of the tour to finish up.”

Alex laughed. “Kara visited me several times last year. She knows this place almost as well as I do.” She suddenly appeared nervous, almost shy. “I just wanted to catch up, spend some time together.”

Kara stared at her sister adoringly. Sometimes she felt so close with Alex and other times she felt like there was so much distance between them. Last year just complicated things even more and it was part of the reason she chose National City University. To repair whatever had broken between them. To be close to her sister and close to home. Sure, some of last year sucked, but she knew she wanted to be close to the people who mattered to her.

“I’ll be back later, Lena. I’m gonna make Alex buy me my favorite frozen yogurt.”

“It was nice to meet you, Alex. And thanks to both of you for forcing me out tonight, I had a good time.”

“Forcing? That sounds so violent and not at all like Kara.” Alex smirked. “But it was nice

meeting you as well, Lena.”

After Lena excused herself, Kara turned toward Alex. “I’m sorry I was so miserable the last few times I visited you last year.”

“Kara, honey. Seeing you tonight...that group of people...I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen you so genuinely happy. And that’s all I ever wanted for you. You’ve been through so much, Kara. You deserve to be happy.”

Kara couldn’t help it, she didn’t even try to stop the tears as they fell. Alex reached over and padded at the tear tracks with her thumbs.

“Thanks, Alex.”

 

SSSSSSS

 

Kara had fun with Alex as they shared their dessert and told old childhood stories. Eventually, she made it back to her dorm room. She made sure to grab a dish of her favorite frozen yogurt to surprise Lena.

When she walked into the room, the other girl was draped across her bed with her laptop and a thick textbook.

“Getting a head start on studying already?” Kara smiled. “Do you have time for a special dessert break? Before it melts.”

Lena’s entire face lit up. “You brought me something?” She rearranged herself on her bed so that she was sitting cross legged and then reached toward Lena and wiggled her fingers. “Gimme Gimme.”

Kara laughed. “Wow. You’re kind of demanding.”

She handed the treat to her friend and Lena wasted no time as she spooned a bite in her mouth.

“This is amazing, Kara, thank you.”

“It’s my favorite. Triple Chocolate Fudge.”

“Glad I’m not the only one with a sweet tooth.” Lena smirked around another spoonful.

Kara blinked owlishly before she cleared her throat and walked toward her side of the room and all the boxes that still resided there.

“Guess I should have done some unpacking before I went out and let time get away from me.”

“I could help if you want.” Lena offered.

“Thank you, but I already demanded enough of you today.”

She opened a random box and looked inside.

“Hey, Kara?”

“Hmmm?”

“Do you really not know who I am?”

Kara furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and turned to face her friend. “You’re Lena Luthor. My roommate and my friend.” She sighed. “But I’m guessing I'm missing something kind of big, huh?”

Lena took a deep breath and rested her hands in her lap, cup of yogurt in hand. She exhaled slowly and her faced seemed to morph into that of determination.

“This afternoon, when you knocked on my door…”

“And you thought it was a prank.”

Lena nodded. “I had already had four potential roommates request room changes when they found out that I was their roommate. I was surprised that you hadn’t requested a change, but a bigger part of me assumed that maybe you had a reason not to. Like my mom bribed you. Or you were hoping to sell the story of being roommates with Lena Luthor to some tabloid. But then you seemed genuinely nice. And you even invited me to join you for dinner. You didn’t immediately disassociate with me; the ultimate pariah. And just now, you called me your friend.”

“You are my friend, Lena. Why would you be a pariah? I don’t understand.”

Lena bit her lip. “Either you live under a rock, Kara Danvers, or you are the best goddamn liar I’ve ever met. Because why else would you want to be friends with a Luthor?”

Kara still didn’t understand. She knew she was missing something big but for the life of her, she didn’t know what it was.

Lena set her dish on the bed and grabbed her laptop. She spoke as she typed. “But even Winn and Clark and Alex didn’t seem to know. I mean, Alex mentioned that she recognized me vaguely, but she didn’t know. I don’t understand how it is that you don’t have a clue, and as refreshing and amazing as today has been to just be me...I feel like I owe you the truth.”

She raised her computer up and toward Kara who closed the distance between them and took it. She gestured at the bed.

“May I?”

Lena nodded so she took a seat next to her and scanned the articles that Lena had pulled up on the screen. She read through the multiple headlines.

“Lex Luthor, your brother, he did these things?” Kara asked as she continued to read through the horrific crimes committed by Lex.

“Yes. Every one of them. He confessed and he was convicted.”

“For treason...Lena, doesn’t that carry the death penalty?” Kara asked sadly then turned to face her friend. “Are you okay? I can’t imagine what having to lose your brother in that way would feel like.”

“For fuck’s sake, Kara. Are you even real?” Lena shook her head. “I told you that my brother was a convicted terrorist. He killed people, Kara. I am related to a monster and you are asking me if I’m okay.”

“But he was your brother. Just because people do horrible things, that doesn’t mean that our love for them was or is invalid. He hurt people, he hurt you Lena. And that has to Right?”

Lena wiped at tears that pooled in her eyes. “And here I thought that you finding out would actually change the way you saw me.”

Kara sat the computer down on the bed and quickly wrapped Lena up in her arms. “You are not your brother, Lena. You are kind and funny and so very smart. And so what, you’re a Luthor….wait, Luthor.” She scanned the pages again and then laughed out loud. “You’re rich. That’s why you thought it was funny that I told you I’d pay you to help me.”

“I have some money, yes. But you bought me frozen yogurt.”

“I’m guessing that most of the other people here know who you are then.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah, but the thing is...tonight, with you and your friends…”

“Our friends.” Kara felt the need to correct her.

“Tonight, it felt almost real. Like they weren’t judging me or terrified of me or plotting ways to use me.”

“Because they weren’t.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“Who your family is or what happened to you doesn’t have to define you, Lena. Winn told me once, that announcing yourself to the world, no matter who you are, is scary because what if the world doesn’t like you. But that we don’t have to be scared because we don’t ever have to do it alone. You’re not alone anymore Lena. And if the world knows the Lena Luthor that I have just gotten to know, they couldn’t possibly dislike you.”

Before she released her hold on Lena, she squeezed her tighter just a little bit. Then she wiped at her eyes because she hadn’t realized she started crying, too.

“Thanks, Kara. For everything.” Lena said as she awkwardly distanced herself and picked up her yogurt, probably for something to keep her trembling hands busy. “I’m still wondering though, how it is you didn’t know about any of this. It made national news.”

One of the first things Kara noticed when reading the articles were the dates. “My parents died five years ago. My whole life had fallen apart. I had to move from the one place I knew across town to live with the Danvers’ who later adopted me. Plus, I was thirteen and I heard that teenagers can be pretty self absorbed sometimes.”

She attempted at a joke but knew if fell flat when Lena reached out and grabbed her and and squeezed tightly. She hated getting sympathy. That was why she hated talking about it. But she felt like she owed Lena a little more than that, after what the other girl had entrusted her with.

“Clark, my cousin...he lost his parents when he was a baby and was adopted by Winn’s family. Clark and I are the only living family either of us have. I used to spend all my time at Winn’s house growing up. So I got to know his neighbors really well. Alex was one of them. I had a really rough time when it all happened, I kind of shut everyone out, even Clark. And when I first moved in with the Danvers’, I know I was an awful kid. Alex hated me back then. And I don’t blame her. Sometimes, I still have dark days. I still lose myself in those thoughts, those memories.”

She chanced a glance at Lena.

“Anyway, yeah, nothing much existed back then beyond my own pain. And I’m pretty sure that I consumed a lot of time for Alex, Winn and Clark as well. So, thanks to my tragedy, I wasn’t even aware of yours.”

“Don’t do that.”

“What?”

“Belittle what you’ve been through. Try to make jokes to make me feel more comfortable about it. I won’t even pretend I understand or know what you’ve been through, but I don’t think any less of you Kara. Just as you said you don’t think any less of me.”

Kara inhaled thickly, moments away from sobbing, and the scent of vanilla that was so completely Lena accosted her senses.

“How about we make a pact. This is our year. We’re both going to put ourselves out there.” Kara announced with all the bravado she could muster. She knew she needed this as much as Lena did though. It would be good for both of them.

“Ok.” Lena hesitated. “Together though, okay?”

“Of course, together. I can’t do it alone.” Kara stated with certainty.

They sat in silence for a few minutes until Kara’s phone rang. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and saw that Alex was calling her. She smiled at Lena.

“It’s my sister, I’m gonna take this.” She said as she accepted the call and put her phone to her ear. “Hey, Alex.”

“Kara, did you know that your roommate is Lena Luthor? The Lena Luthor.”

Kara rolled her eyes and put her hand over her phone. “I’m going to take this outside.”

Lena simply nodded in acknowledgement as Kara walked out of the room.

“Yes. Alex, she just told me who she was. It’s not like it matters either way.”

“What to you mean it doesn’t matter? Her brother was certifiably insane, Kara. Actually crazy.”

Kara sighed. “Yes. Her brother. Not her.” She heard Alex inhale sharply and knew she was going to argue, so she cut her off. “You liked her. Today, when we all hung out. You liked her. She’s funny and nice and stupidly smart.”

“And really pretty.” Alex seemed to reply offhandedly.

“Yes, she’s also really pretty. And you know what? Winn’s dad spent most of our childhood in prison. But you never warned me about being friends with him. Because you know that a he is not his family.”

“You’re right.” Alex conceded. “You know what, now I’m really glad I nearly broke that stupid freshman’s nose for bad mouthing her.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, that’s how I found out who she was. He stopped me on my way back to my building and told me I should warn you about the psycho you have as a roommate.”

Kara instantly felt horrible. No wonder Lena had been wary of her motives this afternoon. No wonder she was so worried about Kara’s reaction when she finally came clean about who she was a few minutes prior. Because there are people who treat her horribly just because of what her last name happens to be.

“Although I don’t condone violence, Alex. I’m grateful that you stood up for Lena. I get the feeling she’s not used to having people who have her back.”

“No problem. I actually enjoyed wiping that smug smirk off his face.”

“You’re the actual best, Alex.”

“I know. Anyway, I just wanted to check in with you and....”

“And make sure that my roommate didn’t slaughter me.” Kara finished the sentence with annoyance. “Speaking of murderous roommates, are you really going to let Sam stay with you? You were looking forward to having your own room this year.”

“She seems pretty cool. And if her roommate really did kill her...I don’t want that on my conscious. I already have bio-chem to get through.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you actually have a heart buried somewhere really deep down.”

“Bye!” Alex yelled over Kara as she chuckled at her sister.

When Kara returned to her room, Lena was still where she had left her.

“Is your sister alright?”

“Yeah, she…” Kara fidgeted with her phone as she took a few steps toward Lena’s bed. “I need to tell you something.”

“She doesn’t want you to room with the sister of a psycho, does she?” Lena asked sadly.

“No! That’s not it at all.” She awkwardly sat down beside Lena. “I think there might be some students around campus that will give you a hard time. Alex already punched a freshman in the nose because…”

She was interrupted by Lena’s melodious laughter which caused Kara to frown.

“It’s not funny, Lena. Alex could have gotten expelled for something like that and the school year hasn’t even officially started yet.”

Lena’s features immediately sobered. “I’m not laughing about that, well, I am. Alex defended me.”

“Well, of course she would. She’s loyal, to a fault sometimes.”

Lena hummed in contentment but remained silent otherwise.

“The point is Lena, that she shouldn’t have had to defend you. I hate that people are still giving you a hard time and it’s been five years. Plus, they don’t even know you. I promise if they did…”

“If they did, what?” Lena asked eagerly as her eyes shot up to meet Kara’s.

“If they even tried talking to you for five minutes, they’d know that you were a good person.”

Lena stared a few seconds longer before she shook her head with a slight smile. “I guess I owe Alex a thank you next time I see her.”

“Please don’t. She already has a hero complex, I don’t need it going to her head.”

“Duly noted.”

 

SSSSSSSS

 

Kara spent the next afternoon at the campus bookstore stocking up on all her requirements for the semester. She should have assumed every other student would have the same plan, because it was past noon and she still stood in line. At least she made sure to charge her phone before she left, because she was texting all her new friends in order to stave off the boredom. Patience was never something she prided herself in. And it was lunchtime, as her stomach continuously reminded her.

“I think I heard your stomach growling from our dorm room.” Lena’s sultry voice sliced through the ambient noise of the busy room.

Kara turned toward the direction of the intrusion, ready to argue. However, the warm smile that greeted her and the food that accompanied it, made her response die in her throat. Lena’s hands were full of an assortment of Kara’s favorite things.

“I didn’t know what you really were hungry for so I just brought you everything you mentioned in the last two hours.” She announced as she self-consciously bit her lip.

“You are a goddess, truly.” Kara pronounced as she took a few of the items in Lena’s hands.

She moaned in satisfaction around the spoonful of frozen yogurt.

“I knew you were a dessert before dinner kind of person.” Lena commented as she shook her head in amusement. “I figured you could eat that while your hot chocolate cools a little. And I also made sure to get you some potstickers. I was told these are the best in town.”

Kara’s eyes widened at the proclamation. “Seriously. That restaurant is like...across town and...expensive.”

Lena rolled her eyes. “Then they better be good.”

“Did you get anything for yourself?” Kara asked as she continued to spoon mouthfuls of her frozen yogurt into her mouth.

Lena nodded as she removed a saland from one of the take-out bags. “I also got donuts from Noonan’s, across campus.”

Kara was in awe of her friend. And so extremely grateful. But also, she felt a bit guilty. She took a step closer to Lena and pulled her by the elbow until they practically stood on top of each other.

“I love you for this. I do. But I want you to know that I am constantly overdramatic when it comes to food and I am not literally dying even though I may use the words literally dying when I describe how hungry I am.” Kara told her honestly and then she lowered her voice even further. “And please tell me this isn’t because you feel like you owe me anything. You don’t owe me for the frozen yogurt I bought you last night. And you don’t need to buy my friendship, I’m already yours.”

Lena’s breath hitched a bit before she slowly exhaled and took a small step away from Kara. When she spoke, her voice was just as quiet as Kara’s had been.

“I’m not used to having friends. Minions, maybe. Acquaintances. Possible business partners and the odd, terribly unfitting suitor. But never a friend. I’m sorry if I’m getting it wrong. I’ll need a learning curve.”

Kara took the hot chocolate from Lena’s hand and blew on it to cool it. Then she took a sip and smiled brightly at her friend.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Lena. You are already an awesome friend. I just wanted you to know that you don’t have to try so hard. I already like you. I will never complain when you by me food, especially all of my favorites all at once. But I will never ask you to or expect it of you. Okay?”

Lena nodded and a look akin to contentment washed across her face. “I...thank you, Kara. I’m really glad that my first friend is you.”

Kara didn’t know how to respond to that, and she had the feeling that nothing would be adequate enough. So instead, she quietly sipped her drink as she anxiously bounced on the balls of her feet.

“You’re not the most patient person, are you?” Lena asked with a teasing smirk.

“I am patient...with people. I have endless patience and compassion and empathy. But when I have to wait in lines....there’s just so many other wonderful things I’d rather be doing and I can’t help thinking about all of them. And it makes me...anxious.”

“You could have ordered most of your books online, it might have even been cheaper. Or we could have come here yesterday, while most people were still unpacking.”

Kara groaned. Both of those ideas would have been infinitely better than standing in line for the last two hours.

“Are you this grumpy because of the waiting in line or because you’re hungry?”

Kara blushed. “Both. Please don’t judge me based on this. I promise I am usually a lot more upbeat.”

“I don’t doubt it. You’re like the sun, you’re so bright.”

“I try to be. It gets exhausting sometimes.” She admitted before thinking better of it.

“You don’t have to pretend with me. If you just want to grumble and complain and wallow in the misery of your existence, I will wallow with you.” Lena replied lightly, but it carried a weighted sadness with which Kara was all to familiar.

Before she could reply, it was her turn to purchase books. She finished the transaction as quickly as possible and then they went outside and found a nice place under a large oak tree to eat their lunch. They chatted amicably while they ate.

“I promise you’ll love it. Their food is wonderful. And we’ll have leftovers for days!” Lena argued, then she smirked in a way that Kara had come to associate with teasing. “Well, maybe not days with the way you eat.”

“I resent that.”

“Resent what?” Sam asked as she approached them with a smile. “Do you mind if I join you? I just finished moving my stuff into Alex’s room and I need to lay down before I brave the bookstore.”

“Of course you’re welcome to join us.” Kara answered. “Lena was just telling me about an Ethiopian restaurant I need to try. Apparently you get to eat with your fingers using the awesome spongy bread.”

“That sounds cool. Is it near campus?”

“No. it’s the next city over.” Lena replied. “But well worth the trip.”

Sam nodded wordlessly.

“So, you and my sister, huh?” Kara asked as she finished her last potsticker.

Sam’s eyes widened. “What? We’re not...I mean, I…”

“I’ll tell you now that she may act all big and tough, and I mean, yeah she could kick your ass, but she wouldn’t. She’s actually a sweetheart. She the best person I know. So don’t let her scare you off.”

Sam’s eyes narrowed slightly as she looked at Kara, then glanced toward Lena. Lena’s expression remained unreadable. Kara wondered if she had said the wrong thing. Then she worried that Sam would repeat her words to Alex and her sister would kill her for it.

“So this is where you’ve been hiding.” Lucy exclaimed as she collapsed on the ground next to Kara.

“We aren’t hiding.” Kara replied seriously.

Lucy took a piece from one of the donuts that sat between them. Kara rolled her eyes at the girl but when she looked at Lena, the other girl looked genuinely distraught.

“If you wanted the vanilla dipped one, I promise to buy you another one before we go back to our room.” Kara told her.

Lena seemed to relax after that and Kara smiled to herself before taking a piece of the one Lucy had broken in two.

“These are really good. Noonan’s right?” Lucy said after she swallowed her mouthful. Then she reached for Lena’s drink and finished the rest of it to wash down the donut. “Sorry. I’m

starving. I’ll pay you back, I promise.”

“You don’t have to pay me back, just maybe...ask next time.” Lena deflated.

“Of course.” Lucy looked genuinely sorry. “I’ll buy the pizza Friday night, it’s the least I can do.”

Lena smiled at that and Lucy returned it.

“Have you been to the bookstore yet? I swear the line keeps getting longer. I gave up. I think I’ll just order my books online.” Lucy said.

“It’s still that busy?” Sam groaned. “I wanted to get a head start on my required reading and if I don’t get my books today, I won’t have time to get as far ahead as I hoped.”

“What classes are they?” Lena asked

Soon the four of them were engrossed in lively conversation as the hours ticked away. When Kara finally looked around campus, she noticed how busy it currently was and how loud. It amazed her that she had been lost in her own little world without realizing it. The thing that had surprised her the most however, was the fact that for the first time in as long as she could remember, she felt like she had crossed that invisible line that usually kept her at a distance from the people around her. She longed to fit in but always felt like she was being kept back, that she was never able to do so. Yesterday, she felt an inkling of what it might have been like to truly belong among friends. To find her place. But today she knew she had finally achieved it. These people were her home. Just as much as Winn and Clark and Alex ever were.

“Earth to Kara.” Lucy’s voice was accompanied by a hand being waved in front of her face.

“Maybe it’s a food coma.” Lena teased, but her tone held a certain amount of concern.

“Very funny.” She slapped Lucy’s hand away, which made the other girl laugh. “I was thinking about how I’m so glad I met the three of you.”

“Awww, thanks Kara. The feeling is entirely mutual.” Sam admitted fondly and Lena hummed in agreement.

Lucy rolled her eyes playfully but her genuine smile told Kara all she needed to know. It was nearly six o’clock when Alex found them.

“Now that you’re my roommate, you’re supposed to be my friend, you traitor.” She teased as she sat down beside Sam.

“Don’t make be choose between the Danvers sisters, that’s an impossible choice.” Sam answered.

“I know right. I thought I preferred brunettes but then little Danvers has the hot librarian vibe going on and it’s like Sophie’s Choice.” Lucy commented.

Kara blushed shyly and her eyes fell on Lena, who determinedly avoided eye contact from everyone in the group. Alex laughed awkwardly from the other side of their makeshift circle.

“Speaking of gay things…” Lucy continued but was interrupted.

“Nobody was talking about gay things.” Alex replied adamantly.

Lucy raised an eyebrow. “Speaking of gay things, I assume you know about the GSA club. Meetings start two weeks from Wednesday. I know Winn, Clark, Ava and Sara are going to attend.” She pointedly looks around the group before she sighed. “I’m actually going to petition to have the club renamed because I think it needs to be more inclusive. I’m been talking to a lot

of people around campus trying to make sure to spread the word. But we could always use more allies.”

Midvale didn’t have a Gay Straight Alliance or any kind of LGBT clubs at all. Very few people were out in her old high school, and none that she personally knew until Winn and Clark and that only came into light six months ago. After Winn came out, she thoroughly researched the topic. Even then, she knew she had a lot to learn and could likely benefit from joining the club. Being a good ally to her best friends meant everything to Kara. However, she did wonder why Lucy brought it up to her instead of Winn or Clark. Did they not want her to go?

“You can count on me.” Sam said into the newly awkward atmosphere.

Kara loved her for it. Sam was such a genuinely kind person.

“I should talk to Winn and Clark, if they didn’t tell me about it, maybe they want some space.”

“Screw them!” Lucy groaned. “I want you there to support me.”

“I...okay.”

Movement from the other side of Sam caught her attention as she saw Alex stand up. She was gone before anyone could say goodbye.

“She’s not a homophobe is she?” Lucy asked with disdain.

“No. I...we’ve never talked about it before. But she seemed fine with Winn and Clark when they came out.” Kara admitted. She stood up. “I’m going to go talk to her. I’ll catch you all later.”

She jogged after her. She found Alex pacing on the sidewalk and she looked visibly upset. She hesitated as she approached her, too scared to reach out to get her attention.

“Alex?” She rested her hand on her sister’s shoulder.

The older girl jumped and her eyes widened as they fell on Kara.

“Sorry, I just...I don’t know.”

“Do you have a problem with Lucy being...well, she’s not straight. And I know I didn’t react the best when I found out about Winn but that was...things were complicated. Lucy’s our friend. That should be all that matters.”

Alex calmed down slightly and nodded. But she remained silent.

“Promise me you’ll think about it? I downloaded some research about several topics after Winn came out. I can send it to you if you want?” Kara offered.

“I’m good. Thanks.”

“But...you’re okay with them, right? I never actually asked what you thought about Clark and Winn, but you seemed fine with it.”

“I am. I love them. That hasn’t changed.”

Kara nodded. Maybe that was enough for now. If Alex continued to be awkward about it, she would revisit this conversation. She hugged her sister and was saddened to feel her tremble in her embrace.

“Alex...I don’t know what’s going on with you. But I’m here, talk to me.”

“I don’t know how to, Kara. Not about this.” She replied brokenly as her voice hitched on Kara’s name. “I can’t lose you. I never want to lose you.”

“You won’t, Alex.” She held her tighter. “Ever.” She rubbed her shoulders and kissed her on the forehead. “But you’re really starting to scare me.”

“I’m fine.”

“Alex.” She stated firmly.

Alex sighed and burrowed further into her sister’s embrace. “I will be fine.”

The brunette eased away from Kara and walked back toward her dorm. Kara watched until her big sister disappeared from her line of sight. There was a sudden presence beside her that startled her and she gasped as she turned to face the intruder.

“Is she okay?” Lena asked.

Kara simply nodded.

“Are you okay?” Lena wondered.

Re-cycling Alex’s words from a few moments ago, Kara exhaled shakily. “I will be.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” She started to walk toward their building. “I grabbed your books. And snagged the one remaining donut Lucy managed not to eat.”

Kara sensed annoyance in Lena’s voice, but wasn’t sure whether it was real or fake. She decided not to comment on it.

“We can grab you another one or a coffee, on the way back.” She decided to say instead.

“Thanks, but I just really want to get back to our room. Today was a big day.”

“But we did it, didn’t we?”

An arched eyebrow was her response, which made her smile.

“We made that pact that we’d put ourselves out there. And we did.”

“Not really. We were sitting alone under a tree and got bombarded by random people.” The tone of her voice betrayed her words. Kara knew Lena had just as much fun as she did.

“Random people. Uh huh. They just keep gravitating toward me, because I am the sun.”

Lena rolled her eyes and leaned into Kara. “You think it’s a joke, but it’s true.”

“Whatever you say. Lucy probably just smelled our food.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Lena smiled. “Her appetite nearly puts yours to shame.”

“I guess we should be glad she offered to buy the pizza for Friday. That way we can’t complain when she eats most of it.”

Lena’s eyes lit up. “I didn’t think about it that way! It’s so true though.”

“Although, I doubt it’ll stop me from complaining. If I’m being honest.”

“I doubt you could lie to save your life.”

Kara blushed. “You’re so right. When I tried lying to Eliza in high school, my stomach would get all tied up in knots and I would be sick for the entire day. It was never worth it. And I also suck at poker. Which Alex learned early on. She beat me so many times, I pretty much had to do all of her chores for my entire sophomore year. She’s also a pool shark. Don’t let her fool you.”

“You ramble.” Lena stated fondly.

“I do. When I get excited or nervous.” She frowned. “So often.”

“It’s cute.”

Kara blushed and didn’t reply. They made it back safely to their room shortly after.

 

SSSSSSSSSS

 

Two nights later, Kara and most of her new friends sat around hers and Lena’s room as they laughed, played board games and ate pizza. Alex told Kara not to pack all of her board games because it was college and they were too lame. But she packed them anyway and was proud of herself when they all laughed and played one game after another. First, they played Scrabble (Lena won much to Alex’s disappointment). Then they played Dominoes (Lucy won to the disappointment of everyone because she was a horrible winner). After that, they tried to play Monopoly, but they had to quit halfway through because friendships were nearly ended due to the competitiveness between Alex, Lucy and Ava.

They finally settled on watching a movie even though it took nearly forty minutes to decide on one. Kara watched her group of friends more than whatever movie had been decided upon. They all seemed genuinely content. Ava, Sara and Sam cuddled on Kara’s bed. Alex, Kara, Lucy and Lena barely fit on Lena’s bed and the boys sprawled out on the floor.

“Sorry I tried telling you not to bring your board games.” Alex told Kara at the end of the night when almost everyone else had left. “I shouldn’t have discouraged you from being yourself. Besides, they were a hit.”

Kara hugged her sister. “Of course they were a hit.”

“I do call a rematch on Scrabble next week, Luthor!” Alex called out as she left.

“Should I have let her win?” Lena asked seriously.

“No, never. She would never respect you if you did. This is better, she has to work for it. She always dominated at home. And never let me live it down. I’m the writer, but I can’t spell to save my life.”

“I think next week we should actually finish Monopoly. I was so winning.” Lucy commented. She had been cleaned up after everyone and even made sure to take out the trash.

Lena smiled at her. “I’m guessing game night in the Lane house was about as intense as game night at the Luthor house.”

“The Luthors had a game night?” Lucy’s eyebrows shot up. “I need to reimagine everything I assumed about you.

Lena shrugged. “Not so much a game night as a ninety minute lecture about the Art of War while brushing up on my Chess skills.”

“That sounds…” Kara trailed off.

“It sounds like we need to play Chess, Lena.” Lucy grinned.

“I...would like that actually.” Lena admitted shyly.

“I didn’t bring Chess.” Kara frowned. “Oh, we do have a game at home. I’ll have my mom bring it when she comes up next weekend.”

Lena touched her shoulder gently. “That would be great.”

Lucy sighed. “I guess I should head back to my room. Have I mentioned my roommate is the devil?”

“I’m sorry.” Kara hugged her. “If it gets too bad, you’re more than welcome to crash here. We can share my bed.”

Lucy’s eyes widened and she glanced toward Lena.

“Kara’s right, you’re always welcome here.”

“Thanks! You guys are the best.” She hugged Lena. “I’ll keep that in mind. Night.”

The following week looked pretty much the same as the week prior. Kara enjoyed all the time in between her first week of classes getting to know her new friends. Now that the weekend was finally upon them again, Kara found herself once again surrounded by her friends. They had already finished a card game called Screw Your Neighbor which was not as bad as it sounded and it involved their own version of gambling (Peanut Butter M&M's as currency).

They decided to break for pizza. Lucy, Sam, Ava, Winn, Clark and James had somehow made themselves at home on either the floor or Kara’s bed. So Kara had joined Lena on hers. She looked down at her phone for the seventh time in ten minutes. Alex had texted to tell her she planned to join them but she still hadn’t shown up and after the strange episode a few days ago, Kara was worried about her sister.

She jumped when a soft, pale hand landed on her forearm. Kara looked up and her eyes met Lena’s concerned ones.

“She still hasn’t texted you back?” She asked softly.

Kara shook her head and put her phone in her back pocket. “I think I’m going to go look for her. Just in case.”

“Want me to come along?”

“No, it’s okay. Thanks though.” Kara stood up from Lena’s bed. “I’m going to go out for a minute, I’ll be right back.”

She only got a few grunts in acknowledgement. Then she gave a parting smile to Lena, who easily returned it. As she opened the door, she was shocked by the sight that greeted her.

Sara had Alex shoved against the opposite hallway as they heavily made out. Kara stood frozen in the open doorway as laughter poured out into the hallway and startled the other women apart.

Alex’s eyes met Kara’s and a look of absolute terror passed within them. The blonde knew instantly that her sister was about to run...again.

“Alex! Wait!” She reached out and suddenly the noise behind them came to a halt which only made Alex appear more horrified.

Sara backed away slowly. She glanced at Kara as she passed. “I’ll just…” She shut the door behind her as she entered Kara’s room and suddenly everything became real.

“So...you’re...you...Sara, huh?” Kara stuttered awkwardly.

Alex brushed her hands quickly through her short hair and started to pace. “Kara…”

Kara was torn between going to her sister so she could hug her, and keeping a respectable distance until Alex stopped pacing. She understood the importance of this conversation. Kara knew what it had been like for Winn. How coming out was a personal thing. Something that took time and the right words and the right audience and nothing about this situation was right for Alex. She didn’t get to choose her words and her how and her when. Kara essentially took that choice from her own sister and that thought made her stomach ache and her heart break. It suddenly didn’t matter how much she researched the topic, it didn’t matter that she wanted to have the proper response next time someone close to her decided she was worthy enough to know that part of them. All of her preparation and her growth and her good intentions, none of it meant anything in this moment.

“I love you.” Kara whispered. “If you’re ready to talk about it, I’m here. If you need space...I…”

“I can’t do this now, Kara.” Alex left her again.

Kara didn’t know how long she stood in the hallway. But when the door opened, Ava was

the one to walk out of it.

“Is Alex okay?”

Kara didn’t know how to answer that.

“I gather you had no idea.”

That barely received a nod.

“Just because she wasn’t ready to come out to you right now...or before this...sometimes, it isn’t about coming out at all. Sometimes it’s about how you feel about yourself. Not everyone is okay with who they are...and that doesn’t even have to have anything to do with being gay or lesbian or bi. She just might not be ready to be herself yet. Or maybe she doesn’t know what that even is yet, and that’s okay too.”

Kara nodded.

“When she is ready...she has all of us. And she has you. She has to know she has you.”

Kara wiped at the tears that had formed in her eyes. “Does she though?”

“I’m sure she does.”

“I’m not. I haven’t always been...I could be better.” Kara admitted even though she wasn’t ready to relive a lot about the last few years, she could acknowledge that Alex had been a far better sister than Kara had been to her.

Ava seemed to mull over the words. “Then be better.”

And just like that, she decided she would be. Alex deserved it. She sobbed then and was comforted when Ava’s arms quickly wrapped around her. She felt safe and she felt like they could all make it through this.

“Sara...I hope she doesn’t think I hate her.” Kara said into the silence.

“I think she’s worried that she ruined things between you and Alex and she never wanted to hurt either of you. She’s just…”

“She’s great and I can see why Alex would be interested in her.”

She felt Ava stiffen so she pulled away. She couldn’t read Ava’s face, but she exuded genuine kindness and for that, Kara was grateful.

“Thank you for checking on me.”

“I had to fight a few people to get the honor. We all care about you a great deal, Kara.”

“I’m beginning to realize that. For the record, I care just as much about all of you.”

Ava reached out and grabbed Kara’s hand and instantly she felt better. More grounded. She let Ava lead her back into her room and was overwhelmed when everyone’s eyes were on them. She smiled her best reassuring smile and felt Ava squeeze her hand slightly before she let go and sat on Kara’s bed beside Lucy.

Everyone seemed to fall back into conversation, but Kara did feel someone’s eyes burning into her. She found the source in Lena Luthor. Her roommate smiled at her, then mouthed “are you okay?” which made Kara smile in return and nod at her. It wasn’t a lie. At that moment, with these people, she knew that everything would turn out okay.

She looked away from Lena when she noticed Sam coming toward her. “I wanted to make sure you were okay before I take off. I’m going to check on Alex. You probably don’t want her to be alone right now either.”

“That would be great. Thank you, Sam.” She hugged her friend. “Text me updates, okay? If she opens up to you or tells you things...you don’t have to betray her trust at all. Just...let me

know she’s doing okay.”

“I will. Of course, I will.”

“And if she isn’t...if you think she needs me, even if she says she doesn’t want to talk to me...no, you know what, if she doesn’t want to talk to me yet, I will respect that. It’s about her. But let her know; make sure she knows I’m here. If she asks.”

“You know, I will.”

Kara pulled away regrettably. “Thank you, Sam”

Then she had an idea. She grabbed one of the half-eaten boxes of pizza and handed it to her.

“Hey!” Lucy protested with a pout.

“It’s for Alex, she hasn’t eaten yet.” Lena chastised.

“I know. And she deserves pizza. But did you have to give her the Hawaiian one? That’s my favorite.”

“You’re ridiculous.” James threw his napkin at her.

“I’m kidding.” Lucy mumbled.

Sam leaned in conspiratorially. “She’s really not.”

“I heard that.” Lucy stood up and walked toward them. “I could go talk to her too, if you think that will help. I know what it’s like to be a self-loathing bisexual. I told you about my dad, right?”

Sam and Kara both nodded.

“He never outright said he hated gay people, but he served for years under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and that was pretty much the way I felt growing up. It wasn’t easy. I know I act...I know you think I’m…”

“I don’t think you’re anything but you, Lucy. And I happen to think you’re pretty great.” Kara admitted.

When Lucy’s entire face lit up, she knew she said the right thing. And she also meant every word of it. Sam smiled at her affectionately as well.

“So, we’ll go check on her and keep you posted.” Sam told her.

Lucy sighed dramatically. “And I promise I’m not just following the pizza. But if Alex offers me a slice, I will not say ‘No.’”

“And I wouldn’t expect any less from you.” Kara smirked as she hugged Lucy and walked them both out of the room. “Thanks for everything.”

“No need to thank us.” Sam replied.

“Yeah, that’s what friends are for. And Alex is our friend, too.” Lucy stated.

Kara left them in the hallway and returned to her room. She glided across the room and fell onto Lena’s bed. The other girl quickly made room for her as she sprawled out tiredly on the bed. She sighed contentedly as she felt Lena weave her fingers through her hair.

“Alex is strong, even though she doesn’t always have to be. When she realizes she doesn’t need to carry this burden alone, she’ll come to you.”

Kara smiled into the mattress. Lena was right. About all of it.

She looked up when she felt the bed dip and rolled on her back to let Winn hug her. She rearranged them on the bed so they weren’t laying so awkwardly. Clark sat on on the other side of them.

“Alex wrote me when my big coming out happened at school. Just to check in. Tell me she was proud of me. Remind me that she loved me. I should have told you that.” Winn told her quietly. “She’s a really amazing person and she cares so much about the people around her. Remember what I told you when you asked me why I didn’t tell you I was gay, even though you were my best friend?”

Kara frowned at that. It wasn’t her proudest moment. She regretted making his coming out about her.

“You said that you didn’t want things between us to change.”

“You and I may be best friends. And Clark is your cousin. And Alex means the world to me. But Kara...you mean everything to Alex. Even though this doesn’t change the way you love her...it will change some things. And to acknowledge that...it can be terrifying.”

“What can it really change? She’s still my sister. She’s still the same person I have always known. If anything...I think it can make us closer.” She glanced around the room and noticed that the others were not so subtly eavesdropping. “Come over here you guys. It will save me from having to repeat myself.”

Ava, Sara and James squeezed onto the bed. Kara and Winn sat up so they all had more room.

“My parents died when I was thirteen and I was adopted by Alex’s family. Winn was her neighbor, and Clark was adopted by his family when he was a baby.”

“My dad and Kara’s dad were brothers. We lost our whole family and only had each other.”

“My dad went to prison when I was ten.” Winn admitted and shared a fond, knowing look with Lena. “So the three of us...we knew what it was like to lose people. We became each other’s family. But Alex…”

“Eliza and Jeremiah are the best parents in the world. She had the most perfect family. She has the most perfect family. And they will be accepting and loving and supportive. I envied Alex and I admired her and sometimes, I was an absolute brat.” Kara added.

Winn stage whispered. “She was an annoying little bitchy thirteen year old who was grieving and Alex’s whole perfect life got uprooted. So yeah, things weren’t always roses and rainbows.”

“Well, they kind of were always rainbows though...am I right?” Sara smirked.

They all glared at her.

“Too soon?”

Kara couldn’t help it, she burst out in laughter and everyone else immediately smiled. When the laughter died down, she continued her story.

“But even though everything changed for Alex and even though we fought constantly that first year, I knew she had my back. She’s always been protective of me. And soon, we were inseparable. When I wasn’t with Clark and Winn, I was with Alex. A lot of the time, Alex was with the three of us anyway. But she always seemed too far away...like I couldn’t quite reach her. Not completely. I understand now. She kept that part of her closed off. She...I hope that things change now. I want to know everything there is to know about her. I want her to know she can fully be herself and be loved because of it. And I can’t wait to be in her wedding. I already have the perfect song I want to sing for her as she walks down the aisle. Oooh, I get to be an Aunt!”

“Kara, honey, you might be rushing things a little. Please don’t tell her everything you just said.” Lena said calmly.

“I mean, she did run the first time she kissed a girl...so yeah, keep the whole wedding planning and baby stuff to yourself for a little while.” Clark added.

Kara knew they were right. But she also couldn’t keep her mind from wandering. She imagined Alex on her wedding day. And she thought about Clark and Winn and their inevitable ceremony. Suddenly, her thoughts betrayed her and she went from happy to sad instantaneously. Why couldn’t she ever have the love story? The epic romance. The perfect happy ending. Why was she always stuck on the other side of that invisible line that kept her from truly joining in, from truly being happy. She was surrounded by her friends but suddenly felt so alone. Sure they loved her, that was easy to see; but why could she never find someone to fall in love with her? What was she missing?

 

SSSSSSSSSSS

 

Kara startled awake when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. It was dark in their room, and she felt firm arms around her mid-section. As the tried to regain her senses, she eased her way out of Lena’s arms carefully. She must have fallen asleep sometime during their drama filled night. She remembered saying goodnight to her friends. Lena was perfect and refused to leave her side when she wallowed about not hearing from Alex. That must have been how she ended up asleep in her friend's bed. Kara needed to apologize for that in the morning.

She decided to check her phone in the bathroom, so she didn’t wake Lena up with the illumination.

The first texts she read were from Sam.

_We got her to laugh, cry and eat pizza._

_She’s sleeping now so I consider it a success._

_I think she’ll be okay._

 

She also had two texts from Lucy.

 

_Your sister will be fine because I am awesome._

So is Sam, I guess.

 

She texted both of them back to say, “Thank you.” Then Kara washed her face and brushed her teeth and went to the bathroom. When she was finished, she exited the bathroom but her eyes fell on Lena’s sleeping figure. She hesitated a moment as she looked at her cold, lonely and prestinely made bed, but it suddenly didn’t seem as appealing to her. Without much thought, she walked back over to Lena’s bed and slid in beside the other girl. A smile graced her lips when she felt Lena burrow into her and wrap her arms tightly around Kara’s waist again. She fell back to sleep within minutes.

The next morning wasn’t as awkward as perhaps it should have been. Lena had woken

up first and was already dressed, when Kara’s eyes finally opened. She noticed Lena at her desk as she typed on her computer.

“Sorry I hogged your bed.” Kara yawned as she spoke which only made Lena chuckle.

“I’m not. Looks like you got a good night’s sleep and halfway through the morning.” Lena chuckled as she closed her laptop and turned to face Kara. “Are you feeling better today?”

“Mmmmhm.” Kara shamelessly snugged further under the blankets and buried her face in Lena’s pillow. “The girls texted last night to let me know Alex was okay and had fallen asleep. I was able to sleep properly after that.”

Lena nodded. “The two of you will work it out. I know it.”

Kara smiled sadly. “I’m sure we will, eventually. I just hate all this inbetween stuff where we’re both hurting and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“You’ll figure it out. And until you do, at least you know that Alex isn’t alone.”

“Yeah, that is...that’s important.”

Her eyes widened as a sudden realization hit her. “Eliza’s coming today. She’ll know something happened. I don’t want Alex to feel pressured to talk about it...to come out to Eliza if she isn’t ready.”

“Maybe you could cancel? Tell her you have a lot of things to catch up on for Monday.”

“You know I suck at lying.”

“Blame me.”

“What?”

“The lonely roommate who doesn’t have any friends and needs your help with something.”

“I…”

“We could go to that Ethiopian restaurant I told you about. It’s out of town so even if they do stop by to check on you, you won’t even be here.”

Kara considered it. “I don’t want to make you lie to my mom.”

Lena rolled her eyes. “Unlike you, I survive by lying. It’s what makes me a Luthor.”

That admission saddened Kara and she wanted to address it. Maybe she would tonight, at dinner.

They were interrupted by a knock on their door. Lena stood up and walked toward the door, she pulled it open as she glanced back at Kara. Kara knew she still wore her clothes from yesterday and she was currently lying in Lena’s bed, but she really didn’t feel the need to remedy either of those things in that moment; so she nodded in acceptance of Lena’s unasked question.

“Hello.”

Kara sat up quickly when she recognized Eliza’s voice coming from the other side of the door.

“My name is Eliza, Kara’s mom. You must be Lena. Her roommate.”

Kara watched as Lena stepped aside to let both Alex and Eliza in the room.

“Yes, I’m Lena. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Alex’s eyes bore into Kara’s and seemed to be questioning her. She frowned at Kara which in turned caused the blonde to mirror her expression.

“Oh, gosh. Did I wake you? Alex slept late, too. I should have called first.” Eliza

apologized awkwardly.

“We just had a long night is all, Ms. Danvers. We ordered pizza and hung out with all of our new friends.” Lena smoothly explained. “I don’t get to hang out as much as I would like during the week because my classes keep me busy.”

Kara was grateful for Lena’s masterful art of deception.

“She’s a double major.” Kara explained.

“Really? What subjects, dear?”

“Physics and Bio-Chem.”

“Bio-Chem. That’s what Alex is majoring in.” Eliza replied proudly.

“Eliza was also a Bio-Chem major. Big brains run in the family.” Kara smiled lopsidedly.

“Don’t let Kara fool you. She is a math and science whiz as well. She just decided to pursue a degree in journalism. She wants to win the Pulitzer.”

Lena’s smile faltered a bit at the admission. Kara wasn’t the only one who noticed it.

“Real journalism. Not that tabloid shit.” Alex stated.

“Alex!” Eliza admonished.

Kara watched as Lena’s entire body relaxed.

“I haven’t decided about being a journalist, that’s why I’m taking Ms. Grant’s intro class. I love writing though. Almost as much as I do talking.”

Lena and Eliza chuckled while Alex almost cracked a smile.

“Kara and Clark used to write plays and Winn and Alex would help them act them out. They were so cute. I still have all the old videos I took.”

Kara blushed as Lena’s eyes fell on her.

“They basically ripped off Princess Bride and The Goonies.” Alex muttered wryly.

“Don’t be like that, Alex. They were wonderful.” Eliza gushed.

An overwhelmingly awkward silence befell them and Kara itched to get out of the room.

“I’m going to grab my stuff from your car. Thanks again for packing another box. I didn’t realize how many things I forgot.”

She jumped off Lena’s bed and stepped into her shoes.

Lena seemed to get the hint because she followed suit. “I’ll help.”

“I promise I’m not some paparazzo posing as a student to get the goods on you, Lena.” Kara felt the need to say when they got to the stairs.

Lena sighed. “I know. It’s just the knee-jerk reaction I have based on life experience.”

Kara understood that. “My mom adores you.”

“Your mom is great. And Alex…”

“It was awkward, right? It wasn’t just me.”

Lena shook her head. “I don’t think she’s trying to avoid you and I don’t think you’re intending to make it awkward…”

“But I made things awkward.”

“I think she worries you might slip and say something. Or maybe she’s still trying to figure out where the two of you stand. There’s a lot of air that needs to be cleared.”

“I know...I just think it’s best not to do that with Eliza present. Because I do shove my foot in my mouth, often. And I would hate to do that to Alex.”

“So, we’re still doing dinner later then?”

“Yeah, I think it’s the safest option.”

“I’ll make the reservations.” Lena said as she pulled out her phone.

No one spoke again until they were on the elevator.

“You’ve been really quiet the last few minutes.” Lena commented as she pushed the button to their floor.

“I think I just realized how much I’ll miss Jeremiah and Eliza this year. I’ve been so excited about starting over, about forgetting most of last year happened. I think I’ve been dwelling on everything I would gain this year that I didn’t realize what I was losing.”

They got out of the elevator and headed to their room.

“But you haven’t lost them.”

“I know. But it’s starting to feel like I have. And Eliza’s here, but I already miss her.”

“Then go to the family dinner.”

Kara shook her head. “How about we quick stop at Noonan’s and buy donuts? Then I can spend a little time with her before we leave for dinner.”

“That sounds great.”

They reached their door and Lena opened it for Kara. Kara set the box on her bed.

“We’re going to head out for a snack quick, we’ll be right back.” She announced and grabbed Lena’s hand to lead her out of the room.

When they walked back in the room thirty minutes later, Alex looked like she was about to pace a hole in the floor.

“What took you so long?” She asked hysterically.

“Sorry, Alex.” She pathetically held up the bag of donuts. “I thought I’d surprise you guys with donuts.”

“You should have called.” Alex growled with a scowl permanently etched on her face.

“I promise I will next time.”

“Next time.” Alex repeated with a roll of her eyes.

A soft knock on the door made Alex’s face soften. Once again, it was Lena who opened it.

“Looks like we both had the same idea.” Lena stated with a smile. “Kara and I tried surprising you with coffee and donuts.

Eliza looked toward her daughters and smiled when she saw Kara wave the bag with a guilty look on her face. Lena smiled at the expression as well, then leaned in to stage whisper to Eliza.

“Although we all know that Kara’s coffee is actually hot chocolate.”

“I guess some things will never change.” Eliza replied fondly.

They ate their donuts in amicable silence.

“So, Eliza...I hate to change our plans, but I don’t think I can make it to dinner tonight.” Kara spoke quietly as she glanced over at Alex in time to see her whole body stiffen. “It’s just that something else came up that I have to take care of for class on Monday.”

Eliza’s face looked crestfallen and Kara hated herself for it.

“Is everything alright, Kara?” She asked.

“It’s nothing too terrible. I normally would just wait, but it’s for Ms. Grant’s class and I’m already lucky enough to have gotten chosen for her class so I can’t screw it up.”

“I heard she’s quite something.”

Eliza seemed to take the excuse at face value which both pleased Kara and made her feel worse.

“She’s actually a pretty cool person. She knows a lot and she’s been through a lot. Kara will learn a great deal from her.” Lena replied.

“You...you know Cat Grant?!” Kara was in awe.

“CatCo has done numerous articles that featured my family throughout the years.” She raised an eyebrow. “And not all of them were defamority.”

“I followed a bit of your brothers trial, I have to admit. And I always hated how the media treated you and the rest of your family. I can’t imagine how high school had been for you, those years are hard enough already.” Eliza told Lena kindly and with utter sincerely. Kara swore she saw tears pool in the her roommate’s eyes. “I’m really glad you seem to be settling in here and you couldn’t have asked for better friends than my girls. Not that I’m a proud mom whose bragging or anything, but they did turn out pretty fantastically. If you ask me.”

Lena released a watery laugh as she smiled fondly. “Believe me, Ms. Danvers. I know exactly how lucky I am. Because, you’re right. They are pretty fantastic.”

Kara took in the scene with contentment, but her heart broke all over again when she looked at Alex. Her sister looked like she was barely holding herself together. She trembled in the corner and her eyes were red-rimmed. Kara made a step toward her, but Alex backed into the wall like a terrified caged animal.

The only consolation was that Eliza was too preoccupied with Lena to notice, and Kara knew her sister well enough that she’d slap on a smile and be good as new as soon as she needed to be. That knowledge used to comfort her; now it shattered her already broken heart.

Kara left Eliza and Lena to chat while she grabbed some clean clothes and got ready for the remainder of the day. She forced herself not to look in Alex’s direction less she might alert Eliza to her distress.

After Kara had finished getting ready, she and Lena parted ways with Kara’s family with heartfelt promises to make it up to Eliza soon.

The uber ride to the restaurant was quiet apart from the frantic thumbing of Kara’s heart. She never hated herself more than she did when her eyes caught Alex’s and her sister looked so completely shattered.

“I still can’t believe your mom actually invited me over for the holidays if I never wanted or needed to get away from home.” Lena commented after they had taken their seats and ordered the veggie platter and every meat option the restaurant offered.

“She’s pretty great like that. Holidays are always fun at our house. Winn, his mom, and Clark come. Jeremiah’s boss from work even stops by with his family. J’onn and his niece, M'gann are pretty awesome.”

“The entire concept of a family holiday actually spent with family...it’s so foreign to me.”

“Lena...you are family now. You don’t have to spend holidays alone anymore.”

When their food came, Kara’s mouth started to water. Everything looked so delicious. Without shame and with all her gusto, she dug into the meal. She devoured more than her fair share and she didn’t plan to apologize for it. Kara made the decision on the way over that they would split the bill so that she didn’t feel guilty about eating as much as she wanted. There was no way she would let Lena feel obligated in paying for her. She told her before that she didn’t need to buy her friendship, and she planned to adhere to that sentiment until Lena believed it.

Conversation slowed down as they ate, but they did talk about random things. Kara found herself simply enjoying the other girl’s company.

“You know, sometimes...you have like, this accent. I can’t always place it.” Kara commented as they awaited their bill.

“I think sometimes a little Irish might slip out.”

“You’re Irish?!”

Lena shook her head and rolled her eyes with a smirk. “Very funny, Kara. Like you don’t know.”

Kara stared at her in confusion which made Lena’s mouth drop open in shock.

“You really don’t know. I forget that there is someone in the world who doesn’t think they already know everything there is about me.”

“So you’re not Irish. Or you are?”

“After Lex’s trial, I got harassed in school. Bullied really. So I was sent away to a boarding school in Ireland until I graduated. It sort of helped with the paparozzi and most of the bullying...it hadn’t made it any easier to make friends though.”

The waiter came with warm towels to wash their hands with and then brought the bill to them. Kara thanked him, then opened up the black folder that held the bill. She frowned at it in confusion.

“I thought we told him to divide it in half.”

Lena chuckled. “Kara, honey. That is half.”

Kara’s eyes widened in horror.

“I...I didn’t bring enough to cover my half.” She admitted with an embarrassed blush.

Lena waved her off. “Don’t worry about it, dinner can be on me.”

“What?! No! That was the whole point. I don’t want you to think you have to spend your money on me all the time. That’s not what friends do. Well, I’ve never had a rich friend before...but normal friendships aren’t one-sided Lena.”

“Then how about this. You let me buy this time and you buy next time.”

“I’ll buy next time and I will buy you coffee and donuts all week. Deal?”

Lena rolled her eyes. “You buy next time and maybe surprise me with coffee and donuts once this week.”

“Deal! Also, frozen yogurt. But that’s more for me than you. Since I feel like I need an excuse to go there.”

Lena smirked at that and reached her hand across the table to shake on it. “Deal.”

Kara shook it eagerly. “Well, Miss Luthor, this looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

She tried her best Humphrey Bogart impersonation and knew she fell short.

“Dork.” Lena replied, but her large smile was still present.

 

SSSSSSSSSSSS

 

Sunday progressed quite slowly. All of her friends stopped by intermittently throughout the day, and she would guess that they did the same with Alex as well. But for the most part, she kept to herself and enjoyed the quiet company of Lena. She went to bed early that night, if only because she didn’t have the strength to stay up and go on with the day. The quicker she went to bed, the faster the day was over and tomorrow would be a new day.

She breezed through her first two classes on auto pilot. It was just after noon when her second class let out, so she planned to go back to her room to see if Lena was there and would be interested in getting lunch. As Kara walked down her hallway she noticed a very distraught Alex perched against the wall.

“How long were you waiting there? Did you knock? Lena might be home.” Kara didn’t know how to interact with this version of Alex.

Alex looked like a rabid dog ready to be put down. Her eyes wouldn’t settle on Kara, or anything for that matter. She ran her hands through her short auburn hair out of habit. Or anxiousness. Probably both, if Kara had to guess. Kara made slow measured steps as she closed the distance between them

“You know, I’m up all night just thinking about it. And if I’m being honest...I tried to tell you before. I wanted to every time you visited last year.”

Kara walked to the door to unlock it, she thought Alex deserved some privacy for this conversation. But as she unlocked the door, Alex continued to talk as if it didn’t register to her to leave the hallway.

“And...you remember my friend from high school, Maggie Sawyer?”

“I remember Maggie. You guys had a huge falling out, right?” Kara replied as she faced her sister again.

“We broke up.”

“Oh.” The ajar door had been forgotten as Kara struggled with how to be there for Alex, even if it was several years too late.

“And I wanted to tell you so many times. I wanted to cry about it with you…”

“Alex...”

Alex slid down the wall until she sat across the hall from Kara, but she refused to look up at her as she spoke.

“It scared me. I tried not to think about it. For years, I shoved that memory down so deep that it’s almost like it didn’t happen. I wanted it to not have happened. Not because I wasn’t over her. Or because I got my heart broken. I wanted to not be gay.”

“Alex…” Kara rushed the three steps over to Alex and sat down in front of her, their knees touched as they sat cross-legged.

Alex took a staggered breath and raised her head to look at her sister. “You’ve been weird...ever since....”

“I don’t mean to me.”

“Kara, I know when you’re sad. Or when you’re disappointed.” Her face morphed into so much anguish that Kara nearly had to look away. “I don’t know what I’d do if you were disappointed in me.”

Alex quickly looked away as the words hit Kara like a sledgehammer to the chest. She scooted around so rather than facing Alex, she sat beside her and she pulled her in to her side as she held her tightly.

“I could never be disappointed in you. But you left...you wanted space. You didn’t want to talk about it.”

“I do if you’re not okay with it!”

Kara kissed the top of Alex’s head and brushed at the tears that rolled down Alex’s cheeks. She knew her sister hated to cry. And she hated being the reason that Alex was crying.

“I think I owe you an apology.” Kara admitted, full of shame.

“For what?”

“For not creating an environment where you felt like you could talk about this with me.”

She let Alex pull away from her. Kara could feel Alex’s gaze bore into her soul, but this time she was the one unable to look at her sister.

“All those years we spent together growing up, the endless nights, talking and sharing. Now I realize that they were all about me. My pain.” She forced herself to meet Alex’s eyes. “There’s never been room for you.”

Alex wiped at her eyes and shook her head. Kara wondered if she was about to argue, but she needed to get this out.

“I know that this is not the same at all, but I do know how it feels to keep a part of yourself shut off. To keep it inside. And I know how lonely that can make you feel.” She reached over to grab one of Alex’s hands in her own, and held it firmly between both of hers. “But Alex, you are not alone.”

Alex sobbed at Kara’s words. “I can’t do this without you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“But…” Alex licked her lips and swallowed thickly. “When Winn came out...you visited me that weekend...you were so upset, I thought…”

“Winn broke my heart. I thought I was in love with him. I was in love with him.” Kara sighed. “I can tell you all of that later, but I…I was also hurt that he didn’t tell me because I thought it was something I did that made him think he couldn’t trust me with his truth. ”

“You weren’t upset about him being gay.” Alex said more to herself than anything.

They were both quiet for a few minutes, but the air didn’t feel as heavy between them anymore.

“I was terrified that you would react badly if I ever came out to you. I thought I was going to lose you, Kara. and you...you’ve always been my person. You’ve always been my best friend.”

“You’re my person, too, Alex.”

Alex rested her head on Kara’s shoulder and the blonde wrapped her arms loosely around her. She lowered her voice as to not disturb the serenity that had bestowed itself upon them.

“I always felt like there was this line I could never step over to truly belong. To feel like I actually was part of something. With Winn...I guess always read the signs wrong. With Clark...we both lost so much, but I remembered my parents and he didn’t remember his. Not that his loss was any less significant than mine, just that we grieved differently. He grieved over what he never got to experience, and I grieved over what would never be again. And with you…”

“My secret kept you at a distance, I know that. It didn’t mean I loved you any less.”

Kara sighed. “That’s what I’m trying to say Alex. All this time, I thought there was something wrong with me. Something that kept people at a distance. Kept me from being part of something. But I was wrong. You were all there the whole time...I just didn’t let myself see what I had, because I think I’ve always been scared to get too close to anyone again. I have been terrified of losing you, too, Alex.”

Kara felt Alex’s hand rest on her knee and it calmed her. It was the comfort she needed. She knew she had never been as alone as she always thought she was. And she knew that she and Alex would always be okay.

They sat alone in the hallway for a long time, nothing else needed to be explained or hashed out. Finally, they had crossed that invisible line. And Kara knew that as much as Alex may have been worried about things changing between them, she had been right that things would change. Their relationship was made even stronger because of how vulnerable they allowed themselves to be with each other. She only wished it didn’t take them half her lifetime.

She remembered the first time she met Alex. She was in Kindergarten and Winn invited everyone in their class for his birthday party as well as his neighbor Alex. Alex had complained the entire time, because she was “forced” to be at the party with all the “little” kids.

Kara was pulled from her thoughts when she heard a door creak. She looked up to find a guilty looking Lena Luthor standing in their doorway.

“You guys were too quiet for far too long...I thought I would check on you.” She admitted bashfully.

Kara blushed.

“How much of that did you hear?”

Lena bit her lip. “All of it?”

“All of it?”

“Until you started whispering.” Her eyes widened. “I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop or anything...it’s just that the walls are really thin and your voices tend to carry.” She dropped her gaze to Alex, who Kara now noticed was asleep in her lap. “So, she’s okay?”

Kara nodded as she stared down fondly at her sister. “She kind of amazing, isn’t she?”

Lena smiled. “You’re both lucky to have each other.”

Lena looked like she wanted to say more, but hesitated. Kara patted the floor on the other side of her.

“Come, join me. I don’t think I’ll be getting up anytime soon.”

Lena quietly made her way over to Kara and awkwardly sat beside her on the floor.

“What you said before...about having an invisible barrier keeping you from making friends. From getting close to people. I’ve always felt that way, too.” Lena admitted as she nervously fidgeted with her fingers. “But I have never felt that way when I’m with you. I wanted you to know that. Because I don’t think you created an environment that made your friends scared to come out to you. I just think you mean so much to them that they were scared of things changing between you; or as Alex said, maybe they were terrified of losing you.”

Kara shook her head with a sad smile before she removed one arm from around Alex to shove Lena playfully. “You really did hear everything, didn’t you?”

“Honestly, I’d bet half the hall heard at least some of it.”

Kara groaned.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Lena asked sincerely.

Kara started to weave her fingers through Alex’s hair as the other girl slept soundly. “I’d like to tell you a story.”

Lena adjusted her body so she more fully faced Kara and clasped her hands together in eager anticipation. She arched her eyebrow with a smirk. “Go on?”

Kara sighed and prepared herself for the monologue she was about to give. She hadn’t even told Alex the entire story from last year, but she had been dying to share it with someone. Lena in particular.

“There was this blog where kids at school could post things anonymously...I hate to admit that I was addicted to it. Anyway, start of senior year, there was a post about a closeted gay kid at school. So...okay, most of this is going to be second hand from Winn, so please bear with me.”

Lena nodded in acknowledgement.

“Winn, who also was not out yet, anonymously emailed the guy. They shared their secrets and also just day to day stuff. Winn started to fall for the guy, wondering who it could be. He started to try to find him at school, pick apart the clues. But everyone he thought it could be turned out to be wrong. Eventually, he couldn’t take the anonymity of it anymore and performed this grand gesture of coming out on the blog and announcing that he had fallen in love. He said that if the other guy were ready, that me could find him at the school carnival atop the Ferris Wheel. And he waited, all night, he rode that thing until just before closing. But finally, Clark showed up. He was more scared of losing Winn than he was of coming out.”

Kara glanced at Lena, who was smiling.

“Wow, that’s so cute.”

“As you heard, I didn’t initially have the best reaction to his coming out.” Kara admitted quietly. She was still ashamed of how she reacted.

“Because you were in love with him.” Lena stated matter-of-factly.

“Winn said he knew he was gay when he was thirteen, about the time I came to live with Alex. It was easy for him to hide it back then, because he wanted to help me through losing my parents. Clark knew he was gay when he was ten, and had a crush on Winn since we all turned sixteen.”

“And Alex?”

“I don’t know when she first realize it. But she had a girlfriend when she was a junior.” Kara looked down at her sister again. “I think the reason I was so upset about Winn and Clark getting together at first wasn’t so much that I was in love with Winn, although I thought it was the reason at the time. I think I was scared of losing two of the most important people in my life, because I wasn’t sure how much more I was going to survive losing.”

Lena nodded. “That’s understandable.”

“Then I got upset at myself because I had somehow made their coming out about myself.”

“Kara.” Lena chastised. “You had a right to be scared. Your feelings were valid even though you didn’t express them the correct way.”

Kara shrugged. “I also was kind of jealous. Part of me wishes I could have what they have. Sure I’d love their epic love story, but I’d settle for being loved.”

“You are loved, Kara. So much.” Lena reached across Kara’s lap and rested her hand atop of Kara’s. “I always thought I wanted that, too. But the fact that I am even capable of loving another person is enough for me.”

Kara’s eyes widened with terror. “Are you kidding me, Lena?! You are not going to just settle for knowing that you are capable of falling in love...maybe I won’t get my epic love story, but Lena Luthor, you will get yours!”

Alex shifted in her sleep which made Kara realize she had just screamed in the middle of the hallway.

“I can play your matchmaker. What’s your type?” Kara asked as she tried to stifle her excitement at the opportunity to make her friend happy.

Lena groaned in response.


	2. Chapter 2

The next afternoon between classes, Kara went back toward her dorm room. When she reached her door, she saw a small box on the ground in front of it. She bent down to inspect it and found that it was heavier than it looked. She shook it and the sound of something rattling around inside made her curious. It was addressed to her after all; with a simple card on the top of the unwrapped box. Only her name was written in a large fancy scrawl. 

Her tongue slipped out the side of her mouth as she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. It wasn’t her birthday for another several months. She took a deep breath and held it as she slowly peeked in the box. Confusion remained.

Why had someone given her a jar filled with multi-colored stones?

She pulled the jar from the box and a letter floated to the floor. She set the empty box down and exchanged it for the letter. It was a single sheet of paper with only a few lines typed on it.

_ You rock my world. _

_ I hope this gift makes you “hoppy.” _

_ -Your Secret Admirer _

 

She couldn’t help smiling at the pun. A jar of rocks. She knew it was cheesy, but she also happened to really enjoy cheesy. As she attempted to put the jar back in the box, she noticed an origami frog that she didn’t see before.

“Hoppy.” She said with a wide smile. “I have an admirer. And he’s a giant dork.”

She shot a quick text to Alex and then picked up the box so she could take it to her room. She couldn’t wait to tell Lena all about it as well. 

Kara could barely contain her excitement until Alex arrived. She knew Lena kept looking at her strangely, but she couldn’t help it. She rocked up and down on the balls of her feet and rubbed the underside of her right wrist with her left thumb. Her thumb glazed over the tattoo she got there several months ago and she smiled at the memory. Instantly, she felt calm again.

After she let out a long, ragged breath, she forced herself to stand still. She looked up and noticed that Lena’s eyes were on her. 

“I promise it isn’t anything bad. I’m just really excited.” Kara explained which only made Lena nod slowly. “I want to show you so badly, but I know Alex will kill me if I don’t wait for her.”

Lena smiled. “We can’t have that, now can we.” 

Kara watched as Lena closed her textbook and lay it on the bed beside her; then she sat so her feet dangled off the bed and folded her hands primly in her lap. Even in this semi-casual state, Lena was poised and well-refined. It was as adorable as it was out of place. 

“What?” Lena asked with a quirked eyebrow that told Kara she got caught staring.

She blushed but rather than looking away, she cleared her throat and admitted the truth about what she had been thinking. “I just...you’re adorable...but like in a classically beautiful way.”

Her eyes widened when she saw that Lena was now flushed.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t…” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “It’s true and I meant it, I just hadn’t planned to say that last part out loud. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Lena.”

Lena smiled at her with a look of genuine adoration in her eyes, and Kara no longer regretted her embarrassing rambling.

“Please don’t apologize for saying what’s on your mind, Kara. It’s rather refreshing to not have everyone guard their words around me.”

Before Kara could humiliate herself any further, there was a knock on her door. In her rush to not only escape the awkwardness but also to greet who she presumed was Alex, she stumbled over her own feet and nearly face-planted into the desk before righting herself.

“I meant to do that.” She mumbled as she hurried to the door in mortification.

She yanked it open and was ecstatic to see Alex on the other side of the door. Instead of a proper greeting, Kara grabbed Alex’s arm and yanked her inside.

“Geez, Kara, ow…” Alex ripped her arm away from her sister’s grasp. “If I had known you were going to assault me, I would’ve stayed home.”

Kara rolled her eyes at her sister’s scowl. Without further explanation, she playfully shoved her sister toward her bed.

“Take a seat, I have something to show you!”

Alex glanced around the room nervously. Her eyes met Lena’s briefly before she shrugged and then folded her arms across her chest.

“I'll stand, thank you.”

Not to be deterred, Kara swiftly glided to her desk and grabbed the box she recently received. She took the lid off with reverence before she pulled out the jar of stones triumphantly.

“Look what I got!” She announced with merriment.

“Rocks?” Alex narrowed her eyes. “Stones? You forced me to come all the way over here, for this?”

Kara looked from an irritated Alex to an amused Lena. She decided to focus her attention on the latter, because she seemed to be a far better audience.

“Sure, it’s just a jar of stones to you guys.... but ….” She purposely dragged out her sentence. “It also happens to be from a secret admirer.” No longer able to contain her excitement she yelled. “I have a secret admirer! Someone noticed  me.  Someone likes  me.”

Lena’s expression morphed from that of amusement into that of sadness. “Of course someone likes you, Kara. You’re wonderful.” 

Kara rolled her eyes at Lena. “You’re supposed to say stuff like that, you’re my friend.” She turned toward Alex, who now studied her with rapt attention. “Say something.”

“But it’s just a bunch of different colored stones. How is that romantic?”

Kara smiled hand handed Alex the note that accompanied the gift. She watched as Alex read it.

“Okay, that’s kind of cute in a cheesy way.” Alex admitted as she turned the note around in her fingers. “But the whole ‘hoppy’ thing I don’t understand.”

Kara pulled the origami frog out of the box and tossed it to Alex. She smiled when she saw Alex’s face quirk into a sly smirk.

“A little cheesy for my taste but I can see why you’re eating it up.”

Kara couldn’t contain her excitement any longer. “I have a secret admirer and he’s cheesy and witty and really talented.”

She fell on her bed beside her sister with a happy sigh and missed the knowing look Alex gave Lena. Kara also missed the way Lena pointed refused eye contact, or the way her shoulders deflated as soon as Kara announced that her secret admirer was a He.

Kara sat up quickly and practically hopped up and down on the bed. “And don’t you see...as a journalism major, this can be my first real investigation. I can take notes, interview suspects and…”

“Kara, slow down. You could just enjoy the beginning of  your  very own epic love story.” Alex replied as an attempt to rein her in a little bit.

“You’re right.” She exhaled deeply. “But...do you have any leads for me to follow? Who do you think it could be?” She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her ankles. Then she rested her chin on her knees. “You’ve been quiet about all of this, Lena, what are your thoughts?”

Lena glanced at her and furrowed her brows together in concentration. “I don’t know. I think it’s really cool that you have someone, Kara. Regardless of who it turns out to be, isn’t most of the fun in the anonymity of it all? Just enjoy the ride, like Alex said. That way you won’t get disappointed.”

“Disappointed? How could I ever be disappointed?” Kara wondered honestly. 

The fact that anyone was interested in her at all was a wonderful thing, why did it matter who it turned out to be? It didn’t matter, did it?

Lena shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess, I’m just used to being disappointed. I guess you have nothing to worry about then, Kara.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Kara caved from the newness of it all and practically skipped to her desk to grab a notebook. She wrote down her first couple of suspects.

 

_ Barry _

 

_ James _

 

She studied the names she wrote down and considered each of them. If she had to choose, she’d prefer it to be Barry. At least, she believed that she would. But she wouldn’t rule either of them out until she properly investigated them both. And what better time to do so than at the first GSA meeting tomorrow night.

The next afternoon, Kara waited for Lena far longer than she should have because now she was about to be late to the club meeting and she hated being late. When she finally arrived, out of breath from sprinting there, Alex, Lucy and Sam greeted her.

Alex looked at her watch with disappointed. “You’re late.”

“We’re still five minutes early.” Kara argued.

“But five minutes later than we planned on meeting here.” Alex countered.

“I was waiting for Lena, but she must have been running late. And she didn’t answer my texts so I feel bad for just ditching her. Anyway, I’m here now.”

She frowned when she watched Lucy and Alex share a look. The look meant that they both knew something she didn’t and she hated the feeling of being left out.

“Lena’s not coming, sis.” Alex told her.

“What? Why?”

Lucy glanced around to make sure they were alone so that no one could overhear them.  

“You know who her brother is, right?”

Kara nodded with irritation. “What does it matter who her brother is? Lena is kind and thoughtful and nothing like him.”

Lucy held up her hands in surrender. “I agree, Kara. I’m just saying…” She sighed almost regrettably. “You know he killed a lot of people, but maybe you don’t realize that he also was a raging homophobe.”

Kara bit her lip. She could see how hard this topic was for Lucy to talk about and also noticed how uncomfortable her sister had gotten. “Ok. I get it. You guys don’t feel comfortable with her around, but she’s my friend and I…”

Alex cut her sister off abruptly. “Hey, it’s not like that. We all adore Lena.” Alex touched her sister’s shoulder gently. “Lena hand wrote each of us an apology for not attending and she talked to each of us individually to make sure we understood that she knew some of the students in the club would not trust or want a Luthor around. She hated the fact that her presence might make others feel unsafe.”

“She knows how important it is for us to feel safe and comfortable exploring ourselves and would never want to take away from that, or to taint the club and its importance with any of her baggage.” Lucy added. “Besides, we know she’s not homophobic like her brother. She’s spent the last several years donating to the Human Rights Campaign and the Trevor Project; sure they were anonymous donations but who else has that much money to just give away.”

Kara tried to process everything they told her.

“I hate that she still feels like she has to pay for the sins of her brother. She didn’t do anything wrong and continues to get punished for it.” Sam stated with a frown. “Kara’s right, she’s sweet and generous and far too kind. And instead of spending the night with her friends and supporting everyone, she is in some kind of self-induced exile.”

“Hey, guys! You going in or what?” Sara asked as she sidled up to them with a bunch of their other friends in tow.

Kara tried to be positive and supportive that night, but it was hard to get out of her own head. She couldn’t help worrying about Lena Luthor, the martyr.

When the meeting ended, Lucy and Kara found themselves walking back to their dorm together. The rest of the group had already scattered.

“I hate that Lena didn’t come. I get her reasons and everything, and I even respect her for choosing to stay away to make it feel safer for others. But she has just as much reason to be there as any of the rest of us. I don’t think even I would be comfortable being out at school if it wasn’t for everything she had done for the community as a whole. Lena Luthor is a huge gay icon and she has a right to be out and proud like the rest of us.”

Kara tripped over her own feet. “Wh--what?”

Lucy laughed as she rolled her eyes. “You can’t tell me you didn’t know that Lena is like the gayest person at school. Like  really really  gay.”

“I…”

“I mean, it’s not like any of us actually talk about it. It’s sort of this unspoken truth we all know. And she’s never actually said the words, it’s just...” Lucy looked at her sincerely. “I mean, how hard does it have to be on that poor girl to have her brother be the most homophobic douchebag in the world while she’s stuck living in the closet? It may be a closet in a big ass mansion, but it still would be lonely.”

Kara frowned. “I guess if it’s true, yeah, that would be really lonely.”

“It’s true.”

“And if it is.”

“It is.”

“She wouldn’t want your pity, Lucy. She deserves more than that.”

“She sure does. I don’t pity her, Kara. I understand her.” She pointed to herself. “Daughter of a General remember. Don’t ask, Don’t tell.”

“Right.”

“I know how scary it can be to reveal that part of yourself to someone, but also how liberating it can be to finally not have to hide who you are. I wish she knew she could talk to us. We have the GSA, but we also have each other. And Lena is still stuck in the most terrifying part of it all: when you finally have your first real crush, but can’t actually do anything about it because you’re so terrified to let yourself have what you really want.”

“Crush? Lena likes someone.”

Lucy raised an eyebrow in question. “You mean, if she’s a giant lesbian…”

Kara bit her lip and blushed. “Right, yeah.”

“Come on, Kara. You wear glasses, how can you be so blind?”

Kara took her glasses off and examined them as she bit her lip. “Well, I mean...I am far-sighted.”

Lucy burst out laughing and shook her head. “That actually makes total sense. Never change, Kara Danvers, never change.”

Kara was silent after that, as she contemplated what she may have just learned about her friend. It didn’t matter one way or another to her. All Kara cared about was being supportive of Lena irregardless if she turned out to be gay or not. Lucy hugged her as they parted ways. As soon as Kara opened the door, Lena stood to greet her.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t respond to any of your messages earlier. I only got them an hour ago, but then you were in the club meeting and I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Maybe Lena was going to say more, but Kara didn’t let her finish. She wrapped her in a hug and pulled her body close to hers.

“Lena Luthor, you’re kind of awesome.” She breathed out in absolute awe.

Kara heard Lena’s sharp intake of breath and felt Lena’s heartbeat against her own chest. She wasn’t sure if Lena was a hugger and felt bad for not giving the poor girl advance notice to say so. When she pulled away, she saw Lena swallow harshly.

“I think I’ll have to take your word for it.” Lena mumbled barely above a whisper.

Kara rolled her eyes. “And modest to a fault.”

“Why are you complimenting me? And hugging me.” Lena asked then quickly added, “Not that I’m complaining.”

“Alex and Lucy told me about why you didn’t come tonight and how you took the time to talk to each of them about it.”

“Alex and Lucy have big mouths.” Lena replied but there was no real malice to it.

“You don’t owe me an explanation and maybe they should have shown more discretion. I was just waiting for you and wondered why you weren’t there. So they told me.”

Lena sat down on her bed, but her eyes never left Kara’s. “Honestly, I didn’t think you’d miss me, since all of our friends were there.”

Kara sat down on her own bed, she tucked her feet underneath her and gently massaged the underside of her wrist as per her usual nervous habit.

“I really appreciate your friendship, Lena. You’ve quickly become someone very important to me. And I know sometimes that it’s hard to trust me, or anyone at all. So whatever you choose to share with me or not share, I want you to know that I will gladly accept whatever you give me. Big or small. And I won’t tell anyone anything we talk about.”

Lena toyed with her fingers as her mouth formed a straight line and the look of determination overtook her features.

“At first...our first week here, I have to admit that I kept waiting for the tabloids to have some sordid story about poor, pathetic friendless Lena Luthor. And a part of me expected an article about me following in the homophobic footsteps of Lex when I told our friends why I refused to go to the GSA meeting to support them. And for self-preservation, I know I probably shouldn’t trust any of you or be so forthcoming with any of the information I’ve already given you. But for the first time in my life, I want to share. I want to open up. And I do sincerely and completely trust you, Kara.”

Kara grinned at the speech. She had to admit, the beginning of the explanation made her feel a bit self-conscious. She feared Lena didn’t trust her, but now she knew that she did. And she understood the importance of Lena admitting as much to her.

“I promise not to take for granted the trust you put in me.” Kara told her honestly.

Lena studied her shyly. “I actually want to apologize for ever doubting you. The first time I talked about myself with you, I actually searched the tabloids to see if you leaked anything. But weeks passed and nothing happened nor do I expect it to, and the thought that I once did makes me feel so guilty. I thought of buying you an ‘I’m Sorry’ gift but you keep telling me not to try to buy your friendship.”

“I would have been more disappointed that you thought you still needed to buy me off than I think I am that you didn’t trust me to begin with. I understand your hesitation, Lena. Please never apologize to me for trying to protect yourself. Just know that you don’t have to protect yourself from me.”

“Why do you do that?”

“What?”

Lena pointed to Kara’s hands and the blonde looked down to see what her friend had been looking at.

“I’ve noticed you rub your tattoo a lot…the one on your wrist.” Lena explained.

“I do?” She knew it was a nervous habit, but hadn’t realized that Lena noticed she did it.

“You don’t have to tell me, especially since I haven’t always been forthcoming with you, I just, I wondered is all.”

Kara stood up and walked the few steps to Lena’s bed. Then she sat down beside her. She held up her hand in an awkward sort of high five that made Lena raise an eyebrow in question.

“What do you see?” Kara asked, referring to her tattoo.

Lena’s eyes raised to read it. “Life.”

Kara dropped her eyes down and extended her palm so it faced Lena. The other girl’s eyes widened and she smiled slightly as she breathed, “Beautiful.”

Kara smiled and asked even though she knew that Lena already understood. “And what’s it say now?”

“Death.” Lena hesitantly reached out and stroked Kara’s wrist so lightly that it tickled. “It’s an ambigram.”

Kara nodded. “As soon as I turned eighteen, I got this tattoo. I wanted something permanent because everything kept changing. Alex had been off to college. I would be graduating soon. Everything with Winn and Clark just happened and I was so sure things between all of us would change...that they would end.”

She absent-mindedly attempted to rub her tattoo only to caress Lena’s fingers instead. They both jumped apart awkwardly.

“Things change far too quickly. Life. Death. Everything in between. This reminds me to live in the moment. To enjoy the now. But, some days are easier than others and I guess I…” She realized that she was rubbing her wrist again and smiled self-consciously. “I guess it became a habit. When I get anxious or whatever, and I didn’t realize how often I do it.”

Lena gave her a half smile and then shrugged. “I just notice things.”

Their eyes met for a few seconds before they both looked away. Lena cleared her throat. 

“Thank you for sharing that with me. For trusting me.”

Instead of rubbing at her wrist again, Kara reached over and grabbed one of Lena’s hands in both of hers. “I’ll always trust you.” She met Lena’s eyes and smiled. “That’s what friends do after all.”

She could have sworn the brightness in Lena’s eyes dampened, but she promised herself that she would try not to dwell on it. Lena trusted her after all. And that meant they were well on their way to becoming great friends. Maybe Lena could even be her best friend.

 

SSSSSSSSSS

 

 

Over the course of the next week, in between classes or after hanging out with friends or doing homework, Lena and Kara spent extra time getting to know each other. Lena always had questions that Kara was more than willing to answer. Kara never felt interesting until Lena was interested in knowing every little thing about her. And to Kara’s surprise, Lena willingly answered any questions Kara asked her as well.

Kara tried to be respectful and kept the questions basic and random. So far she learned that Lena needed to watch far more bad nineties movies. She couldn’t wait to introduce her to random junk food like fried Oreos and Rootbeer Floats. Plus, she already downloaded a bunch of songs Lena had mentioned in passing. There were also things she observed about the other girl that she had committed to memory. Lena would never admit to it, but she did this cute little snore thing when she was in a deep sleep. And somehow, she always slept the same way--on her back with one arm over her face. Not that Kara really noticed something like that, because that would be creepy. She shook her head to force the thought of a sleeping Lena out of her mind.

All the time they spent together made her feel protective of Lena moreso than she initially did. Kara hated that Lena still refused to attend the GSA club meetings; so after it ended that night, she invited the group back to her room to spend time with Lena. Lucy, Ava, Sam, and Alex were the only ones able to make it.

They sprawled out on the two beds. Ava, Sam and Alex on one Lucy, Lena and Kara on another. Lucy filled Lena in on what she missed, because even though she refused to attend she still wanted to hear about it. To be supportive.

“Our group was even bigger this time. A few players on the soccer team were there. And one of the kids in my Ethics class. It’s growing. Sure, most of them are still from our group. I love that we’ve gotten all aspects of the rainbow. And all spectrums of gender and sexuality. I’ve been doing a lot of additional research on topics that we can discuss and tonight we had a good roundtable discussion about what we want to achieve as a group.”

“That’s really great, Lucy. I know how important inclusiveness was to you.”

“I do have to say, there’s a lot I’ve already learned. I honestly didn’t know about some of the topics addressed tonight.” Ava added. “Iris said her brother, Wally, identifies as nonbinary and bisexual. And a few other of our members also prefer gender neutral pronouns.”

“I was blown away by the concept of polyamory, if we’re being honest. I didn’t realize that could really be a thing, so it was really interesting to hear about.” Kara admitted. 

Lena raised an eyebrow at that, but said nothing.

“There is also someone who is pre-transition. And several transgender attendees. It’s a better turn out than I dared to hope for. And to know that we have awesome allies around campus as well. Iris and Barry have been wonderful. And Kara, you are great. Perfect even.”

Kara frowned and thought about it. Somehow the label of ally didn’t sit right with her. She never liked to think about herself in terms of labels because they were too daunting and also she hated that other people limited you based on said labels. Lesbian or Bisexual didn’t feel quite right but neither did straight. 

“Kara?” Lena asked as she studied her intently. “You’re straight, aren’t you?”

Kara felt all eyes on her and blushed under the duress. She shrugged in response.

“It’s okay to not know, Kara.” Alex told her as she wrapped her hand around her shoulder. “I...I don’t know how I ever thought you would judge me for being gay. You have always been in love with love.” Alex tilted her head. “And I just remembered that you and M’gann have kissed under the mistletoe every year since you were fifteen.”

Kara ducked her head in embarrassment. “I never thought much about that. Although, I don’t think I ever told you but Felicity and I got married when we were in Kindergarten. We picked flowers for each other and everything. That was my longest relationship. It only ended because in second grade she decided that she wanted a boyfriend instead. Stupid Oliver.”

Lena, Lucy, Ava, and Sam continued their silence as they studied the blonde.

“So...if you aren’t straight…” Lucy ventured, but deliberately trailed off so Kara could finish the sentence.

“I never thought about it really, nor do I actually prescribe to labels. How can I announce to the world what I am if I don’t have a clue myself?”

“Take all the time you need, Kara.” Lena told her.

“And if you want to talk through it with anyone, or if you have any questions; we’ve all been there. Well, most of us.” Lucy told her kindly. 

Kara nodded and smiled at them. “Thank you.” 

“Where’s Sara tonight? Nyssa again?” Alex seemed to take pity on her, and Kara was grateful when the conversation got redirected. 

Ava shrugged nonchalantly, but her face told a different story. “I think this time it is that guy, John. I think he’s a friend of Barry’s.”

“Sorry, Ava. That’s rough.” Lucy responded. “It sucks to have feelings for someone who doesn’t return them.”

“Yeah. It is.” Ava admitted sadly. 

Kara hated seeing her friend look so sad, and wanted to do or say anything she could to cheer her up so she decided to change the subject abruptly.

“Oh, guys, I forgot to tell you!” Kara blurted out. “I found a twenty dollar bill in the parking lot yesterday. And I debated on picking it up, because it wasn’t mine. But I was hungry, so I did grab it and I bought sushi. And I got really sick afterwards. Like...you know. Anyway. I’m pretty sure it was karma. And my stomach has still been in knots and I just really needed to get that off my chest.”

Everyone in the room started to laugh which made her frown. “Hey.”

“Kara, sweetie, I’m pretty sure it was not karma. I think it was guilt.” Lena told her.

“Or bad sushi?” Sam suggested.

“Really?”

“If it makes you feel better though, we could go donates some blankets to the homeless shelter downtown. That way you could cover your bases and help someone stay warm.” Lucy suggested.

Kara’s eyes lit up. “Yes! It’s nearly fall and it will get cold soon.”

They fell into easy conversation after that. It had become a nightly occurrence for the six of them. Sara joined them often, unless she had a date. Kara missed her alone time with Lena, but was continuously happy with her roommate’s progress. Lena started to open up to them more and more. She did much better in smaller groups. Sometimes, Lucy stayed later than everyone else because she didn’t want to go to her own room right away, but she also refused to stay the night because she didn’t want to burden them.

Those nights were Kara’s favorite because Lucy and Lena had quickly become her favorite people. She started to make a mental list of things she had learned about Lucy as well. She took shop class in high school and also signed up for something similar in college, because “fuck gender roles.” Her big sister, Lois, was her hero and she missed her a lot (ever since she became a globe-trotting reporter). She loved to read almost as much as Lena did. She took dance class for fifteen years, but also knew Krav Maga.

She had an easy way about her that Kara admired, maybe she even envied it a little. Lucy had a warm smile and her entire face lit up when she talked about things she felt passionate about, such as: dance, social justice, friends and family. She was as smart as Alex and maybe almost, Lena. But Lucy really only revealed her intelligence when she wanted to win (or start) an argument or board game. Otherwise, she was fine with people under-estimating her because she knew she was the smartest person in the room. She was super competitive. And even though no one would ever accuse her of being a teacher’s pet, she always got Straight-A’s (according to Lucy, that was the only thing straight about her).

After the latest GSA meeting, Kara told Lucy to head back to her room without her because she wanted to check in with Ava. Lucy ran off after hugging her and Ava, then the two blonde’s walked quietly toward their group’s special oak tree. 

"I guess I'm just unlucky." Ava told Kara as they settled underneath the oak tree to talk.

"Unlucky, how?"

"I'm not a casual person. I think I'm cursed to love one person so much it almost kills me." Ava told her sadly as she played with a blade of grass.

"Sara....?" Kara prodded. 

"We went to high school together. She's my best friend." 

"I've been there." Kara sighed. "I think it was easier for me to get over it though, with Winn being gay. But knowing that Sara is bisexual...I guess it would be harder because there could always be that possibility."

"You know, she wanted to be my roommate this year. But I had to tell her I didn't want to. I don't think I'd be able to survive if I actually had to witness all of her...dalliances."

"Does she...have you told her how you feel about her?"

Ava shrugged. "She seems to think she doesn't deserve me, or anything real for that matter. Which is ridiculous. Or maybe she's just scared. I don't know."

They settled into a brief silence for a moment. Kara picked a blade of grass and rolled it between her fingers before she tossed it to the side. She steadied her breath and spoke. "When you said that you weren't a casual person, you were talking about sex, right?"

Ava nodded. "I've never been able to do what Sara does. I don't have it in me."

Kara gnawed on her bottom lip nervously. "Do you...like sex?"

Ava's eyes widened and she looked at Kara. "Yes, I enjoy it. When I'm in a relationship with someone I love."

"Oh." Kara looked disheartened.

The other blonde's eyes softened as she regarded her friend. She gently rested her hand on Kara's arm. "Sex isn't for everyone, Kara. It doesn't have to be something you feel forced to do, even if you're in a relationship."

Kara looked at Ava with pleading eyes. "Really?" She glanced around to make sure no one was eavesdropping or within hearing distance. "I don't think it's something I want in a relationship. Or at all. Every time I try to imagine it...it's like my mind doesn't let me go there. I just can't seem to get passed that."

"And that's okay, Kara. There isn't anything wrong with you."

"There isn't?"

Ava shook her head. "Not at all. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You deserve to feel safe and valued and anyone who doesn’t respect that about you is not someone you should waste your time on. Besides, there are a lot of things about relationships that have nothing to do with sex."

Kara considered it. "Thank you, Ava."

"Anytime. And Kara, if you ever want to talk more about what your feeling or not feeling, I'm here."

Kara smiled at her friend. "Same goes for you."

They walked back to the dorms in amicable silence and bid each other a good night. Kara went to her room. She felt lighter than she had in awhile. She was happy that it was going to be a quiet night with just Lucy and Lena.

“So Sara still has no clue that Ava is desperately into her.” Lena commented.

The three of them were currently cuddled on Kara’s bed.

“Nope. I mean, it’s like her third of fourth hook-up with Nyssa, but I don’t think it’s anything serious.” Lucy told her.

“Alex felt bad for her so she and Sam took Ava out to a movie tonight. Hopefully, it will get her mind off things.” Kara replied.

“Speaking of taking someone’s mind off things...I came out to my dad this afternoon.” Lucy said anxiously from her spot between Kara and Lena.

“And…” Kara sat up to better face her.

“About the best I dared to hope for. It was uncomfortable and he went silent. He didn’t yell at me or anything, but he also couldn’t look me in the eye. I’m pretty sure that he’ll call me in a few weeks to let me know that his plans fell through and he won’t be able to get leave for the holidays. I’m lucky Lois has been so amazing about it. And she assures me that mom would have been, too.”

Kara knew that Lucy’s mom had passed several years ago, but she never talked about it in much detail. 

“I don’t think he will disown me or that he will stop loving me. I just think that it will take time and he doesn’t have mom to reel him in and tell him to stop being an ass. He may have been in charge of thousands of soldiers, but he always bowed down to my mother. She remains the best person I have ever met.” She glanced at Kara and Lena. “But you both are definitely giving her a run for her money.”

“I, for one, am honored to be in such esteemed company.” Lena told her with a soft smile.

“Me too. But I do think you’re dad will come around. And until he does, you’re more than welcome to spend the holidays with us. Lena and Sam are coming for Thanksgiving. It’s already been decided. And of course, Clark and Winn will be there.”

“And M’gann?” Lena quirked her eyebrow.

Lucy sat up straighter. “I am curious to meet her, too.”

“She’s not coming. We talked a few days ago. She’s got a boyfriend at her university. And she wants to spend time with him so she isn’t even coming home for Thanksgiving. I guess her dad is going to go up there to visit.”

“That’s too bad.” Lena said although there was something in her voice that didn’t actually sound upset.

“Yeah, bummer.” Lucy said. “I guess I’ll just have to fill the extra seat at the table then.”

“You would’ve been welcome regardless, Lucy. You know that, right?” Kara told her honestly.

“I do.” Lucy snuggled up next to Kara again. “Is the rest of your family as perfect as you and Alex?”

“We’re not perfect. Alex is close, but I am far from it.”

“I wish you saw yourself the way we all see you.” Lena sighed. 

“I could say the same thing, Lena.” Kara replied. “But you will love Eliza. She is warm, and genuine, and she is the biggest reason I am half the person I am. And Jeremiah. He is funny, but with the dorky dad kind of humor. He is cheesy and fun. He is adventurous and charming and romantic. He still surprises Eliza with flowers and takes her out on dates. I don’t remember much about my parents anymore. Them being together, I mean. I know individually they were wonderful. But I don’t remember how they were together. So my whole concept of love and what it means to be married and happy and content...I get that from Jeremiah and Eliza Danvers.”

“And Winn and Clark with their epic romance.” Lena commented with a wry smile. 

“Did I miss something?” Lucy asked.

“They had this adorable love story already in high school. Perfect. And I guess I kind of want to find something like that someday.” Kara admitted.

“And you deserve it.” Lucy said.

They lay together in comfortable companionship. “I am sorry about your Dad, Lucy.” Lena broke the silence. “And don’t even bother dealing with Leslie tonight, just stay here.”

“Yes, you don’t deserve that, not on top of everything else.” Kara agreed.

“Oh, thank god!” Lucy groaned. “You know, she started hanging out with Sam’s old roommate, Siobhan. You would think that they’d prefer to hang in Siobhan’s empty room but no, they enjoy making my life hell.”

“Poor Lucy.” Kara mumbled as she patted the girl’s head teasingly. “Too bad you don’t have a couple of friends who told you that you could stay with them whenever you wanted to escape that horrible roommate of yours.”

“I get it. Okay? I should have taken you up on your offer ages ago.”

They settle into watching a movie together until it got far too late to keep their eyes open. Then Lena clamored off the bed and climbed into her own. Lucy immediately curled into Kara’s side and Kara enjoyed the way it made her feel safe and cared for. She fell asleep with a smile on her face.

After that night, Lucy became a constant guest at night, and shared Kara’s bed with her. Kara didn’t think it was just about her roommate situation or even her dad. Not entirely. Because Lucy was always larger than life, but when she observed her the last several days, she seemed much more than that. She seemed to settle into the routine. Lucy seemed to thrive in the new atmosphere. Maybe her roommate situation had dragged her down more than Kara suspected.

She started to observe the way Lucy lit up the room with her exuberant personality. Kara noticed how Lucy became the only other person aside from Kara, who brought  that  smile out of Lena. 

Before she was drawn back into her daydreaming, the bell rang to signal the end of class.

“Alright, what are you waiting for? Class is over, I have a life too you know.” Ms. Grant groaned as the studied filed out of her class too slow for her liking. “Kiera, come here for a minute.”

Kara was used to her misnomer by now, and knew her professor well enough to understand that it was not a request.

“Yes, Ms. Grant.” She hurried to the front of the class and stopped when she reached the woman.

Cat Grant didn’t even look at Kara as she spoke, instead she held out her hand and waved it around aimlessly. Kara eventually got the hint and shoved a stack of papers into her professor’s waiting hand.

“I completed everything you asked for and even included a bit of additional research on a related topic.” 

Cat glanced at her but her face belied no emotion. “And what? Are you expected some insulary praise? Keira, even that should be beneath you.”

Kara didn’t know why she had been singled out by their professor, but she had been doing additional work for two weeks and none of it would be attributed to her final grade. Sometimes, she wished she wasn’t so much of a people pleaser. Maybe she could ask some of her friends how to teach her to say ‘No.’ She could stand to be more assertive in her life anyway. 

Cat had finished perusing the papers Kara had given her. The older woman stood up rimrod straight and adjusted her already immaculate blazer. Kara’s eyes fell to her professor’s legs. Her skirt was business professional, but that didn’t stop several students from commenting on her wardrobe choice even in class. Apparently, teenage boys had a lot to say about the woman in front of her. And several teenage girls, if she were being honest. And honesty was always something Kara prided herself on. 

“Do you have somewhere else you’d prefer to be, Kiera? You weren’t paying attention in class today and now you’re ignoring me directly. If I had less self-confidence, I might be offended.” She waved her hand in the air and sighed. “Who am I kidding, I’m still offended. If you don’t want to be in my class anymore, Kiera, then don’t waste either of our time. I thought I saw something in you, but maybe I was wrong.”

“You’re not! I want to be here. I love your class.”

Cat smirked at her. “No one loves my class, Kiera.” She pointed at her desk where the papers Kara had given her earlier were stacked neatly. “Do you know why I have you do all this boring, additional research and still grade your actual assignments so harshly?”

Kara stared at her with wide eyes. She knew she wasn’t the best in the class, but she thought she had been doing pretty well.

“No?” Kara stated, but it sounded more like a question and she knew it.

Cat sat down at her desk and primly folded her hands together and sat them atop the stack of papers. It was a gesture that reminded her of Lena.

“You remind me a lot of myself at your age, Kiera. I see something in you. At the end of the semester, I am choosing one student from my class to intern with me over the summer. Of course, the position would likely be a glorified assistant, but it is a stepping stone. Your friend Lucy’s sister was one such student. You have heard of her.” Cat frowned. “Of course, she chose to work for my competitor, The Daily Planet, but Lois Lane is as good as they come. Even I can’t deny that.” 

She tried to hide the surprise that not only did she know that Lucy and Kara were friends, but that Cat Grant, herself, had just suggested that Kara had a chance to work for her over the summer. This was absolutely not how she had imagined the day going, but even she had never dared to dream so big.

Cat rolled her eyes. “I broke you, didn’t I? Look, you’ve done passingly well so far, so just keep up the good work, okay?”

Kara had no adequate words so she just nodded.

“And for the love of Barack Obama, could you tell that big puppy dog to quit follow you around.”

Kara frowned. Cat stood up and turned toward the door. “James Olsen, being a stalker is not at all attractive. Either get in here or go home.”

James appeared awkwardly in the doorway and refused eye contact with both women. Kara looked from him to Cat and shook her head.

She didn’t say anything else, instead she gathered up her belongings and then left in silence. Kara had already promised James that she would study with him after class; so despite the sudden awkward tension between them, she walked with him to his dorm room. He complained the whole time.

“It’s just that she’s not what I was expecting. Sure she’s brilliant, but she’s also kind of arrogant. And I don’t know, she seems unapproachable. Aren’t professors supposed to be nurturing or encouraging, and actually like their students?”

“She owns her own media empire and actually calls herself the Queen of Media. Did you really expect her to not be arrogant?”

“I don’t know.”

“She’s also an adjunct professor who only teaches two classes a semester. We’re lucky we even got in.”

James unlocked his door and followed Kara into his room. “Of course you’d defend her. Not only do you love everyone, but she also basically said you were in the running for an internship that no one else in our class is even aware of.”

“She isn’t as bad as you seem to think she is though. And we’ve already learned a lot from her.”

He shook his head and frowned. “You continue to defend her even though she calls you the wrong name and treats you like her personal assistant.”

“And maybe you’re just upset because she embarrassed you.” Kara refuted but felt guilty as soon as she saw the crestfallen look overtake his features.

Before Kara could apologize, Barry practically breezed into the room. She smiled at the easy way he carried himself. 

“Kara, you made it!” He greeted happily. “I made sure to stock up on Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, because I know they’re your favorite.”

Barry pulled the top drawer of his desk open and revealed what Kara could only describe as a treasure trove of all the best candy. Her eyes widened with glee.

“I have a bit of a sweet tooth. Even though I’m in track and consume a billion calories...I’m not technically supposed to eat this stuff.” He spoke in a stage whisper that made Kara’s smile deepen. “So I hope you’re good at keeping secrets.”

She opened the candy he offered her and shook her head with a smile. “I am terrible at keeping secrets. The worst actually. I can’t lie to save my life so people usually can read me like a book.”

Barry smirked at her as he bit into a Snickers. “That’s good to know. Truth is I can’t lie very well either. Everyone in our group knows about my secret stash.”

Kara laughed out loud. “You make it sound like you’re on drugs.”

Barry stood up and plastered the most genuinely somber look on his face. “My name is Barry Allen and I have a problem.”

Kara dissolved into giggles. Barry was so easy to talk to and she loved how they could be ridiculous and laugh about nonsense.

“What is your problem, Barry Allen?” She asked as she tried to keep a straight face.

“I am a chocoholic.”

Kara approached him and put her hand on his forearm. “As your friend, I feel like I should help you through this.” She proceeded to grab a handful of candy out of the open drawer. “I’m doing this for you, Barry. I will take one for the team and relieve you of the source of your addiction.”

He actually cackled and Kara couldn’t remember that last time she actually felt so free.

“You are truly a great friend, Kara. I am forever in your service.” The smirk on his face fell off as he stared at her seriously. “You aren’t really going to eat all my candy, are you?”

They laughed full belly laughs for the next few minutes. When she recovered, she realized that sometime along the way, James had left the room. 

“That’s weird. He just left.” Kara commented.

Barry shrugged. “I think I may take advantage of his absence. He doesn’t particularly enjoy that I love musicals.”

Kara’s eyes lit up. “So do I! I know the entire choreography and song for Singing in the Rain.”

His smile brightened the room and his eyes twinkled. “You just might be my soulmate, Kara Danvers.”

She spent the next hour laughing with Barry as they actually sang and danced to Singing in the Rain. Kara was not as surprised that he had a wonderful voice. They sounded great together and she had so much fun with him.

“We need to get our group to do karaoke.” She stated as they caught their breaths and lay on Barry’s bed.

He sat up with excitement. “That would be fantastic. We should duet, it’ll blow them all away.”

“That sounds perfect. I will try to work on setting something up.”

“Cool.” He smiled at her and she smiled back.

When she walked across campus around ten minutes later, her mind was reeling. This was the most she ever talked to Barry, one on one, and she loved every minute of it. Maybe he wasn’t her admirer, but she definitely would not be disappointed if he were.

Her mind wandered to earlier that afternoon and her conversation with Cat. Today had been a really great day. She walked into her room and Lena was dutifully at her desk studying. Lena looked up at her as she entered.

“You must have had a good day, you’re actually humming.” Lena stated as she softly closed her textbook after placing a bookmark to save the page.

That was another thing about Lena. She hated dog-earing books because she respected them far too much to deface them. She smiled as she remembered the way Lena had said those words with her badly covered Irish accent.

“Are you going to tell me what has you so happy or do you expect me to guess?” Lena asked with an accompanied eyebrow.

Kara fell on her bed wistfully. “Ms. Grant mentioned I was in the running for a competitive internship she’s offering this summer.”

“That’s great, Kara.”

“And I went to study with James but he ditched me so I hung out with Barry and we performed some showtunes.”

Lena stared at her in disbelief. “You are a literal cartoon princess, Kara.”

Kara sighed. “A cartoon princess whose prince is nowhere to be found.”

She sat up quickly as her mind replayed something Cat had said. “I think James might like me.  Like like me.”

Lena’s jaw tensed as she held eye contact with her. “Do you think he’s your secret admirer?”

Kara shook her head. “I think he might like me, but I don’t think he is my admirer.”

“And...do you like him?”

Kara thought about it. James was her friend and she liked him perfectly fine. But when she thought about kissing him, well, the truth was that she never actually thought about kissing him. And now that she did, there weren’t any butterflies. Her stomach didn’t twist in excitement. And she also couldn’t get over the fact that someone else liked her as well. Someone who took the time to gather hundreds of stones and fill a glass jar with it. Who was cheesy and just wanted her to be “hoppy.” Someone who was patient enough to take the time to make her a very detailed origami frog with little legs and even a tongue sticking out. She knew Jame wasn’t that patient. He hadn’t even been patient enough to stay in the room while she accidentally ignored him in favor of his roommate.

“James and I are just friends. I don’t like him like that.”

Lena exhaled shakily and rotated her chair back toward her desk. “Just so you know, I think you deserve far better for a suitor than Jimmy Olsen.”

Kara studied her friend and smirked. “I’m not actually sure I want to get what I deserve.”

She meant it as a joke and when she saw the small upturn of Lena’s lips, she knew her friend understood.

“Oh, and we have to go karaoking as a group sometime.” She stated before she hopped of her bed and proceeded to get ready for the night.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of the story comes from a quote from The Perks of Being a Wallflower about people accepting the love they think they deserve.


	3. Chapter 3

A week later, Kara walked down the hallway and came to an abrupt stop when she saw a box in front of her door. She practically skipped to it in her excitement. This time she didn’t even open it first, she shot Alex a text to hurry over.

Alex showed up five minutes later with Sam in tow. Alex smiled when she saw the box in her sister’s hand.

“You got another one.”

“Another what?” Sam asked as Kara opened her door and the three of them walked into the room.

“Kara’s got a secret admirer.” Alex teased.

“Awww, you do? That’s so romantic.” Sam gushed as she walked across the room and greeted Lena. “Did you know about this?”

Lena smiled. “Apparently the suitor is cheesy and quite cheap.”

Kara rolled her eyes. “Not everything can’t be purchased with money, Lena.”

Alex’s eyes found Lena’s. “Yup, you can’t buy love.”

Lena waved a dismissive hand at her and addressed Kara. “What’d you get this time?”

“I don’t know. I wanted to wait and open it with you guys.”

“Wow, that is some hardcore self-control, sis. I’m surprised you managed it.”

“I’m sort of dying inside actually, so I’m just going to…” She trailed off as she ripped into the paper. 

When the box was unwrapped, she slowly removed the cover and peeked inside. This box was larger than the first one, but not nearly as heavy. When he saw what was inside, she gasped and nearly dropped it.

Alex rushed to her side to catch it and decided to stay to assist her. She slowly pulled out the vase of origami flowers. Red and Yellow Roses, Purple and Blue Tulips, and Orange Lillies. They were intertwined with green wire that was secure inside the vase. Rather than water, the vase was filled with dozens of Hershey’s Hugs and Kisses. It was utterly adorable.

“I don’t know if it was intentional or not, but your flowers basically represent the Pride Flag. Maybe your admirer is a chick.” Alex stated curiously but let her eyes cut to Sam and Lena on the other side of the room.

Kara continued to study her beautiful bouquet of flowers. No one had ever gotten her flowers before. Not even when her parents died. She figured that they didn’t know what to give a thirteen year old girl to make her feel better. Tears pricked at her eyes unbidden, and she hated that she would never be able to share her first love with her parents. They wouldn’t be able to be embarrassingly pushy and demand pictures and grandkids and no one would walk her down the aisle.

She didn’t realize she was sobbing until she felt herself being wrapped up in Alex’s firm embrace.

“It’s about your parents, right?” She whispered. Alex always seemed to understand when her mind drifted to them.

Soon she felt more arms around her and sniffed as she looked up and met Lena’s eyes.

She felt Sam’s breath on her ear. “Losing parents is hard. I don’t think we’ll ever get over it.” 

Kara tended to agree. She had learned from Alex that Sam was also an orphan. It was something she had been meaning to discuss with the other girl. Perhaps she could form an orphaned child club. So far members to include: herself, Lena, Clark, Barry and Sam. Maybe just have a grief survivors club. That way Winn and Lucy could attend as well. 

The more she thought about her friends, the more she realized how alike they all were. Maybe that’s what drew them all together. They needed each other. Kara knew she needed all of them.

Kara reluctantly withdrew from the embrace and wiped at her eyes. “I hate that I can go from so happy and excited to a complete trainwreck in less than six seconds.”

She busied herself with uncovering what was left in the box. The only thing left inside was the card.

_ Dearest Kara, _

_ Beautiful flowers for a beautiful girl. _

_ But real flowers die,  _

_ and you deserve something that will last forever. _

_ Fondly Yours _

 

“Yeah, I hate to break it to you Kara, but Alex might be right.” Sam said with a wistful smile still etched on her face. “Your admirer is probably a girl.”

Kara played with the note with her fingers. “What makes you say that?”

“Name a dude who is half as romantic as that?” Alex demanded.

Kara shot her a look that told her she was thinking of two very specific dudes who would be just as romantic as that.

Alex rolled her eyes. “Name a  _ straight  _ guy who even knows the difference between tulips and roses.”

Kara sighed. Maybe Alex was right. Maybe she had to reconsider her options. Not that the addition of women automatically eliminated Barry from the list. She grabbed her notebook out of her desk and flipped to the first page. She erased James’s name. But added a different one underneath Barry’s.

 

_ Sara _

 

“Are you…is that a list?” Alex asked in between harsh laughter. “You have to let me see it!”

“No I don’t.” She twisted her body away from Alex’s reach.

“Come on. You owe me.”

“How do you figure?”

“I can help you eliminate some people.”

“I already eliminated James.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Of course it wasn’t him. Come on, who else do you have on the list?”

“Alex…” Kara warned. 

Alex relented at the seriousness of Kara’s tone. “Fine. But when you finally come to me with your tail between your legs, I will say that I told you so.”

It did take a few days and a lot of regret for Kara to realize that she was actually pretty bad at reading people. When she finally accepted that it could possibly be a girl as well, it made so many more interactions confuse her. Girls were hard. How did you know if a girl was straight or decidedly not straight? And how did you know a girl was flirting with you rather than just being friendly? And even if they had been flirting, did that mean that they were actually interested in you? And if they were actually interested in her, did that automatically mean they were her secret admirer?

She knew she would ultimately cave and ask for Alex’s help, but she planned to hold out until after the next gift at least. She would rather live in the land of confusion than deal with Alex and her obnoxiousness.

Kara currently sat in her room as she and Lena shared her bed and watched youtube videos of utter and ridiculous nonsense. Obviously, it had not been Lena’s idea for the evening, but she also never complained about any of Kara’s choices. The buzzing of her cellphone filled the air.

It was a message from Sam.

 

_ Please come now. I think Alex is drunk and she won’t talk to me. _

 

She didn’t even have to finish reading the plea for help before she was off her bed. “We’re going to Sam’s. Alex needs us.”

Lena didn’t protest, she simply followed her out the door and across campus. Sam opened the door immediately after the first knock.

“I got home and she was already like this.”

Kara nodded and slipped past Sam. Alex sat at her desk with her head in her hands. Empty wine glasses scattered beside her and a presumably empty box on wine sat on the floor by her feet.

“Oh, Alex, honey.” Lena cooed. “You drank the bad stuff.” She kicked gingerly at the box as if it offended her outright. “I could have called my driver and had him retrieve the good stuff from the mansion.”

Kara stared at her friend fondly. “Although it amuses me that you have a driver and a mansion...I really don’t think that’s the lesson here.”

Lena’s eyes widened and her cheeks flushed. “I know, that was just a suggestion for next time.” She bit her lip nervously. “I’m guessing that is still not helpful. I don’t know how to take care of other people, I barely take care of myself half the time. And when I am home, I do go through my fair share of wine.”

Sam led Lena by the hand and steered her over toward an empty bed. “We could get her some water and aspirin and maybe just let Kara handle it.”

Lena nodded at Sam’s suggestion and Kara redirected her attention to her sister. “What happened, sweetie?”

She massaged Alex’s scalp with her fingers and hoped it would be a comfort to her. Then she knelt down beside her sister and gently nudged her so that she could look her in the eye. Kara remained silent and planned to wait her sister out.

“I slept with Sara.”

Kara’s eyes widened and she vaguely heard something drop on the floor behind her and Sam’s and Lena’s hushed whispering. 

“You...didn’t...”

“I...I did. I did. Like...twice, I think.” Her eyes widened. “Three times?!?! What did I do? Do you know what I did?”

The hushed whispering suddenly stopped.

“Not the specifics, no.”

“I had a one night stand. But like not at night. Like now. It’s horrible.” She groaned and let her head fall back down onto the desk with a loud thump. “I’m terrible.”

Kara couldn’t help smiling at her sister’s over-reaction. It was almost adorable. It appeared that Alex wasn’t so much drunk as she was possibly hungover and embarrassed.

“You’re not terrible, Alex.”

Alex peeked up at her. “It’s such a guy thing to do...I’m a horrible, terrible guy.”

“No...Alex.” She sat back on her haunches and waited for Alex to look at her again. “You’re a healthy, single lady and as long as Sara was onboard with everything that happened...which since it happened three times, seems like she was...there is nothing wrong with it.”

She cupped her sister’s face in her hands and smiled softly at her. “You did nothing wrong.”

“I didn’t?” Alex’s face appeared so innocent.

“And Sara’s awesome.” Kara frowned. “Well, I guess I can cross her off the list of my admirer’s now.”

Something else crashed to the floor, so Kara finally glanced behind her. A broken glass and spilled water pooled at the feet of a very guilty looking Lena. She mouthed “sorry” and Kara smiled at her before she turned around and faced Alex again.

“Let’s get you to the bathroom and clean you up a bit. How does that sound?” Kara stood and coerced her sister into a standing position as well. Then she braced her from behind as Alex unsteadily walked toward the bathroom.

“We’ll clean up the mess, don’t worry!” Sam announced as the door closed.

Alex turned on the faucet at the sink and dunked her face under the stream of water. When she stood up, she ran her wet hands through her hair. Then Alex turned around and rested against the sink and took a deep, shaky breath. Kara shut the faucet off and then mirrored Alex’s position, once again determined to wait her big sister out.

“We were studying and it was obvious that Sara was having a bad day.” Alex turned to face Kara. “It’s the anniversary of her sister’s death. I...I didn’t know how to make her feel better but we got to talking and she mentioned she could really use a drink. So we made a pit stop and then ended up back here, drunk. I don’t remember who kissed who first....”

She was silent for a long time. “Do you think...did I take advantage?”

Kara glanced toward the bathroom door. She could hear Lena and Sam scrambling around on the other side, their talking was intermittent and Kara even could catch a word or two.  She really hoped that they couldn’t overhear Alex, but she knew that was likely wishful thinking. All she could hope was that their friends wouldn’t hold anything that Alex said or was about to say against her.

“I think you both were drinking and things happened. Did you talk to Sara before she left?”

Alex flushed and buried her head in her hands.

“Alex?”

“I, ah...I woke up first. And I panicked. I sort of tried to sneak out of bed and well, I fell. On my bare ass, actually. It was embarrassing. Especially since it woke Sara up and since it was my room, I couldn’t actually run away.”

“So she woke up and things were awkward and then what?”

“Well, she couldn’t get out of here fast enough.” Alex sighed. “The worst part is, I know that Ava wants her. I mean, it’s obvious she’s interested in her.”

“Have you not seen the way she trips over her own feet when Sara’s around? Or starts a fight with her just to get her attention. Or how jealous she gets when Sara even talks about her many, many conquests.” Alex continued to ramble, and then her eyes widened. “Oh, god. I’m just one of her conquests!”

“If you knew that Ava was interested in Sara, why’d you sleep with her?”

“It doesn’t mean Sara is into her, Kara.” She pointed out harshly. Then she sighed. “Also, because the person I like doesn’t like me back. And Sara was interested. Even if it was just sex.”

“Oh, Alex. There is nothing wrong with just having sex. Please don’t think I think that. But honey, you deserve someone who wants you back the same way.”

Alex smiled at her sadly. “So do you, Kara. So stop putting random gay girls on your list just because you don’t want to ask for my help.”

Kara pouted. “They’re not random.”

Alex narrowed her eyes at her sister, and Kara automatically faltered. 

“Fine. Let’s get out of the bathroom and we can discuss my colossal failure of an investigation.”

Kara opened the door to exit the room when she saw Sam and Lena awkwardly scramble around Sam’s bed, their faces flushed. She ignored what it could have meant while she got comfortable on Alex’s bed. Alex grabbed the glass of water that Sam rushed over to hand her. And then accepted the aspirin she dropped in her hand. Alex swallowed the pills with a swig of water and thanked the other girls. Then she climbed onto her own bed and snuggled into Kara.

When she was comfortable, Alex reached her arm blindly behind her and waved the other girls over. “Come join us. Now that you’ve sufficiently overheard my humiliating sexcapades, let’s tease Kara about hers.”

Sam chuckled and hopped over to join then, Lena walked slowly and sat down wordlessly. 

“Just so we’re clear, Alex is the only one having sex.” Kara’s mouth fell open and she blushed. “Unless, either of you are in which case...congrats, I guess.”

Lena smirked at that and relaxed into her spot beside Kara. Sam chuckled also as she rested her hand on Alex’s head and ran her fingers through her hair.

“I’m guessing you’re feeling better if you're able to tease your sister.” Sam commented.

“Feeling more mortyfied than hung-over. Although, next time I want to help lower my inhibitions I may take Lena up on her offer to get me the good stuff.”

“Lapse in judgement, I assure you. I am not an enabler. I just hate seeing people I care about sad.”

“Awww, a Luthor who cares.” Alex teased.

“More like, a Luthor with a heart.” Lena grinned back.

Kara silently studied their easy banter and their lazy smiles. A part deep inside of her coiled anxiously as she wondered if Lena was the girl Alex was crushing on, and what it meant for all of them.

“Um...so did you guys know about Ava’s apparently huge crush on Sara?” Kara through the words out awkwardly out into the room.

“Um, yeah, Kara.” Sam laughed. “Anyone with eyes can see it.”

Lena burst out laughing. “Except for Sara  _ and  _ Kara apparently.”

“I mean, how obvious is it really?” Kara pouted.

Kara felt Lena’s fingers weave their way through her hair and had to force herself not to sigh with contentment.

“Kara’s just upset that she has to cross another person off her list of possible suitors.” Alex chirped and grinned up at Kara.

“How is the search coming along, Kara?” Sam asked.

“So far, apart from eliminating Sara tonight, I also eliminated Amaya and Zari from my Women’s Studies class. And Vasquez, who apparently is a forward for our soccer team.”

“From what I’ve heard, Vasquez is quite forward.” Alex replied with a smirk.

That was the understatement of the century. The memory of her very obvious flirtation caused Kara to blush even now.

“Someone’s blushing...Kara...is there something you need to tell your big sister?” Alex asked as she dropped her smirk and eyed Kara intensely.

Kara felt Lena stiffen behind her and the hands that threaded through her hair stopped abruptly.

“I do think that my admirer is a girl and I am actually excited about that prospect.” Kara admitted quietly.

Alex maneuvered herself so she faced Kara more directly. “Whatever you are or whatever you’re not. I will always love you, got it?”

Kara smiled at her and then her eyes met Sam’s and the brunette smiled at her as well.

“That’s what college is for, right? To figure all that stuff out.” Sam said.

“Won’t you have to figure it all out before then...because what...what if it is a girl? What would you do?” Lena asked hesitantly.

Kara shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I figured that I’d fall for whoever it is by the time I ever figure it out...so who it is really shouldn’t matter, right? Love is love.”

Everyone in the room was silent after that and Kara couldn’t help feeling like once again she had missed something. Something probably big. She considered telling them about the conversation she had with Ava about who she might be and what it might mean. But she wasn’t ready yet.

“Do you ever feel weird?” She asked into the silence.

“Weird, how?” Alex asked as she burrowed herself further into her sister.

“I feel like I’m always on the outside. Even when I’m surrounded with all of my friends...even now…I feel like I’m stuck watching everyone else have fun. Like there’s this invisible line I have to cross to fit in and I don’t know how to do it.”

Silence enveloped them. Alex stared at her awkwardly. Sam rested her hand on Kara’s shoulder and then she brought it up and palmed her cheek with a look akin to adoration on her face. Distantly, she felt Lena embrace her from behind.

“I understand that feeling, Kara. I’ve been there.” Sam told her honestly. “But ever since I met you, ever since I met each of you...I belong. I can’t explain it. But it’s true. I don’t feel that invisible line separating me from everyone else anymore.”

“When I finally came out to you...when I finally let myself....be myself…” 

Alex grabbed Kara’s hand and kissed her palm. Then she reverently kissed the tattoo on her wrist. Alex knew the significance of that tattoo. And somehow, that simple gesture helped her feel better. Maybe she had read into things that weren’t there. Maybe she was just being weird.

Suddenly, Kara felt Lena’s breath more than she heard it. She hadn’t realized how close Lena was to her until she felt her friend’s lips move against the shell of her ear. “I felt that way my whole life Kara, until now. Until I met you.”

The four of them lay entangled in each other on a bed that barely fit one person comfortably. But none of them dared to move and break the spell that fell over them. Kara was sure that a lot of things changed that night, she just wasn’t sure what it all meant. 

Of course, it was Kara’s appetite that made them all well aware of the time. And just like that, the spell had broken and they tore themselves apart. They walked together toward the cafeteria. It wasn’t until they almost reached the doors, that they saw Sara, Ava and Lucy walk toward them.

Alex stopped abruptly which made Kara giggle. Even Sam and Lena hadn’t been able to hold a straight face.

“Oh...hey, Alex.” Sara greeted awkwardly. “How’s your butt?”

Alex closed her eyes in mortification and Kara’s mouth dropped open in shock at Sara’s bravado. Lucy looked from Sara to a newly traumatized Alex and she started to laugh as well.

“No, fucking way! How’d I miss that?” Lucy wondered in between breaths.

Sadly, Ava appeared to be the only one who still hadn’t figured it out. 

“Miss what?”

Lucy realized her error and quickly grabbed Ava by the shoulder. “Nothing. Just catch up with us when you’re finished, Sara.” Before she led Ava away completely, Lucy leaned toward Kara and gave her a brief hug then did the same thing to Lena. “I don’t think I’ll make it tonight.” She glanced around the group. “See you all later.”

Lucy practically shoved Ava along but the blonde had noticeably become angry with the brunette. The entire scene amused Kara to no end.

“I wanted to apologize for today, Alex. Not that I didn’t enjoy it, because I absolutely did. You’re beautiful.” 

“I ah…we’re just going to…” Sam yanked on Lena’s hand and dragged her away.

Kara had been about to follow them, but Alex grabbed her hand in an iron grip, so she thought it was best to stay in place.

“I am a disaster.” Sara lowered her voice. “I’m damaged.”

“No, you’re not.” Both Kara and Alex said at the same time.

Sara ignored them and powered through her speech. “I’m sorry that I got you mixed up in all of it, Alex. I hope you don’t think I used you…” She sighed and looked completely broken. “Maybe I did.”

Alex reached for her, but Sara stepped away. “No more than I used you. I was worried you’d hate me because I thought with you being so sad today and then also us getting drunk...I didn’t want you to think I took advantage.”

“I’d never think that, Alex. You’re a great person.” Sara smiled and then smirked. “Almost as great as your sister is.”

“You do not get to flirt with my sister. I draw the line at that.” Alex demanded.

Sara smiled and raised her hands in surrender.

“I’m standing right here, you know. I can speak for myself.” Kara stated with frustration.

“Just because you started questioning your sexuality, that does not mean I will condone random sex with my exes.”

Sara raised an eyebrow at Alex’s statement. “I want to address the whole Kara maybe being into girls thing in a minute...but Alex, I mean...we never dated. We weren’t…”

Alex flushed. “I know.”

The blonde nodded then let her gaze wander to Kara. “So...you might bat for my team huh?”

Kara smirked at her. “And what team is that exactly?”

“I’m bisexual if you’re going to make me label it. But you might have guessed where my...preferences lie.” Sara replied easily.

“Again. You’re not allowed to hit on my sister. She’s got enough to figure out with a secret admirer and all.”

“Well, well, well. It’s about time someone else sees what I have always known. You are pretty amazing, Kara. Good for you.” Although it started out with playfulness, Sara’s tone switched to that of sincerity.”

“Anyway, glad we cleared the air and that we’re all good. Kara and I are just going to…” Alex tried to pull Kara away, but she wasn’t ready to leave yet.

“You go find Lena and Sam. I’ll be right there.”

Alex studied her, but nodded her acceptance and left them alone.

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry about your sister. Do you want to talk about her? I always wish I could talk about my parents, but I worry that Alex and my adopted parents will get sick of hearing about them or that my talking about them will hurt them. So...if you do want to talk...I’m here. Always.”

Sara looked at her for a long moment and Kara was sure that she would refuse the offer, but Sara apparently was full of surprises.

“Laurel was always the perfect one. The good daughter. She never was late for curfew. Didn’t drink underage. She got straight A’s. She was also kind and thoughtful and she genuinely cared about people. You remind me of her a lot actually. Which please don’t read to much into that because otherwise I do sound more damaged than I already am.”

“You’re not. Sara.”

“I cheated with her boyfriend. I’m pretty sure they would have ended up married. I don’t even know why I did it. Probably the same reason I slept with Alex instead of the person I really wanted to be with. I’m self-destructive. And I honestly don’t deserve either of them.”

“I think you should let Ava decide that for herself.” Kara replied kindly and Sara smiled at her sadly.

“The worst part of it all is that Laurel died before I ever got to make it up to her. To her, I will have always been the screw-up. The one who broke her heart. She had to have hated me. I hate me.”

Kara stepped closer to her friend and tugged her into her arms. Sara released a shaky breath as she stiffly stood there and let herself be held.

“No matter how much I try now...I don’t deserve…” She wrapped her arms tightly around Kara, perhaps to steady hersef. “Why couldn’t it have been Laurel who lived? She’s the one who meant something to the world. She’s the one who deserved it all.”

Kara pulled away just far enough to make eye contact with the broken girl in front of her. The transformation was truly remarkable. Gone was the brazen girl she had gotten to know over the last few months. What remained was a girl who was just as damaged as she felt that she was. And what she had learned over the last few months, was that the cracks in her skin--the ones she always felt that she needed to hide from the world. Those cracks were what let the light shine through. Sara, now vulnerable and genuine, had never been more beautiful to Kara. Not that being broken and sad were beautiful, because it truly hurt Kara’s heart to see her friend this way. What had been beautiful, was the removal of her mask. She wished that Sara let more people see the real her. Actually, she’d place money on the fact that maybe Ava already saw the real Sara. And if that were true, then Ava was exactly who Sara needed.

“You mean something to the world, too, Sara. You mean so much to so many people. I don’t think you realize how amazing you truly are. Your courage, confidence, sense of humor and intelligence. You are beautiful and you have the biggest heart. And you deserve so many wonderful things, Sara. I know you miss your sister, but I know that if she were to see who you have become...if she were to know my friend, Sara Lance, that she would love her just as deeply as I do. She would be so proud. And I have to believe that she, along with my parents, just want the best for us. They want us to be happy. Because as much as you so desperately love her...I guarantee that she loved you just as much.”

Sara stared at her and let her eyes close as she inhaled deeply. When she exhaled, she had the smirk that Kara had come to love on her face.

“Don’t think this means we’re dating. I don’t want to break two hearts tonight.”

“You’re impossible.” Kara groaned, even though she couldn’t help smiling.

Sara cleared her throat awkwardly which only made Kara grin wider.

“I’ve embarrassed you, haven’t I?” Kara teased.

“Shut up.”

“I just want to reiterate that you mean something to all of us...but I’m pretty sure you might mean something more to Ava.”

Sara kept eye contact with her before she glanced away with a blush. 

“I gotta get back. Nice talk, little Danvers.” She said as she left Kara standing alone under the darkening sky.

Kara knew that Lena, Sam and Alex were curious how her talk with Sara had gone. But she valued Sara enough to keep what was discussed between them to herself. If Sara wanted to tell them, that was her choice. 

The awkwardness from dinner carried over into her dorm room. Lena hadn’t said much most of the night and Kara became anxious. She hated to admit that she had gotten used to their nightly chats. Those were the times she really got to know Lena. It was their time. And maybe it was childish, but Kara enjoyed that there were some things that only she knew about Lena.

“You’re really not going to tell me what you’re reading? You’re smiling like a fool and every once in a while, I see you blushing.”

Lena bit her lip and her entire face and neck turned red. Kara tried not to stare at the freckle she noticed on her neck a few days ago. Ever since she saw it, she can’t seem to keep from staring. Luckily, her fascination with it has gone undetected. So far.

“If you’re reading that horrid Fifty Shades stuff while I’m in the room with you...Lena, I don’t even know what to say right now.” Now Kara couldn’t help blushing.

“Lesbian Hades!” Lena screeched before she clamped her mouth shut and her eyes went wide. She lowered her voice to a normal octave. “I would never read that trash, Kara. I thought you knew me better than that.”

Kara didn’t care much about what Lena had said after shouting out ‘Lesbian Hades’. Why would she be reading something like that? More importantly, how did something like that actually exist. Does Alex know about that kind of stuff? Her eyes widened at all the new information she could amass now that she knew that there were actually real books about lesbians. She made a mental note to ask her sister later; for research purposes obviously. Because Kara was nothing if not thorough.

She tried her best to school her features so she appeared to be nonchalant, but her heart rate increased and she didn’t understand why. 

“You’re reading...is it for a class?”

Lena stared at her for a long time before she raised an eyebrow and smirked at her. “Do you really think I’m reading a book about a lesbian Hades for a class, Kara?”

Kara bit her lip nervously. “Um...no?”

Lena chuckled at set down her kindle. Then she sat up and faced Kara. She had that look that Kara had become accustomed to; the one that Kara knew meant Lena was going to open up to her.

“I was adopted. Most of America already knows this part and probably half the world. I was five years old. I never knew my dad and my mom died in a car accident so I went to live with the Luthors. Lillian was always so awful to me. Horrible really. It wasn’t until Lionel died several years back that I learned he was actually my biological father. My entire life, I was treated like a second class citizen when I was really a legitimate heir to the Luthor fortune. I have billions, Kara. But the only family I have left, can’t even look me in the eye. Not that I blame her, because I am a daily reminder about the affair Lionel had. “

“That’s no excuse, Lena.” Kara replied sadly, “No one should ever be treated that way. Especially you, Lena. You’re wonderful.”

Lena let out a humorless chuckle. “I wish I knew you before, Kara. When I still believed that good things happened to good people and that things like love and hope were real.”

“But you know me now, and I can help you believe again. I mean, look at me, I have a secret admirer and that’s romantic and good and pure and lovely. And don’t think I haven’t forgotten that we’re going to find you your very own prince charming, Lena. I won’t give up on your happy ending.”

Lena was silent for several minutes, her face expressionless. Kara hated moments like this when she couldn’t read the girl in front of her. Somehow, Lena had wormed her way into Kara’s life and she was very invested in the other girl’s happiness. Maybe more so now.

“Kara…” Lena exhaled shakily. “I’m a lesbian.”

Kara waited to see if she had anything more to say but then Lena broke down and started to sob uncontrollably, so she rushed to her side and pulled her in her arms. They stay like that until Lena stopped shaking and Kara kept quiet because she knew that this was Lena’s night. She would be quiet for the first time in her life if that was what Lena needed. But if Lena needed her to ramble like an idiot, she would surely do that, too.

Lena’s fingers glided across the tattoo on Kara’s wrist. Kara noticed the ghost of a smile that graced Lena’s blood red lips.

“It’s weird...I feel...free.” She looked at Kara with watery eyes. “But also I’m absolutely terrified, because now it's out there and I can’t take it back.”

“Would you want to?” Kara asked sincerely.

She grabbed Lena’s hand from on her wrist and held it. Lena intertwined their fingers. She looked down between them and smiled sadly. “No, I wouldn’t.” 

Silence enveloped them again, but this time it didn’t seem so charged. Or even so smothering. The serenity between them was broken when Lena’s melodious laughter echoed off the walls.

“That’s the first time I ever said the words it out loud. All I ever wanted to be was good. My whole life, I was a pariah. First because I was rich. And because of my brother, so... living in that house...I wanted so desperately to be loved. I knew I had to be perfect. Before Lex went crazy and even before all the homophobic hatred he spewed...I knew I didn’t dare come out at home because the love I received from all of them was completely conditional.”

Kara opened her mouth to respond, but Lena continued. “I know you believe that everything is good and kind and that…” Lena’s eyes softened for the first time since she started talking about her family. “Is one of the things I love about you. But I wonder if that’s the real world. It feels….I know our friends will be completely fine with me...but if feels...I don’t know if I can do that whole thing. I don’t think I’m ready. Or if I will ever be ready. It feels great to have said it out loud but…”

She hesitated and Kara felt bad for her. Kara squeezed her hand and reached up with her other hand to run her fingers through Lena’s hair. She turned her chin toward her so they were looking at each other. Kara needed Lena to hear this. To understand.

“Can I say something? And you promise to hear me. Not just listen but hear the words I’m telling you?”

Lena frowned but nodded anyway.

“Thank you. For trusting me with this, Lena. You are so brave and I am so honored that I am the person you chose to say those words out loud to for the first time. That you got to share that truth with the world, even if it’s just me.” She wiped at the tears that fell from Lena’s eyes with the pad of her thumb. “If there’s anything I learned from the whole Alex debacle it’s that  _ you  _ get to decide when and who and how you come out. But also, if you don’t want to tell anyone else, that’s your choice too.”

She pried her hand out of Lena’s grasp and placed a hand on each side of Lena’s face. “You are one of the strongest women I know. And you are good and kind and I’m sorry that your own family didn’t see that. I know that you are used to doing things on your own. But now you have someone who will stand up for you always. You’re not alone anymore, Lena.”

Lena closed her eyes and swallowed thickly. Kara knew her well enough to know that she hated feeling vulnerable and she hated being the center of attention. She removed her hands from Lena’s face and let them fall clumsily in her own lap.

“Well, now that that’s out of the way...tell me all about this book you’re reading.”

Lena shoved her away with enough force to almost knock Kara off her bed and suddenly they both started to laugh. It was pure magic. Kara glanced at Lena who blotted her eyes with the sleep of her sweatshirt. 

Kara had never been chosen first for anything before. She new she had not been Alex’s first choice for sister. Maybe she was not, but not originally. And she wasn’t Winn’s choice or even his best friend. And she wasn’t Clark’s best friend either. They had each other. But now, she had her very own secret admirer, someone who seemed to have chosen her out of every else for whatever reason.

She looked at Lena again, but the girl had already rearranged herself back on her bed and started to read her kindle. She also had Lena now. Lena, the person who trusted her with the most protected part of herself; who trusted her and only her. Lena who asked about her day and seemed to genuinely want to know her.

Kara rubbed her fingers across her wrist and smiled. Once again, things were changing. But this time change didn’t seem to be a bad thing. This time when she snuck a glance at Lena, the other girl was already looking at her. Lena smiled and looked away quickly. Yes, Kara thought to herself, this time change was a really good thing.

“So how committed are you to reading your wonderfully gay book tonight?” Kara asked as she stood up and smiled down at her friend. “Because I think your bravery should be rewarded with frozen yogurt and also the cheesiest movie we can find.”

Lena stared at her. “You...you’re really something, Kara Danvers.”

Kara looked at her seriously. “I’m not sure you mean that as a compliment.”

Lena smirked. “Definitely a compliment.” She sighed. “I know you promised Alex that nothing would change between the two of you except maybe that you’d get closer. But...you really aren’t freaked out by my confession? We share a room. We’ve slept in the same bed.”

“Lena, I mean this in the nicest way possible...but I have imprinted on you and now you are forever stuck with me. Like you can’t get rid of me, even if you tried.”

Lena shook her head and had a faint smile on her lips as she pulled Kara on the bed. “I don’t think I’d want it any other way.”

“I think you should tell Lucy, when you’re ready though. She could really help you through it all.”

“I will. Tomorrow.” Lena breathed out as she moved closer to Kara.

“You know the best thing...before I was scared that I would never feel whole unless someone loved me...but now that I love someone, even if they can’t or don’t love me back, it’s the first time that it’s been enough. I know that I’m capable of loving someone and that alone, feels amazing.”

Kara shifted around so that she faced Lena and looked at her with intensity. “Whoever it is you love, Lena. They’re lucky. And I really hope that they love you back. You deserve to be happy.” Kara smiled at her and kissed her forehead. “Everyone deserves to feel loved. Especially you.”

Lena smiled at her. 

“Thank you, Kara. Now go to sleep.” She groaned playfully.

Kara smirked then wiggled around playfully before she turned back around and allowed Lena to burrow into her.

“Are you sure you don’t want to be the little spoon, I could hold you.” Kara asked.

Lena remained silent. She tugged Kara into her as much as she could. Then she kissed her on the temple.

“Go to sleep, Kara.”

 

SSSSSSSSSSS

 

The next day, Kara made a pit stop on her way back from class. As she waited for the door to open, she shot a quick text to tell Lena that she'd stop by to pick up their mail after she checked on Ava. When her blonde friend opened the door, she wrapped her in her arms.

"Hey, Ava. I just wanted to check in with you. How are you holding up?"

Ava sighed as she pulled away. "I really do need to come to terms with the fact that Sara will never feel the way I feel." She backed away so Kara could step inside and then she closed the door behind them. "I think it just hurt worse this time because it was Alex. Sara has been sleeping around since high school, and..."

She trailed off as if she was about to say something then thought better of it.

"It doesn't sting as bad when she is with people I know she has no feelings for. But she's friends with Alex. Alex means a lot to her. And I just thought that if she was ever ready to have an actual relationship, that maybe she was waiting for me. Or that she was incapable of being with anyone who meant anything to her other than sex."

"And then Alex happened."

"So it isn't that she's incapable of having a relationship beyond sex, it just that she doesn't want one with me."

"So you guys have..."

"Not for awhile, no. We slept together after Laurel...I think she just needed to be close to somebody. Somebody who she felt safe with. And somebody she knew would never leave her. But like I said, I'm not built for casual and I had to eventually call it off."

"You needed to look after yourself. How did she handle that?"

"Once she realized that I was still not going anywhere, she was fine with it. It took a lot of convincing...just showing up every day. I think she was used to people just wanting her for sex that she thought after we stopped having it, I would leave too. Like I said, she's my best friend. Even if she can't love me the way I wish she did, that doesn't mean I'm giving up on her or letting her give up on herself."

"She's lucky to have a friend like you, Ava. You're a really good person. And even if she doesn't see you the way you want her too...that doesn't mean that you don't mean everything to her. I'm generally oblivious, I've been told, and even I can see that she cares about you. A lot."

"Thanks, Kara." Ava smiled at her gratefully. "How's Alex? She stopped by last night and was a mess. She felt so awful for what she had done, thinking she betrayed me. I think Lucy, Iris and I spent half the night consoling her."

"She messaged me a few times today, making sure I'm not mad at her. She's never done anything like that before and she judges herself so harshly. She spent her whole life trying to be perfect, I don't think she's ready to let anyone down. I think with Thanksgiving coming up so soon, that she's also stressing out about telling her parents."

"The dreaded coming out parental speech. The truth is, it never really gets easier. What they don't tell you about being gay is that there isn't just one big coming out, but so many. Especially if you choose to live authentically in all aspects of your life, it can be daunting. Announcing who you are to the world at all is terrifying. There are way too many people who judge us as it is, and most people just want to be liked."

Kara nodded. She understood that. 

"Have you thought any more about your dilemma?" Ava asked before she frowned. "Not dilemma, that's the wrong word. You're self-discovery?"

Kara shrugged. "I don't know." She fiddled with her fingers anxiously. "I don't know what it means for me. Can I still be considered bisexual if I don't think I want sex? It's sort of part of the word, so...I don't know what I really am or what it makes me."

"You're still you, Kara. And the great thing is that you get to decide what that means and how you want to present it to the world. And just so you know, you can be more than one thing. You can be asexual and bi or pan or whatever you choose to label yourself as. And asexual is a spectrum as well, so you have a lot of leeway there for how you choose to identify or whether you want to label it at all."

Kara listened intently. 

"Have you talked to Lucy and Lena at all, or Alex even?"

Kara shook her head.

Ava smiled at her genuinely. "Thank you for sharing your truth with me, even if you are unsure what you want to call it."

Kara smiled at that.

"I really think you should talk to them though. In the very least, you should all be on the same page. And Lucy is very knowledgeable about all aspects of these things. If she doesn't already have some pamphlets and research about it, she will sure as hell get some."

Kara's smile turned to that of fondness as she thought about Lucy. "She totally would know what I should read and have all the answers."

"If you want me to be with you when you decide to talk to them, let know know. Sometime it helps having a neutral party for extra support.”

"I appreciate that."

They chatted a little while longer, just to catch up on other gossip and vent about their professors. Then Kara hugged her goodbye and left. When Kara retrieved the mail, a card addressed to Lena surprised her. Her stomach turned as she wondered what it could be and who it was from. She tried her best to casually waltz into her room.

“Hey, Kara!” Lucy said as she entered the room.

The brunette sat on Kara’s bed while Lena studied at her desk.

“Lucy, hey.” Kara smiled. 

“Surprise!” Lucy grinned and made little jazz hands. 

“What’s that?” Lena asked with a raised eyebrow as she finally joined the conversation. “Don’t tell me you have another, uncreative, secret admirer.”

“Your what now?” Lucy jumped off the bed toward Kara and grabbed the card from her hand. “This is for Lena.”

“Yeah, surprise!” Kara made mocking jazz hands. “It was in the mail today.”

Lucy distractedly handed it to Lena as she talked to Kara. “But you have a secret admirer? How do I not know this?”

“I haven’t really told anyone. Except Alex, Sam, and Lena.”

“Okay. Do we have any ideas who it could be?”

“She’s got lots of ideas.” Lena answered as she turned the unopened card over and over in her hands.

“Aren’t you going to open that?” Kara asked.

“What for? I know what it is and who its from.”

Kara frowned. “How? I have been stressing for months about not knowing who’s making me gifts and you don’t even have to open that and you know what it is.”

“Months? Made you gifts?” Lucy shrieked as she sat back on Kara’s bed. 

“Her admirer gave her all the stuff on her desk. Origami stuff and well...there were Hershey kisses in that vase but she already ate them all.” Lena ignored Kara’s unasked question and pointedly avoided eye contact with her as well. “They are also cheesy.”

“Just the right kind of cheesy though.” Kara sighed. “I think it’s sweet.”

She knew that Lena wasn’t about to elaborate on the card, so she figured she would catch up with Lucy. “First, I got this jar of rocks because I rock their world.”

Lucy laughed out loud. Kara pulled a single stone out of her pocket and handed it to Lucy.

“At first, I thought it was a prank. Because who would honestly like someone like me? But then they made me that bouquet of origami flowers because I deserve something that can last forever. And maybe it still is a prank. But I don’t even care anymore because someone has spent a lot of time on it and...it makes me feel special. I carry that stone around...I started to a week or so ago, because it makes me feel like in a small way...it makes it all seem real.”

“I didn’t know you did that.” Lena spoke quietly, her near hostility from earlier completely absent.

Kara shrugged. “I was worried it’d make me sound like a loser.”

“You could never be a loser, Kara.” Lucy said as she grabbed her hand and handed the stone back to her. “I think this admirer thing is sweet and really romantic and everything, but Kara...maybe, don’t waste so much time on someone you don’t know. And pay attention to what is right in front of you. You might be missing out on something even more real.” She glanced at Lena and then met Kara’s eyes again. “Not everyone is good with crafts or witty on paper, that doesn’t mean that they can’t feel just as strongly about you. Okay?”

“Right. You’re right.”

“But on the flip side, just because someone is better with the grand gestures and writing their feelings down in maybe dorky ways, that doesn’t mean that they should be overlooked just because they haven’t been brave enough to say it to your face yet.” Lena stated with a frown.

Kara considered both possibilities and smiled. She rubbed the underside of her wrist as she spoke. “I understand. Don’t forget to live in the now. Don’t obsess over what could be. Just enjoy all the possibilities.”

Apart from the extravagant gifts from her secret admirer, she also got several small things every week. One of Kara’s favorite was a cute little origami kitten head that said “You’re purr-fect just the way you are” on the back of it. She also got an intricate origami Yoda made with both green and brown construction paper and really resembled the character. That was accompanied by a sweet little note that read, “Adore you, I do.”

Kara also received several adorable haikus. A drawing of a cartoon bee that read. “You are bee-utiful.” And another one she enjoyed was when her secret admirer taped two pennies to her door along with a note underneath it that said, “If you want my two cents, I think you’re the most beautiful person I have ever known--inside and out.”

With each new gift, Kara fell deeper and deeper into infatuation with her secret admirer. They made her feel special and pretty and loved. Whoever it was, really seemed to understand her and knew when she needed a pick me up. She only wished she had a clue as to who it was, just so she could let them know that it worked. That she had fallen for them. And that whenever they were ready to reveal themselves, that she would do her best to be worthy of all the attention.

She let her eyes find Lena’s, and the other girl was already looking at her. Kara smiled first, and Lena mirrored her. Lucy’s hand on her forearm drew her attention back to the girl beside her. 

“I didn’t mean to make you question the validity of your secret admirer, Kara, because I do think it’s really sweet. I just wanted you to know that what you think about yourself isn’t how the rest of the world sees you. Because the fact that you even doubted that someone could care about you enough to do something like that without it being a prank actually breaks my heart a little. You’re better than you know.” Lucy told her and Kara found herself believing it.

Lucy weaved her fingers through Kara’s and held her hand firmly. Kara smiled at the gesture. She hadn’t realized how much she missed Lucy’s exuberant energy until she was engulfed by it.

“It’s a birthday card from Lillian Luthor.” Lena broke the silence. “The card. My birthday is Friday.”

“What?!” Kara raised to her knees excitedly. “I don’t have adequate time to prepare! I can’t believe you sprung this on me last minute….” She paused. “If I hadn’t found the card, you never would have mentioned it, would you?”

“I’ve never been big on birthdays.” Lena had the decency to look properly chastised.

“That’s because you never got to celebrate like the Danvers’. We go all out for birthdays!”

“Kara…” Lena sighed.

“I was already trying to plan a karaoke trip. We have to do that. And I’ll buy you an ice cream cake for before. And I will buy you your first rootbeer float.”

“Kara Danvers, living life on the edge.” Lucy said with a happy smile. “But karaoke sounds awesome.”

Lucy let go of Kara’s hand and grabbed her phone to presumably text their friends. Lena looked terrified about all of the enthusiasm. Kara almost felt bad for her. She crawled off the bed and shuffled her feet over to Lena as she gave her the best puppy dog eyes she could muster. 

“Kara…” Lena whined and Kara knew she had her.

She smiled at her and hopped up and down on the balls of her feet. “We get out of class early Friday anyway. I will walk you from class to the ice cream shoppe. I will place the order for the cake tonight so it’ll be ready in time. Then we’ll order pizza and watch a movie. I’ll let you pick the kind of pizza and the movie. When the movie’s done, I’ll pick up the cake and we’ll have all of our friends over. If anyone had time to buy a quick present, we’ll pass those out. And we will end the night with karaoke. Barry and I have already planned a duet, but we’ll dedicate it to you. If you let me do this for you, we can even cuddle during the movie.”

Lena rolled her eyes. “Like the cuddling thing is for me, Kara.”

“Please….”

Lena bit her lip and looked away. “Alright fine. You plan everything, I promise to just show up.”

“I’m glad you agreed, because all of our friends are already onboard.” Lucy said as she returned her phone to her back pocket. “I guess I should go and start looking for your present.”

“Oh, me too!” Kara announced. “You and me tomorrow?”

“It’s a date.” Lucy grinned.

The next day, Lucy surprised Kara after class.

“Little Lane, don’t even think you’re going to leave without saying ‘hello’.” Cat yelled loud enough to stop the girls in their tracks.

They turned around and walked back into the classroom.

“Hey, Cat.”

Cat’s eyebrows shot up with surprise. “You’re almost as brazen as your sister. How is she by the way?”

“She’s good. She’s working on a piece she said will win her a Pulitzer. But you’ll have to wait to hear about it when the rest of the world does.” Lucy smirked at her.

Cat grinned back. “I like this one, Kara. Keep her.” 

Kara blushed. 

“Anyway, tell your sister I said ‘Hi’ and that she will have some competition for that Pulitzer if I have anything to say about it.”

“I’ll let her know.”

“And, Kiera. Don’t forget your paper is due in a week. I expect greatness.”

“It’s Kara.” Lucy corrected.

Cat waved her hand distractedly. “See you next week.”

“Bye, Ms. Grant.” Kara replied.

“See ya, Cat.”

When they walked out, Lucy started to smile. “Don’t tell anyone, but if she were my professor...I would be having some  _ Hot for Teacher _ fantasies.”

“I...um…”

Before they got too far down the hallway, Lena reached over to Kara and grabbed her arm to stop her. When Kara looked at her, she noticed for the first time how nervous Lucy looked.

“Before we go shopping for Lena...I...I made you something. I’ve been working on it, but after yesterday...I just…” Lucy pulled something out of her bag and shoved it into Kara’s hands.

It was a stained glass Tweety Bird. It was awkward looking and rough around the edges but somehow oddly perfect. Kara smiled as she turned it around in her hands and admired it. She loved it.

“I may not be your secret admirer, Kara.” Lucy smiled at her with hope in her eyes. And a dopey smile on her face. “But I think you’re ‘tweet’.”

Kara laughed out loud. She pulled Lucy into her and hugged her tightly. 

“Thank you, I love it.” She smiled sincerely at Lucy. “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me before.”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “You have a secret admirer who makes you origami bouquets.”

“Yes, but you were brave enough to give it to me face to face. And that means a lot to me. So thank you.”

Kara and Lucy made their way to a used bookstore not far from campus. Because what else do you buy for the girl who has everything?

“I still can’t believe you never told me about having a secret admirer. What else am I out of the loop on?” Lucy stopped walking and grabbed Kara’s hand. “I still cannot believe Alex slept with Sara. I so did not see that coming.”

“Alex said she was interested in someone. Do you have any clue who it might be?”

Lucy shook her head. “I mean, she’s hot, so it’s not like she will have any trouble picking someone up if she wants to. I happen to know at least one person who is interested in her.”

“Really? Who?”

“It’s not for me to say.”

“Fine.” Kara frowned. “You think my sister’s hot?”

“I have eyes, sweetie. I know you wouldn’t notice this kind of stuff...but our entire friend group is filled with really good looking people.”

“I notice stuff.” Kara pouted.

Lucy raised an eyebrow and smirked. ”Oh, really now. What kind of stuff have you noticed?”

“You’re mocking me.”

“I...yeah, I am. Sorry?” Lucy gave Kara her own patented puppy dog eyes and suddenly Kara felt like she would never be able to say ‘No’ to this girl.

Lucy tucked her arm through Kara’s and walked her down one of the aisles in the store. They lost themselves in their scavenger hunt for the perfect gift they could find for their best friend’s birthday.

The next afternoon, Kara waited by the door of Lena’s classroom until the students filed out. Lena’s eyes lit up when she saw Kara.

“Happy Birthday!”

Lena playfully rolled her eyes. “You wished me a Happy Birthday already, remember? This morning when you jumped on my bed at 7am to wake me up and surprise me with breakfast in bed.”

“It’s a Danvers family tradition.”

“It wasn’t part of the scheduled events you made me promise to adhere to.”

“Lena Luthor is not a morning person. Noted.”

Lena sighed. “That’s not...I actually really enjoyed the poptarts Kara. And the very beautiful rendition of Happy Birthday you woke me up to. And I even enjoyed all of the random texts I got from you all morning and afternoon. I’m just not used to having anyone make such a big deal about today, and I...I’m not sure I’m ready to be the center of attention all day.”

Kara smiled and fished in her pocket for the small stone she kept in there. “Here’s your first birthday gift.”

Lena stared at it with amusement, but also with fondness. “You’re giving this to me, but it’s yours.”

Kara shook her head and refused to take it back when Lena tried to offer it to her.

“Let me guess….I rock?”

Kara beamed. “I mean, you do. But I actually wanted to tell you that…” She gnawed on her bottom lip anxiously. “You’re  _ my  _ rock, Lena. I have enjoyed getting to know you these last few months and I’m truly grateful to have you in my life. You’re my best friend.”

Lena’s eyes watered and her bottom lip trembled. She bit down on it so severely that she left indentations of her teeth in her red stained lips. “I promised myself I would not cry today.”

“Happy tears are good tears though.”

“All tears are weaknesses when you’re a Luthor.”

Kara grinned and leaned in conspiratorially. “It’s a good thing that you’re a Danvers today. Crying is not only accepted, it’s encouraged.”

Lena released a watery laugh. “Being a Danvers sounds pretty perfect.”

“It is usually, as long as Alex isn’t in one of her moods.”

Lena shook her head with a smile. She blotted at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I really don’t know if I will survive tonight, Kara. This is already the best day I think I ever had.”

Kara wrapped her in a warm hug and felt Lena relax against her.  “Your day’s just getting started, Lena. The rest of our friends are just as grateful as I am to be able to celebrate the day you came into the world. And the fact that you are now such a big part of our world.”

They walked to the ice cream shoppe and Kara was more than happy with Lena’s reaction to her first Rootbeer Float. She smiled as she watched Lena sip it happily, she looked so much like a little kid. Although, the whipped cream dot on her nose did a lot to lend to the childlike aesthetic.

“What?” Lena asked as she actually slurped loudly from her straw to ensure she finished every last drop.

“You just…” Kara reached over with her thumb and wiped the cream off Lena’s nose.

“Oh, sorry.” Lena blushed.

Without much thought, Kara stuck her thumb in her mouth and sucked off the remnants of the whipped cream. Lena started to cough and Kara removed her thumb from between her lips and attempted to reach across the table but thought better of it.

“Are you okay?” She asked as she awkwardly folded her hands together and placed them in her lap.

“I’m fine.” Lena croaked. “We should get back to start the movie. Want to order the pizza now so it’ll be ready by the time we get back?”

“Sounds good. What kind are we getting?”

“Hawaiian.”

Kara’s eyes lit up then she narrowed them and glared at Lena. “You don’t have to order the kind I like, Lena, you can order whatever you want.”

“I like ham.”

“And pineapple?” Kara asked pointed.

“I love pineapple.” Lena replied. “Just not on pizza, because that is disgusting.”

“Then why?”

Lena spun the empty glass around in her hands and refused eye contact with Kara as she spoke. “I can just pick it off.”

“Lena! It’s your birthday. You shouldn’t have to pick off toppings you don’t like.” Kara grabbed her phone and placed an order without consulting her friend. When she was finished she put her phone away and smiled at her triumphantly. “I ordered you a gross veggie deluxe with extra olives because you’re gross. And I ordered me a Hawaiian. We’re also getting bread sticks. And we’re getting chocolate milk on the way home because pizza is always best with chocolate milk.”

Lena didn’t respond, because she must have understood that it was a moot point. 

“And when you pick the movie...pick something  _ you  _ actually want to watch.”

Lena bit her lip and nodded, but she couldn’t do a thing to hide the blush that covered her cheeks. “I promise.”

So the movie Lena picked was called,  _ Professor Marston and the Wonder Women,  _ and it was not a comic book story about Wonder Woman. Lena was curled into Kara’s side as they watched the movie. The very, very gay movie. The very gay movie that featured a polyamorous relationship with three people who were currently having really gay sex on screen. Kara wanted to close her eyes because she was very positive that this was not something she was ready to see or explore or think about for that matter. But she would never be able to unsee it and now that song would inevitably cause her to think of certain things every time she heard it. Because despite everything Kara thought she should be feeling or worried she shouldn’t be feeling, the song was completely appropriate. She really was feeling good.

She felt Lena tense against her and heard a sharp intake of breath. Yeah, this movie was definitely making Lena feel things too. Kara had to admit, she enjoyed the movie. A lot. And she even found herself unsurprisingly bawling by the end. How could she not? She had a heart, and this movie was just so perfect and they were just so in love. And they had a lot of really, really interesting sex. With a rope. That was something Kara didn’t even know was a thing, and now that was all she thought about for several minutes after the credits rolled. Well, that, and the line toward the end of the movie about not letting their kids inherit their shame. That mattered to her for some reason. Maybe the reason was the person currently in her arms who had yet to say a thing since the movie started. The wonderful person in her arms whose adoptive mom (but really her actual stepmom) made a world so uninhabitable for her own child who felt the need to live with that fear and that shame even now. 

“Kara...say something. Did you like it?” Lena remained with her head rested on Kara’s shoulder and lazily traced her fingers up and down Kara’s arm. “Did you hate it?”

“I…” Kara’s voice came out unexpectedly husky, so she cleared her throat and tried again. “I enjoyed it a lot actually. I really liked Olive, but...Elizabeth...there’s something about her that broke my heart. She was wonderful.  _ They _ were wonderful. Bill too.”

Silence ensued again.

“Lena?”

“Hmmm?”

“Do you ever feel like...aren’t you scared that you’re denying yourself your own love story if you don’t reveal all of yourself to the world?”

Lena rolled her head to the side and glanced at Kara. “What do you mean?”

“I just think....you have so much to offer and you don’t let a lot of people in. I know I feel honored to be among the few, but...you have to know that you could have anyone you wanted if you just put yourself out there. I guarantee you that the ladies would be lining up for you.”

Lena sighed sadly and went back to playing with Kara’s arm. She brushed her fingers over the tattoo on her wrist, then continued on down until she laced her fingers through Kara’s. 

“But what if I already know who I want?”

“You could have her. Probably. I mean, if you put yourself out there.”

Kara studied their fingers and marveled at how well they fit together. “Have you...I am still learning about things...but the movie...polyamory...is that something you’ve ever thought about?”

Lena’s harsh laughter echoed off the walls. “Kara, I have trouble finding one girlfriend. How would I even go about finding more than one?”

Kara blushed at the thought. It would solve her little dilemma though, wouldn’t it? If her secret admirer didn’t turn out to be who she was starting to think she might want it to be. Before she could delve deeper into that awkward and alluring line of questioning, the timer on her phone buzzed.

“Looks like it’s time to pick up the cake.” She said even though she had no desire to actually move from her current position.

“You ate almost your entire pizza and half of the breadsticks. Are you really going to be able to eat some cake?”

Kara playfully shoved Lena off of her. “That’s blasphemous, Lena. There is always room for cake. Especially if it’s ice cream cake!”

When they got back with the cake, half of their friends already stood in front of their door waiting for them.

“Chocolate Ice Cream Cake!” Barry announced happily when he saw what was in Kara’s hands. “You’re the best!”

“Kara didn’t do anything.” Lena grumbled. “I’m the one who was born.”

“Yes, congratulations to your mother for doing all the work.” Sara smirked.

Kara glanced toward Lena to see if the mention of her mom would upset her, but Lena appeared just as happy as she had been all afternoon. Birthdays looked good on Lena Luthor. Lena unlocked the door and led the group inside, and while Kara set the cake down on her desk.

“I hope you don’t mind my little brother crashing your party. I planned on having them visit for the weekend and then Lucy told us about your birthday.” Iris apologized as she set the gift she had in her hands down next to the cake.

“”Of course, it’s fine.” Lena smiled at her and then introduced herself to the person who stood awkwardly behind Iris. “I’m Lena, and this is Kara.” 

“Hey!” Kara greeted with a warm smile.

They smiled shyly. “I’m Wally.”

“Well, welcome to the dark side Wally. We have cake.” Kara teased as she started to put candles in it.

Wally, Barry and Iris sat on Kara’s bed. James, Winn and Clark sprawled out on the floor. And Lena sat alone on her own bed. Alex and Sam arrived next and they set their presents on the bed next to Lena. Alex did so with a smile that was far too big to not mean trouble. 

“Hey, grab ours too!” Winn told her as he tossed the present he was holding.

“I’ve got some in the bottom drawer here, will you take those as well?” Kara asked as she opened the drawer in question and Alex eyed the large stack of gifts.

“They’re also from Lucy.” Kara said by way of explanation.

Alex smirked at her, but didn’t reply. Then she also grabbed the one from Kara’s desk and made a small pile next to the birthday girl. Sam sat happily beside Lena and gave her a hug in greeting. Kara watched her build a small monument out of the ever-growing pile of gifts. Lena watched as well, but whereas Kara was excited by it--Lena appeared to be overwhelmed.

“This is more presents than I’ve ever gotten.” She stated softly, and with awe.

Sam reached over and rested her hand on Lena’s shoulder in comfort. Kara met Lena’s eyes and gave her a warm smile. Lena smiled back genuinely so Kara knew her friend was okay.

“How is that possible?” Winn asked with amazement. The ‘for a Luthor’ went unsaid.

“Well, please don’t expect too much, we didn’t have much notice and had to improvise.” Iris said with a concerned softness to her voice.

“I assure you that they are already more thoughtful than any I’ve received from my parents. They tended to be all about the practicality of gift giving. And also, without irony, refused to give us anything we actually asked for because they didn’t want us to grow up feeling entitled.”

“Wow. That’s…” Barry trailed off because no one really knew what to say to that.

“The party can officially start now, we’re here!” Lucy announced as she walked through the door as if she lived there. Which wasn’t exactly far from the truth. 

She was followed in the room by Sara and Ava, who held hands. Kara grinned at the sight. Sara caught her eye and smirked before rolling her eyes. 

“You and I will talk later.” Kara demanded and received a nod in return.

“Happy Birthday, Lena.” Ava greeted happily as she added hers and Sara’s presents to the pile.

Sara gave her a salute before she collapsed on Kara’s bed and waited for Ava to join her. Lucy gave Kara a hug and then walked over to Lena and did the same with her. 

“Happy Birthday.” She smiled and then placed a kiss on Lena’s cheek which caused the other girl to blush furiously.

Lucy dropped her present next to the others before she joined Kara at her desk to help with the cake.

“I just finished putting all the candles in if you want to help me light them.” Kara told her as she handed her a book of matches.

Lucy smirked. “A girl after my own heart.”

Everyone laughed and chatted amicably while they waited. They all sounded quite excited about the karaoke excursion. Kara listened to them happily as she lit her half of the cake. When all the candles where glowing, she picked it up slowly and turned around to face Lena. Lena’s eyes were already on her so they smiled at each other.

“Are you ready?” Kara asked and carefully took a step toward Lena.

Instead of letting Kara come to her, Lena stood up and rushed toward her. 

“It’s easier this way.” She stated simply when Kara opened her mouth to question her.

“Okay, make a wish.” Lucy told her excitedly.

Lena glanced from Lucy to Kara and smiled warmly. She closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them, Kara was amazed at the pure joy she saw shining in the depths of them. They were sparkling with unshed tears and aglow from the reflection of the fire. Kara honestly had never seen anything more beautiful in her life. Nor did she think she ever would again. She knew she wasn’t the only one who felt that way, if the sharp intake of breath coming from Lucy was any indication.

“You’re beautiful.” She accidentally breathed out.

Lena blushed. “Thank you, Lucy.”

Then without warning, Lena pursed her lips and blew out the candles. Once again, Kara was mesmerized by the beauty standing in front of her. Lucy swallowed loudly from beside Kara, which pulled the blonde from that trail of thought. She shook her head to clear her mind and was surprised to notice that all the candles were out. When had that happened?

“So, now we eat cake?” Barry asked from his place on the floor. “Wally and I can cut it while you take a seat and relax, Kara.”

Kara had been about to argue until she felt Lucy’s hand on the small of her back, guiding her to her bed. She sat down and not a moment later, Lucy dropped down on her lap. Without thought, Kara wrapped her arms around Lucy’s waist to hold her in place and to keep her safe. She leaned forward a bit and rested her cheek on Lucy’s back. Kara let her eyes wander back to Lena, who now sat back down on her own bed. 

Barry handed Lena the first piece of cake and shortly after, everyone was quiet as they chowed down on the ice cream cake. Iris and Sam walked around the room and grabbed everyone’s empty plates when they were all finished and threw them away in a large garbage bag.

“Okay! Time for presents!” Kara and Lucy announced at the same time which made everyone laugh at them.

“I get to go first!” Alex stated with more excitement than Kara ever remembered her sister having. It made her wonder if Alex had already had a few drinks tonight.

She carelessly dug through the gifts until she found the ones she brought. “You’re lucky I already had your Christmas shopping done, Lena.”

“You did your Christmas shopping already?” James asked.

“Alex acts like the world’s biggest cynic, but she loves the holidays.” Winn teased. “Well, holidays that involve presents.”

“She thinks she’s clever.” Clark smirked. “Her gifts are usually thoughtful unless she wants to be an ass about it.”

“That’s exactly what I was scared of.” Kara groaned into Lucy’s back, causing the girl sitting on her lap to giggle.

“It’ll be fine. Lena can take a joke.”

“I really didn’t expect any gifts at all...so I guess gag gifts are kind of exciting.” Lena replied.

“Just open them!” Alex said as she thrust the first present to her.

Kara exhaled with relief when she noticed that it was just a bunch of T-shirts. Lena seemed to take her time looking at each one.

“No, show them. Read them out loud.” Alex demanded.

Lena read the first one. “You’re overreacting.”

She smiled as she showed them the shirt. It had a picture of two chemistry beakers with faces on them. 

“That’s cute.” Sam grinned.

“There’s no picture on this one, it just says…’I make horrible science puns but only periodically.’” Lena blushed at that and Alex smirked.

“I liked that one best. You know who else makes great puns?” Alex’s eyes found Kara’s from across the room. “Kara’s secret admirer. Have you figured out who it is yet?”

“I hate you, Alex.” Kara muttered.

“Kara? You have a secret admirer and you never told me?” Winn turned around to face her with a sad expression on his face.

“Can we get back to Lena and her presents please.” Kara begged.

Lucy rubbed her hands up and down Kara’s legs comfortingly, but it made Kara jump at the contact.

“Sorry.” Lucy said as she withdrew her hands.

Kara reached out and grabbed one of Lucy’s hands. Instantly, their fingers weaved together and rested their linked hands against Lucy’s thigh.

Lena raised at eyebrow at the next shirt she read. “Never trust an Atom, they make everything up.”

She revealed the shirt and it had a cartoon drawing of an atom on it. “Like I haven’t heard that one before, but as a Luthor.”

Alex waved her hands in faux innocence, if the smirk on her face was any indication. “It’s a coincidence, I swear.”

Lena held up the last shirt toward the group as she read it. “Let’s make crazy science together.” She smirked and addressed Alex. “Are you propositioning me, Danvers?”

Alex’s eyes widened and her cheeks flushed. She opened and closed her mouth wordlessly as the room erupted in laughter.

“See, I told you she could take a joke.” Lucy whispered so that only Kara could her her.

She realized that no matter how the rest of the gift giving went, that Lena was already enjoying herself; so Kara let herself finally relax.

“See it wasn’t that bad, Kara. I’m not a monster.” Alex glowered as she basically shoved her last gift in Lena’s hands. “Lena loves science as much as me, and I’m pretty sure she enjoys puns as well.”

Lena ripped open the paper and revealed a box of wine. The kind that Alex and Sara got drunk off of right before they slept together. The kind that Lena had mocked for being awful and basically tacky.

“Wow, Alex. You really shouldn’t have.” Lena deadpanned as Alex smirked with satisfaction.

“Oh, Cool. You got the good stuff!” Winn shouted excitedly which caused Alex, Sam, Lena and Alex to burst out in laughter.

“What?” He looked around the room. “What’d I say?”

Lena recovered first and smiled fondly at him. “Maybe you could help me with it? I’m not much of a drinker.”

His entire face lit up. “Yes! That'd be great. Thanks, Lena. You rock!”

Kara smiled at Lena gratefully. Then she leaned over as best as she could and playfully ruffled Winn’s hair.

“Hey!” He protested, but it didn’t hold any bite to it because he simultaneously leaned further into her reach.

“I want to go next.” Sara announced. “Unlike Alex, I do not shop months in advance nor should you all actually expect Christmas gifts from me because I’m a broke college student and you all already know I care. So Lena...I had to get creative.”

Lena’s eyes widened slightly as she started to open the gift that Sara handed her. Rather than being calmed by the gift, her mouth dropped open in shock and her cheeks tainted pink.

“I heard you’re a reader and these are from my own personal collection, so enjoy!”

Sam and Alex leaned over Lena’s shoulder to read the book titles but Alex had to bite her lip to keep from laughing out loud. Sam tilted her head to the side and then looked toward Sara.

“Are these...they’re about lesbians, aren’t they?”

“Not all of them are gay.” Sara told her seriously. She leaned over and sifted through the pile of books before she found the one she was looking for. “This is a good one.”

Lena raised her eyebrow and smirked as she read the title. “ _ How to Win Friends and Influence People.  _ Gee, thanks, Sara. I think I prefer the lesbian erotica.”

Lucy started laughing so hysterically that Kara had to tighten her grip on her so she wouldn’t fall. Winn and Clark chuckled and Alex had given up trying to conceal her amusement.

“You win, Lance. Best gift ever.” Alex conceded to which Sara bowed theatrically.

“Can I borrow a few of those?” Sam asked innocently.

Kara didn’t think she ever saw Alex’s eyes that wide. And her head whipped toward Sam so rapidly, Kara feared she might have gotten whiplash. 

“I’ll go next.” Ava said mostly to ease Sam’s sudden embarrassment. 

She had gotten Lena some cheap liquor and a carton of donuts.

“I apologize for not being overly thoughtful, I feel bad that it wasn’t something more sincere. But I guess it’s better than giving you gag gifts.” Ava said pointedly. 

She directed her steely glare at Sara and Alex and they actually cowered under her gaze. Kara wanted to learn how to do that. Meanwhile, Sam was still preoccupied reading the back covers of the books Sara had given Lena.

Sara must have noticed Sam as well, because she stage whispered to her. “If you really want to know the good ones, I’ve got some suggestions and recommendations for you, Sam.”

The brunette immediately dropped the book she had in her hand and stood up nervously. Ava slapped Sara in the ass which only caused the shorter blonde to chuckle. They both reclaimed their spots on Kara’s bed.

“I...I guess I’ll go next.” Sam said as she rifled through the stack of remaining gift and handed hers to Lena. “I didn’t have a lot of extra money, so I had to make yours. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not, Sam. You really didn’t have to worry about it, I don’t need anything.” Lena told her honestly. “But thank you.”

She opened it to reveal a homemade CD jewel case with adorable artwork. Lena smiled sincerely. “You made me a mixtape. I only ever saw that in movies. This is so cool.” She studied it and turned in around in her hands. 

“I wasn’t sure if you had a CD player so...uh, I also included my old discman. It still works. I used it a few days ago.”

Lena got teary eyed and stood up to hug her friend. “This is really great, I adore it.”

“Well now I kind of wish I’d gotten you a real gift.” Alex admitted.

“Oh, come on, Alex. Your presence is a gift.” Lucy stated teasingly.

James gave Lena a grey National City University sweatshirt. Iris gave her a Starbucks gift card and also some small trinkets from the university gift shop. A shot glass (which would be useful tonight with Ava’s alcohol). A keychain. A baseball cap, but Lucy claimed that and Lena happily tossed it to her and smiled softly as she put it on backwards. And a school banner.

Barry gave Lena all of the contents from his secret junk food stash (Lena automatically tossed Kara the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups). Clark and Winn went in together on their gift and gave Lena a stack of gift cards. One from Noonan’s. One from the frozen yogurt place. One from the movie theatre near campus. And one from Barnes and Noble.

Lena was grateful for each and every gift. And even though they tried to apologize for the uncreative and unsentimental gifts, and told her they would do much better next year because they had far more notice---Lena assured them that she loved them all. It was hard not to believe her when she had to fight back a new set of tears as each person handed her a gift.

Wally stood up and shuffled their feet nervously as they approached the birthday girl. 

“I didn’t know about your party till I got here so…”  Wally reached inside their pocket and pulled out a wallet. They frowned and handed Lena a ten dollar bill. “This is all I’ve got.”

Everyone in the room started to laugh and even Lena smiled in amusement at the poor kid.

“You don’t know who Lena is, do you?” James asked when they all recovered from laughing.

Wally’s brows furrowed deeper. “Should I?”

Lena smiled at them sweetly and extended her empty hand. “Lena  _ Luthor _ .”

Wally’s whole face morphed into one of recognition. Not disgust but understanding. After they shook her hand, they kicked at the floor with one shoe and buried their hands in their back pockets awkwardly. 

“Wow...so…” Wally’s eyes dropped down to the ten dollar bill in Lena’s other hand.  “Do you think…” They gestured toward the money. “Could I have that back?”

Once again, the room descended into hysterics. 

She handed it back.  “I’m just glad you came tonight, Wally. I’m happy to know you.”

The only presents remaining on the bed were the ones from Lucy and Kara.

“You ready?” Lucy asked as she climbed off Kara’s lap and turned around so she could help Kara up as well.

They walked hand in hand the few short steps to Lena. They glanced at each other in silent understanding that Lucy would hand out the gifts while Kara spoke.

“We felt bad that you missed a lot of really great birthday celebrations, so we decided to try to make it up to you in our own way.”

Lucy gave Lena the first several gifts. She waited for Lena to open the first couple before she explained the rest of their plan. Lena looked through the children’s books she held in her hands.  _ Velveteen Rabbit. Goodnight Moon. Where the Wild Things Are. Where the Sidewalk Ends. _

“We bought you eighteen books, one for each of the birthdays we missed.”

Lena let out a strangled sob. Then she set the books down and grabbed Lucy and Kara and pulled them down into her for an awkward embrace. She swallowed thickly.

“I don’t even know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything, Lena. We did it for you. We just want you to have good memories of your birthday from now on.” Kara told her as she struggled to hold back her own tears.

Lena opened her remaining books. But there were still three presents left on the bed. She looked at Kara and then Lucy.

“Like we told you...those were for the eighteen years we missed. We each got you one for this year.” Lucy explained.

Kara gave her _Perks of Being a Wallflower_  and Lucy gave her  _ Mists of Avalon _ .

“I hope you didn’t already read them.” Kara stated as she bit her lip with worry.

“Not all of them, no. But some of them were my favorites so I’m happy to have them.” Lena’s voice shook when she spoke to them. “Thank you so much. I love them. And I love you guys.”

“But there’s still one more gift.” Barry pointed to the lone present sitting on the bed.

Kara knew it was from Lucy, but she didn’t know what the other girl had given Lena. She was just as eager to find out as she could imagine Lena was.

Lucy blushed as she grabbed the last item and handed it to Lena with trembling hands. Lena watched her curiously and held on to one of Lucy’s hands as she met her eyes.

“Whatever it is, I’m sure I’ll love it.” She told her with adoration in her eyes and a soft timbre to her voice.

Lena reverently tore through the wrapping paper and studied the object that had just been revealed to her. Kara sat down beside Lena so she could get a better look at it. She wrapped an arm around Lena and rested her head on the the other girl’s shoulder. Lena held a framed news article in her hands. A slightly younger Lena Luthor gazed at the camera. And the headline read:

 

**YOUNGEST LUTHOR MAKES A DIFFERENCE**

**BY LOIS LANE**

 

“You were Lois’s first byline and her first real story. She was so excited to meet you. She flew to Ireland to interview you at your school. Do you remember?”

Lena touched the picture of herself and smiled. “She was the first reporter I had ever met that didn’t already assume the worst about me. She was working for CatCo at the time. I had been working to restore our family’s name since Lex and had just given that speech at a benefit for the Human Rights Campaign. Most people thought it was an insincere publicity stunt. But your sister...she had somehow tracked down all of my anonymous donations to the Trevor Project, GLAAD, The Advocate and other LGBT organizations.”

“I replayed your speech a billion times when she showed it to me. Lois was the only person I was out to, and when she found out that a public figure like you was standing up for people like me...she actually begged Cat Grant to let her do the story.” Lucy explained. Her blushed deepened as she continued. “You were my first celebrity crush, Lena Luthor.”

Lena’s cheeks matched Lucy’s. “I wasn’t a celebrity. And I didn’t do as much as I could have. Or as much as I wish I had.”

“You were sixteen, Lena. And you did a lot for so many people. Myself included.” She anxiously ran her hands through her short hair and let them rest on the back of her neck as her eyes focused from Kara to Lena. “I have the actual newspaper clipping hanging in my room at home. This is just a copy.”

Lena wiped a stray tear from her eye and let her head fall against Kara’s. “I love this, Lucy. You have no idea what it means to me.”

Lucy smiled gently, then it turned into her teasing smirk. “When I told my sister that we were friends...you know what she finally said to me?” She sighed and rolled her eyes. “She said, ‘Hey, Luce, now you can ask her for her autograph yourself.’”

Lena chuckled happily and Kara smiled adoringly. 

“That’s gay!” Sara teased from Kara’s bed across the room.

The tension in the room was broken and everyone started talking excitedly.

“The gifts are done, right? Now it’s karaoke time?” Clark asked.

Kara’s eyes widened and she looked for her sister. Alex smiled at her knowingly.

“Actually, I have one last thing.” Kara said as she stood up.

She walked over to her bed and pulled out a hidden keyboard from beneath it. Then she handed that to Alex.

“I’ve been working on a song I wrote and I thought now was as good a time as any to share it with you.” She smiled at Lena and held her hand. Then reached out toward Lucy and held hers as well. “This is for all of you. You ready Alex?”

Alex started playing and the room grew quiet. 

“This song is called, “ _ You have more friends than you know. _ ”

Alex harmonized with Kara in all the right parts and by the second chorus, Lucy, Sam and Barry joined in. Winn recorded the entire performance on his phone, for which Kara was grateful.

When the song was finished, Lena stood stood up and wrapped Kara in her arms. Then she kissed her cheek. 

“Thank you. For today. For everything.” Lena told her before she stepped away and excused herself to freshen up in the bathroom.

Lucy grinned at Kara. “You’ve got…” She reached up and wiped the lipstick stain off Kara’s cheek with her thumb. “That was amazing, Kara. I loved it.”

Kara smiled back with slightly pink cheeks. “Thank you.”

“Damn Little Danvers…” Sara whistled. “You’ve got a voice on you.”

“Yeah, that was perfect.” Sam added.

“Karaoke will be interesting tonight.” Ava smiled.

“You have no idea! Kara and I have a whole dance number choreographed.” Barry announced proudly.

“Speaking about performances for tonight, I’ve got the perfect dance planned.” Lucy winked.

It didn’t take them long to clean up all the torn wrapping paper and leave for the karaoke bar. The bar wasn’t far from their campus so they walked there. Sara told Kara to walk with her so she could talk to her, so they held up the rear of the group.

“So...you and Ava, huh?” Kara said with a playful smirk. She bumped her hips into Sara’s.

“Yeah, I’m just really glad I didn’t cock out.”

Kara stared at her in confusion.

“Come on, I never understood why people referred to being a chicken as a pussy. We all know which of those is stronger.” Sara gave her a wicked grin. “Anway, I took your advice and asked her out on a date. She said yes. It went really well. Like...really well.”

Kara squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t need or want the details, Sara.”

Sara rolled her eyes. “I didn’t sleep with her. Not the way you’re thinking. She fell asleep in my bed after we talked most of the night. I told her all of my concerns. And she still wants to be with me.”

Sara slowed her steps until she stopped walking and then she pulled Kara to a stop as well. “She doesn’t think I’m too damaged...she wants to give us a chance.”

“Sara! That’s great.”

Sara glanced at the group ahead of them. They were all laughing together in enjoyable companionship. Ava smiled as she spoke to Sam. Sam laughed at something Ava told her. Lena and Alex seemed to be in a deep discussion, but neither looked upset or anything other than happy. Lucy had her arm slung around Winn’s shoulders while Iris was on the other side of her. Winn made large hand gestures that signaled he was telling an embarrassing story that probably involved Kara. Clark and Barry led the group as they talked to each other with easy smiles. And James and Wally were not much further ahead of Sara and Kara. They walked closely together, their hands dangling between them. Every once in a while, their hands would touch and they smiled at each other shyly.

“Looks like little West bats for the winning team.” Sara said into the silence that had overcome them.

“You don’t mean?” Kara frowned. Did that mean that James wasn’t entirely straight as well. She shook her head. She thought that he had been jealous of her and Barry because maybe he liked her. But what if he had been interested in Barry? That was definitely something that Kara had never considered.

“You have the worst gaydar ever, Danvers.” Sara laughed.

“That’s not a real thing.” Kara argued.

“For you it isn’t.” Sara teased which caused Kara to pout at her.

“Seriously, almost no one in our merry group of gays is straight. I still had my doubts about Barry until I saw the heart eyes he keeps giving Iris.”

“I don’t believe you. I think you just assume everyone you meet is gay.”

“No. I assume everyone I meet wants to sleep with me...which is always true.” She glanced at Kara. “Well, almost always.”

“You’re incorrigible. And you have a girlfriend.”

Sara smiled wistfully. “You’re not the only one who got a cute little gift, Kara.” She pulled out a folded note from her back pocket. Last night we slept together...for like real.” She leaned closer to Kara and whispered. “I mean sex.”

“I know.” Kara stammered with embarrassment.

Sara unfolded the note and handed it to Kara to read.

_ This spot reserved for the girlfriend of Sara Lance _

“She hid it under the pillow she slept on last night. I found it this morning.” Sara explained as she took the note back, refolded it, and put it back in her pocket.

“I’m not sure how romantic that is Sara...I mean, the fact that she felt she had to claim her own spot so you didn’t continue to sleep around.”

Sara sighed. “I know I haven’t given her the most faith in me, but the fact that she knows all of that and she still wants to be with me. She still wanted to claim that position. It might not be as romantic as a secret admirer, Kara. But it does mean something to me.”

Kara’s eyes softened. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to devalue your relationship or slut shame you. Sometimes I wish I could be more like everyone else. Be casual about certain things. I…” Kara didn’t know how to explain what she was trying to say. Somehow, the words got stuck in her throat and her thoughts started to frighten her.

“Hey...I get it okay. I know that you...we’re good, okay?” Sara told her with sincerity.

“Are you guys coming or what?!” Winn yelled.

Kara looked up and saw that everyone had stopped walking and stared at them.

“Yeah, we’re coming.” Kara glanced at Sara and they both joined the rest of their friends.

Sara easily wrapped her arm around Ava and kissed her on the cheek. Ava smiled in return, then they kissed swiftly on the lips. Kara fell into step  next to James and Wally. They smiled at her and Kara asked Wally about their visit and what they planned to do the rest of the weekend while they were in town. That started a conversation that took them the rest of the way to the bar.

Barry and Kara started off the night performing  _ Glad You Came  _ and received voluminous applause. Kara sat down beside Lena after their performance.

“I don’t think I’ll ever not be impressed with how well you sing.” Lena told her with a soft smile.

“Thank you.”

Alex sang  _ I Love Rock and Roll.  _

“Seriously. Is there anything the Danvers sisters can’t do?” Iris asked with a proud smile.

“They are classic overachievers. You should have seen them in high school.” Clark told them but the admiration in his voice betrayed him.

The boys all went next. They sang  _ Bye Bye Bye _ . They were pretty entertaining, and Lucy recorded the entire thing on her phone, for prosperity. And blackmail.

“We can’t let the boys outperform us. Who wants to sing the Spice Girls with me?” Ava asked.

“Oh, I’m in!” Iris smiled.

“I don’t want to sing...but I can be your backup dancer.” Sara stated.

“Wait! You dance too. We have to do this. Kara, Alex and Sam you sing with them. Sara and I will dance.”

Lena’s eyes lit up mischievously. “I’m telling you all now. You will be recorded.”

Lucy grinned. “I’d expect nothing less. Here, use my phone.”

They waited until it was their turn to go up on stage. Kara never had so much fun performing before. They had all grown up with the Spice Girls, so not only did they know all the words to  _ Wannabe _ but most of the girls even remembered some of the original choreography. They each happily took a part and actually harmonized quite well together. Lucy and Sara, on the other hand, did not at all stick with the original choreography. Sara did things with her body that Kara didn’t think was possible; she knew she couldn’t bend that way. Maybe she’d stretch more often. Or at all. And Lucy...as always, Lucy mesmerized her. She moved fluidly. During the chorus, Sara and Lucy danced together in an improved tango; all seduction and sex. But during the verses, they danced around each of the ones who sang. 

When Lucy stood behind Kara and wrapped her arms around her as she danced up against her, Kara almost forgot her lines. She knew her voice wavered a little. Suddenly, Lucy slipped between her legs and stood up to face Kara before she turned around and grinded into her. It was only a moment or so before she moved on to the next person and then danced with Sara through the chorus. But Kara still hadn’t recovered until well after the song had finished. She didn’t know what she should feel or what it all meant or if it was good or bad. All she knew was that she was glad that it was over so she didn’t have to think about it any more.

They weaved through the cheering crowd and made their way back to the table where Lena and the boys awaited them. When they approached the table, all the boys stood up and fell to their knees in a over-dramatic bow.

“We are not worthy.” They chanted in unison.

Kara shook her head in amusement and shoved at Barry as she squeezed past him. She plopped down next to Lena who had a strange look on her face.

“Are you okay? Were we bad?” Kara asked anxiously.

Lena shook her head and swallowed thickly. She blinked owlishly a few times.

Ava sat down on the other side of her and laughed. She waved her hand in front of Lena’s face. “Well girls, I think we broke her.”

“She better have survived that. I have one more song planned before we go.” Lucy said as she sat beside Kara. “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable up there, Kara. I really get into it when I dance.”

Kara nodded dumbly at that. Finally, Lena recovered from her stupor. She cleared her throat and looked around the table, she seemed surprised that it was now full of people again.

“That was…” Her voice came out hoarse, so she cleared her throat. “Good.”

“Just good?” Sara smirked.

“You guys definitely beat the boys.”

“Hey, Kara!” A voice not from their group disrupted them.

Kara looked around toward where the voice was coming from. She groaned. It was Mike from her Journalism class. A sudden, sharp pain radiated up her shin.

“Ow…!” Kara glanced across the table at her sister. “Did you just kick me?”

“He’s the one I punched our first week here...the one who…”

Kara nodded. She understood what Alex meant. He had been the one who insulted Lena. She knew she couldn’t stand the guy. He tried to ask her out a few times and she kept turning him down, but he didn’t seem to be able to take “No” for an answer.

He was almost to them now.

Kara sighed and quickly announced. “He’s in one of my classes, he won’t stop asking me out.”

“What?” Lena and Lucy both looked around just in time for Mike to approach the table.

“Hey, Kara. You were really great up there. Both times.” He said as he ignored everyone else at the table.

“Mike.” James grunted with disdain.

“Oh, James. Hi. You were okay, too. Good job.” He looked back at Kara, then toward Lena. “Can I...Can we talk?”

“I’m here with my friends, Mike. I’ll see you in class next week.”

“It’ll only take a minute. Let me buy you a drink.” He countered.

“She said she’d talk to you in class. That means, adios.” Alex said as she waved her hand dismissively.

He glanced at her and his eyes widened. “It’s you.”

“Yes, it’s me. And I believe that my sister told you that she didn’t want to talk to you. So, unless you want me to re-adjust that nose of yours again…”

“I should have reported you.” He sneered at her.

James stood up and so did Clark and Barry. Mike stepped back and raised his hands in defeat. 

“Look, I just wanted to talk. You can call all your lap dogs off.”

“I believe she already said ‘No,’ dude. So leave with whatever dignity you have left.” Sara stood up and stepped toward him menacingly.

“And just because you can’t seem to get it through your brain…’No’ means ‘No.’” Barry told him.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Whatever, you’re not worth it anyway.”

He slithered away and Kara finally exhaled.

“Thanks guys.”

“How long has that jerk been bothering you?” Alex wondered.

Kara shrugged.

“He’s been creeping around for a few weeks. I try to stay by Kara in class so he doesn’t approach too often. And Ms. Grant can’t stand him, so she keeps him in line for the most part.” James explained.

“Alex...did you say you punched him?” Sara asked with admiration.

“First week here, I caught him mouthing off about Lena.” 

Kara’s eyes cut to Lena’s and the girl looked uncomfortable. 

“That’s the guy, Alex? Now I am glad you busted his nose.” Lena muttered angrily.

Kara gently set her hand on Lena’s thigh and tilted her head a little to get the other girl’s attention.

“Hey, he hasn’t said anything about you at all. I think he’s over it.” Kara tried to ease her concern.

Lena huffed. “You think I’m upset that some idiot insulted me behind me back? Kara, he’s creepy and he’s been harassing you. And you never said anything about it.”

Kara removed her hand from Lena’s thigh as if she’d been burned. She felt ashamed. “I didn’t say anything because I was handling it.”

“Handling it how?” Lucy asked with barely concealed hostility.

Kara looked around the table and frowned. “Why is everyone mad at me?”

Lucy relaxed instantly and Lena exhaled deeply. Alex pursed her lips together and furrowed her brows.

“We’re not mad at you, Kara, we’re....concerned about you. Sometimes, sometimes when you’re nice to people it gives off the wrong impression and you are far too nice to people a lot of the time. That’s something we all love about you. But sometimes, if you’re nice to someone who likes you...they assume that you’re interested in them.” Sam explained carefully and with compassion.

Kara thought about it, then her eyes widened in fear. “If he’s my secret admirer…”

“Kara, honey, no.” Sam continued. “Think about the gifts you got. Think about what kind of person would do that.”

Kara smiled. “They’re thoughtful, and kind, and romantic, and creative, and wonderful. Adorably cheesy and maybe even a little shy. Also, I think they’re selfless, they’d have to be. I guess. Not that I’ve dwelled on it too much.”

Lucy giggled and Lena smiled warmly at her. Sam’s expression was open and honest.

“Does Mike fit any of those qualities?”

“Absolutely, not.”

“Kara. It’s okay to not be...nice to him. If he bothers you, you don’t have to be polite. You can tell him to stop.” Lucy told her.

“And tell Cat too. So she can report him if he continues to harass you.” Lena added. “She can be rather intimidating if she wants to be.”

“And you’ll tell us, if he doesn’t stop. Right?” Alex asked. Then she looked at James. “Right?”

He nodded, quickly. “Yes, absolutely. I’ve always had her back.”

“I know. Which is why I actually thought you might have been my admirer.” Kara admitted.

“What? Um...Kara, I thought you knew.” He told her with a somber expression. “I’m gay. And also I’m aromatic.”

“See, no gaydar! I told you!” Sara slapped her hand down on the table triumphantly.

“Leave her alone, babe.” Ava chastised her and the smirk slid off Sara’s face.

Alex smirked in response to that though. “Wow, you’re already whipped. Who would have guessed?”

Sara glared at Alex and was about to respond when Lucy’s name was announced over the speakers.

“Shit. It’s my turn to perform.” Lucy stood up. “Lena, you’re coming up there with me. Grab your chair.”

Lena stared at her with a horrified expression on her face. “No. I never agreed to that.”

“Kara, tell Lena to get her lovely ass up there on that stage with me.”

Kara looked from Lucy to Lena and back again. “Lena, she was so excited about her performance. Please, just go up there.”

Lena’s eyes softened at Kara’s plea and she glanced at her friends around the table. Lena considered it and nodded her head in determination. Then she grabbed her chair and walked to the stage where Lucy already awaited her. 

“This is for the special birthday girl.” Lucy announced as Lena sat her chair down and took a seat.

As soon as the opening notes of  _ Pony  _ came through the speakers, Sara and Alex grabbed their phones. Kara tried to glare at them but she knew it was a lost cause.

Lucy started out on the floor basically twerking into the ground and suddenly, the entire room was silent except for her singing and the music. She break danced for a few seconds before she flirtatiously made her way over to Lena, who sat uncomfortably in the chair. Lucy rolled her body and shook her ass to the beat of the music. Then she sauntered behind Lena’s chair and grinded into it. 

Kara’s mouth dropped open and she heard a groan coming from someone nearby. Alex almost dropped her phone and cursed before properly filming the performance again. Lucy now stood in front of Lena as her hips swung suggestively. Then she climbed onto Lena and wrapped her legs around her as she grinded down into her with her hips. She rotated in Lena’s lap and faced the audience as she continued to sing. With the microphone in own hand, Lucy reached behind her with the other. She grabbed the back of Lena’s neck and seemed to let herself get lost in the music as she swayed her body to the thrump of the bass and into the girl beneath her. 

“Fuck it...I am so gay.” Sam breathed out.

Alex actually did drop her phone. Instead of looking for it this time, she glanced at Sam briefly, then she watched the rest of the performance with rapt attention. Iris blindly, and unnecessarily, covered Wally’s eyes. On stage, Lucy trailed her empty hand down Lena’s body until she grabbed her hand. She ran Lena’s hand sensually down her own body as she continued to gyrate her hips into her. 

The song ended and the room remained silent. Kara finally blinked and swallowed. Sam took a huge drink from whichever glass of alcohol was closest to her. Alex finally found her phone. They remained silent until Lucy and Lena made it back to the table. Lucy carried the chair because it looked like Lena had trouble standing upright; let alone walking.

“That was…” Winn trailed off.

“You’re really talented.” Iris complimented her, even she looked a little flustered.

“That was awesome. Great party, Lena. Ava and I are going to head out.” Sara said.

She stood quickly and pulled Ava up with her.

“Could you…” Alex gestured to her phone.

Sara smirked and nodded. “I got you.”

They made a hasty exit. Clark and Winn left not long after. Kara still felt uneasy and, for the first time all night, just wanted the night to be over.

“It is getting late.” She faked a yawn that turned into a real one.

“Aww, you’re tired.” Lena said; finally having found her voice.

They gathered their things shortly afterwards, and started to make their way back toward campus. This time on the way home, Barry and Iris held hands and snuck a few kisses in here and there. Kara smiled at that. She was happy for them. They were adorable together.

Wally and James walked together again. Alex seemed to awkwardly be avoiding Sam, so she clung to Kara. Kara was more than okay to avoid Lena and Lucy for a few minutes so she could get her head on right again. Confusion and unease clouded her mind. She felt safe with Alex’s arm around her and enjoyed the comfortable silence between them.

Sam, Lucy and Lena were whispering together in the distance. Every once in awhile, they would cast a glance behind them and Kara would smile at them genuinely. She wondered what they were talking about. But part of her was scared to find out. Somehow, she knew things had shifted tonight and lately, change had been a good thing. Was it too much to hope for that trend to continue? 

When Lena glanced at her and smiled a wide, happy smile, Kara knew the answer to her question. Things would always change, but she didn’t actually fear it anymore. Lena returned her attention to her conversation, and a moment later, Lucy’s eyes found Kara. They were bright with laughter and unadulterated joy. Perhaps contentment. That’s what she saw in their eyes. They were content. And Kara took comfort in that. It eased her mind and made her feel it, too.

Content.

When the group arrived back on campus, they said their goodbyes and started to go their separate ways. 

“I guess this is goodnight.” Sam smiled. “Happy Birthday, Lena.”

“Thank you. And thank you for your gift, I look forward to hearing it.” Lena told her as she hugged her.

As they pulled apart, Sam hugged Lucy goodnight and Lena walked toward Kara and Alex.

“I suppose I should thank you for your gifts as well.” Lena smirked briefly until her smile turned genuine. “I had a great time tonight, Alex. Thank you.”

“No problem. Actually, I think I’m going to crash with you guys tonight though.” Alex announced and shot Kara a panicked plea.

“Yeah, I told her she could. I hope that’s alright.” Kara covered for her sister but wondered why she needed to at all.

Lena looked from sister to sister with concern, although she retained her easy smile. “Of course, you’re welcome to have your sister stay over. It’s your room too, Kara.”

Kara shrugged. “I know. I just should have asked first, it’s your birthday after all.”

Lena rolled her eyes. “And my day was perfect. It still is.”

“What’s going on?” Lucy asked.

“Alex is staying over tonight.” Kara announced.

“Oh.” Sam looked dejected.

Lucy looked to Lena and then back at Kara. “I guess I’ll crash in my own room tonight.”

“Nonsense. You can share my bed.” Lena told her and Lucy smiled more brightly.

Sam looked awkwardly toward Alex and then her eyes settled on Kara. “You did great throwing everything together tonight, Kara. I had so much fun. And you’re song...you did great.” Sam hugged Kara warmly and kissed her cheek which caused Kara to blush.

Alex mumbled something incoherently and stalked off. Kara watched as Sam’s smile faltered.

“I’m just gonna…” Kara gestured toward her sister and ran off after her.

After they were several paces away and hopefully out of hearing distance, Kara finally spoke. 

“What was that about and why are you avoiding Sam?” Kara asked while they continued to walk to her room.

“Sam might be gay.”

“Last time I checked, so were you, Alex. So what’s your problem? Shouldn’t you be supporting her as she tries to figure it all out?”

Alex sighed loudly and nervously ran her hands through her hair. “I’ve had the biggest crush on her since we met, Kara. Do you know what it’s like to crush on your presumedly straight best friend?”

Kara frowned at her sister and waited for Alex to realize what she said.

“Right, you do. Okay, reverse that. Say back in high school if you had always thought Winn was gay and you tried to talk yourself out of crushing on him. But then you found out he was actually straight and now you might have somewhat of a chance...how freaked out would you be?”

Kara thought about it. She hadn’t felt anything more than friendly towards Winn in so long now that it was hard to believe she ever did. Then she thought about Lena, who she had assumed was straight and then recently learned she wasn’t. How did that make her feel? Somehow, the knowledge, though it didn’t actually change anything between them, made her feel special and happy. 

“Kara...I’m freaking out because the girl I’m basically in love with just casually admitted that being with a girl was a possibility. I am drunk, Sam is gay, and we are roommates. Do you really see me not making a fool out of myself tonight if you make me be alone with her? I am shit at actually flirting with pretty girls.”

“How’d you get Sara interested in you?”

“I don’t know. I spoke to her. Sam is not the same as Sara. I don’t just want to sleep with her, I want to date her.”

“Then ask her out.”

“I plan to! Just not when I’m inebriated and when she may just be curious. I won’t be her college experiment.”

“Sam wouldn’t do that.”

“Experiment?”

“Use someone. She may be curious, but don’t you think that if she just wanted to figure things out, she’d go for someone that just wanted to sleep with her?”

“I guess.”

“If you really want to know what she’s thinking, ask her.” Kara said as she unlocked the door to her room. “Or if you don’t want to be that direct, ask Sara. Apparently, she has a good gaydar.”

Kara dug around her dresser and tossed Alex some pajamas to sleep in. Alex sat on Kara’s bed in silent contemplation. While Alex ruminated about her life choices, Kara proceeded to get ready for bed. 

She was in the bathroom and had just finished washing off her face when she heard Lena and Lucy walk into her dorm room.

“What the hell was that Alex?” Lucy demanded as the door slammed shut.

Kara dried her face and left the bathroom.

“Hey.” Lena greeted her shyly.

Kara smiled at her and waved slightly. Lena smiled back.

“Kara did you know that your sister here, made Sam cry. She thinks she did something wrong, but for the life of her she can’t figure out what it was. And honestly, I don’t have a clue either.” Lucy asked with an accusatory tone.

“Relax, Luce. Don’t get mad at Kara about it.” Lena chastised.

All the anger immediately deflated from Lucy. Lena sat on her bed and played awkwardly with an imaginary spot on the comforter. Kara fidgeted with her hands briefly before she walked over to her bed and sat beside Alex.

Lucy started to pace around the room. “I’m sorry. I just...she was so distraught and everything seemed absolutely fine all night. And then all of a sudden, Alex is avoiding her like the plague. What am I missing?”

Kara glanced at Alex who seemed intent on remaining quiet. With a sigh, Kara flung herself back on her bed dramatically.

“Why are lesbians so freaking complicated? Cheese and rice!” 

Lucy stopped pacing and stared at her. 

Lena raised an eyebrow. “I’m going to need some context, please.”

Kara sat up and looked at her. “Which part?”

“I’m sure the lesbian comment will take more explaining, so let’s start with...cheese and rice…?”

Alex smiled and shook her head with a chuckle. “That’s what Kara says when she really wants to swear but still can’t bring herself to do it.”

“Jesus Christ?” Lucy asked with a slight smile and appeared to have finally calmed down. 

She sat down beside Lena.

“Is Sam straight?” Kara blurted out.

Alex’s eyes widened. Lucy and Lena glanced at each other.

“If she confided in you and is not ready to say anything, please don’t break her confidence. It’s not any of my business. It’s just...tonight...she...she said something that might lead one to believe that she…”

“Is about as straight as wet spaghetti.” Alex finished for her floundering sister.

“And like we said, it isn’t our business except that Alex is in love with her and slightly freaked out about it because up until now we thought she was straight.”

Alex blushed and smacked her sister in the arm. Hard.

“Ouch.” Kara shoved her back. 

Lucy burst out laughing and Lena shook her head with a smile. 

“Alex get your shit together and make your move. She’s been waiting for you for weeks.” Lucy told her. “Months if we’re being honest.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Huh.” Kara breathed out. “Sara was right when she said our whole group is basically gay.”

“Is anyone in our group actually straight?” Alex asked as her gaze bore into her sister.

“Well, I mean...you did see Barry and Iris tonight. I think they’re both straight.”

“Yeah, they’re our token straights.” Lucy said with a grin.

“Every group needs some I guess.” Alex smiled. 

Kara shifted to better face her sister. “How are we going to get you your girl?”

“She’s not my girl.” Alex argued even though she blushed profusely.

“And she won’t be with that attitude.” Lucy told her honestly.

“I have a box of wine you can use if you feel so inclined.” Lena teased. “You could order in and have a nice, cozy romantic dinner together.”

“You’re sure that she’s into me? Because I don’t want to ruin what we have if she doesn’t feel the same way.” Alex replied.

Lucy and Lena shared another odd look before they glanced at Kara and then settled their eyes on Alex. 

“I understand your hesitation, Alex. But she told me herself. Okay?” Lucy explained. “Do you really think she’d have been so distraught tonight if she wasn’t just a little bit in love with you, too?”

Alex sighed sadly. “I hate that I upset her. But I’m not ready to tell her how I feel tonight...I want to be sober for it. She deserves to know that I mean it.”

“At least text her. Let her know she didn’t do anything wrong.” Lena told her.

Alex nodded before she reached for her phone. She started texting with Sam so Lena and Lucy got ready for bed. Kara was already ready to go to sleep, so she snuggled in beside Alex and crawled under the blankets. Alex was still on her phone with a dopey smile when the other girls finished their bedtime routine and climbed into Lena’s bed. 

Lena laid on the side closest to Kara’s bed and shifted to face her. “Kara?”

The light was still on, so Kara looked at her from her position in the bed. “Yes?”

“Thank you for tonight. It wasn’t just the best birthday I ever had, it was faraway my favorite day.” 

Lena's voice shook as she spoke and it was laced with adoration and gratitude. 

“You’re welcome, Lena. You deserve all the wonderful things in the world.” Kara told her sincerely.

Silence enveloped the room. Eventually, Kara reached over and clicked the light off and thrusted them into darkness. Only the illumination from Alex’s screen intruded upon the tranquility of the moment. Several minutes later, Kara heard someone shift on Lena’s bed as it creaked beneath the weight of the movement.

“Kara!” Lucy whined. “Come over here and sleep by us.”

Kara felt Alex’s eyes suddenly on her. “I doubt there will be enough room.”

“There is. Remember that time when you, me, Sam and Lena all cuddled on my bed?” Alex told her.

Kara slapped at her blindly for her stupid betrayal.

“Wanky.” Lucy’s voice echoed off the walls.

Kara swore she could her the other girl smirking. “It wasn’t what you’re thinking. Mind out of the gutter.”

Lena chuckled and Alex coughed awkwardly. 

“Pleeeease, Kara.” Lucy begged. “I am so used to sleeping with you that I don’t think I will be able to without you.”

“Wanky.” Alex whispered so Kara hit her. “Ow.”

Kara sat up in bed and brought her legs around the edge so they dangled off the bed. “Lena...do you mind if I sleep with you guys?”

The brief pause before Lena answered was almost enough to make Kara think she was not okay with it. But before she could take back her question, Lena replied.

“You never have to ask, Kara.”

“So...is that a yes?”

“For the love of…” Alex muttered then kicked Kara off the bed.

She fell to the ground with a loud yelp and instantly the light turned on. Kara blushed as Lena’s and Lucy’s concerned eyes fell on her crumpled up form.

“I’m fine.” She groaned before they could ask. 

“Goodnight, sis. I love you.” Alex said in the most sickening sweet voice.

Kara climbed over Lena and settled between her and Lucy. Lena shut the light off and turned to face Kara. She wrapped her arms around Kara’s waist and nestled up against Kara’s back. Kara did the same to Lucy, as she pulled the smaller girl into her. As much as Kara actually enjoyed cuddling, this felt different somehow. Better. She felt safe and cared for. She was literally surrounded by her two favorite people and she was beyond exhausted. But a thought suddenly occurred to her and it couldn’t wait until morning.

“Lena…”

“Hmmm?” 

Kara shivered as she felt Lena’s breath on her neck.

“About today...Sara’s books.” She pulled Lucy closer to her out of fear. “I promise you I never mentioned to her that you were gay. I would never do that.”

Alex laughed harshly from the other side of the room and Kara felt Lucy’s body shake in silent laughter as well. Lena pulled Kara into her and kissed her neck. 

“I know you didn’t, Kara. I guess I wasn’t as subtle as I should have been.” She admitted as she smiled against her.

Alex’s laughter became uncontrollable. The rest of the girls finally gave in and laughed along with her. Eventually, they all surrendered to exhaustion and fell asleep. Content and happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lesbian Hades is real! Please read the book Dark Wife or if you prefer...read the awesome retelling of that story as SuperCorp "The Power of Deliverance" by Sten06!!! :)  
> Also, there is only one chapter left. I was going to separate this one into two chapters but couldn't find the proper place to end it so it's rather long instead. Hope you don't mind!  
> And for anyone interested, I do have Sam's playlist for Lena as well as all the books that Lucy and Kara bought her that I can post as a note at the end of the story.


	4. Chapter 4

Things started to slowly change after the night of Lena’s birthday party. The most noticeable one was that Lucy slept over every night and all three of them continued to sleep in Lena’s bed. At first, it was only Kara in the middle. But after a few days, Lucy insisted on a turn. And then Lena, who still remained more reserved than the other two, wanted her turn in the middle as well.

Kara found it amusing the way that Lena continued to open up, even if it was just to Kara and Lucy (and sometimes Alex and Sam). There were times when they really got Lena laughing, and she would do so with her mouth wide open rather than covering her mouth with her hand like she used to. Maybe to the rest of the world it was a small thing, but to Kara, it was huge. 

As for Lucy, she was one of the genuinely funniest people Kara had ever met. Which meant that Kara was always happy when Lucy was around. And the fact that Lucy loved to cuddle was probably one of the things Kara most enjoyed about her. These past few weeks she had gotten even more affectionate with Kara. She really appreciated it because as much as Lena continuously opened up to them, in some ways she still seemed untouchable or at least, Kara was aware of how uncomfortable Lena still seemed to be about her invasion of space. And as much as Kara always tried to respect people’s boundaries, especially Lena’s, having Lucy around made that impulse easier. 

Somedays, Kara would get home from her late class and Lucy would be midway through a very expressive rendition of her day, and Lena would be laughing in earnest. Those were her favorite days. She reveled in the domesticity of it all. She loved seeing them happy. It was in those moments that she took it all in. But she didn’t feel like she was on the outside looking in, because Lucy lit up when she walked into the room and paused her story to hug her and kiss her cheek. Then Lena patted the bed beside her so Kara could join her and hear the rest of Lucy’s witty diatribe. Afterwards, they would ask her about her day.

It was perfect. She felt safe and seen. But as she continued to see the growing affection and easy touches between Lucy and Lena, she started to worry that things might change. And it wasn’t so much out of jealousy, because when she saw them together, she knew they fit and that they were happy. Instead, she was terrified of being left behind again. 

But it had been this way for days now, so she held out hope that things would remain the same. Because she still had a secret admirer and she still had both of them. And she had Thanksgiving with her friends and family to distract her as well.

Lena already left to run a few errands in preparation for their trip to Midvale for Thanksgiving. Lucy and Kara decided not to join her because they were both tired and wanted to sleep in. When they couldn’t get back to sleep, they continued to lounge around and cuddle in Lena’s unmade bed.

A constant and annoying knock on the door finally drew Kara out of her lazy contentment. She left the comfort of the bed and opened the door for a very excited looking Alex Danvers. After she let Alex in, she climbed back in bed with Lucy. Her sister watched them closely with interest as she sat down on Kara’s pristinely made bed.

“Guess who finally had a date last night?” She asked excitedly.

“You did it?!” Kara jumped from Lena’s bed to her own. “Tell me everything,”

Before Alex could say a word, Lucy’s phone buzzed on the bedside table and they all looked at it.

“Sam” Lucy stated with a smile. “I’m guessing I’ll hear her version of events, so I’ll catch you both later.”

She kissed Kara on the cheek on her way out. The kiss was so close to her mouth that it couldn’t have been an accident. It made Kara smile as a blush covered her face.

“I think you have some interesting news to tell me as well.” Alex commented when Lucy was gone.

“What do you mean? What do I have to tell you?”

“What’s going on with you and Lane?” Alex pointed toward the door. “And you and Lena for that matter.”

“I don’t know!”

Alex stared at her.

“You might want to get on that.” Alex told her.

“I will.”

“Soon.”

“I will.” Kara shoved at her sister. “Now, tell me about Sam.”

Alex grinned and her entire face lit up. “She’s amazing. I tried cooking her dinner.”

“You cooked for her?” Kara raised an eyebrow.

“I said I tried.”

“Sorry...continue.” Kara gestured absent-mindedly with her hand.

“We drank Lena’s box of wine. And I told her that I really, really liked her. She said she liked me back and then we kissed.  _ A lot. _ ”

“Alex, that’s great. I’m so happy for you. Sam in wonderful.”

“She’s perfect.” Alex sighed happily.

“So...you’re taking your girlfriend home for Thanksgiving.” Kara teased with a smirk.

“She’s not my girlfriend yet. I mean, she’s not...we haven’t...I wanted to come out to Mom and Dad first. That way if it goes badly, they can’t blame it on Sam. My being gay, I mean.”

“I don’t think it’ll go bad. They love you.”

“I know. I’m sure it’ll be fine. That doesn’t mean I’m any less terrified to say the words out loud.”

“I’ll be there when you do it, if you want me to be. You don’t have to go through it alone.” Kara hugged her sister. “You’re not alone.”

Alex sighed. “I appreciate that. But I want to do this by myself.”

After they caught but a bit more, Alex helped Kara back hers, Lucy’s and Lena’s stuff in her car. Alex and Sam’s stuff was already in trunk, so as soon as Lena was back they would be ready to leave. Just as they were about to go back to their dorm, Kara saw Ava in the parking lot. She told Alex she would catch up with her later and went to talk to her friend.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you all week! I’m glad things worked out with you and Sara. You both seem really happy. Are you happy?” Kara asked after she gave Ava a long hug.

“I am. We had a long overdue talk. I never realized that when I called things off with her back in high school, she thought we broke up and that I didn’t want to be with her. Especially, after I refused to be her roommate this year. Apparently, she had been trying to get over me all this time.”

“Wow. Really? I’m sorry you both had to go through all of that, but at least it all worked out in the end.”

Ava nodded with a smile. “It did. And it can work out for you, too. Talk to Lena and Lucy. Even if you haven’t figured everything out on your side, let them know where you stand. Maybe they can help you. They love you and if you love them, you owe them honesty. Whatever that means for you.”

“You’re right.” Kara sighed. “Alex told me something similar. I think I might this weekend, since we’re all going to be spending so much time together at my house.”

“Good for you. I hope everything works out. Call me if you need me.” Aava smiled at her and hugged her. “Have a Happy Thanksgiving. I’ll see you when you get back.”

Two hours later, they were on their way to Midvale for Thanksgiving dinner. Alex drove while Sam was shotgun. They held hands the entire way and Kara couldn’t have been happier for them. In the back seat, Kara sat in the middle between Lucy and Lena. Lucy’s legs bounced nervously as Alex pulled onto the road that would lead them to the Danvers’ homestead.

Kara softly put a hand on her knee to steady her. “It’ll be fine. They’ll love you.”

Lucy made a strangled grunt in response.

“If Mrs. Danvers was kind to me after knowing who I was, you’re golden, Lucy. I promise.” Lena told her sincerely.

“I just...it’s been a while since I had dinner with a mom. Even though she’s not my mom...I just really want her to like me.” Lucy admitted.

“She’ll adore you. Just like I do.” Kara told her with a smile.

Lucy relaxed slightly and rested her head against Kara’s shoulder. A few minutes later, Alex pulled into the driveway and slowed to a stop.

“Ready or not.” Alex said as she exhaled loudly.

“Not.” Lucy breathed out quietly.

“Why don’t you and Kara go on ahead. We’ll unload the car and give you some space.” Sam said as she kissed Alex’s cheek.

Lucy climbed out of the car so that Kara could exit. Lena walked around the vehicle and hugged Lucy tightly, then gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

“Sorry, I wanted to comfort you in the car but you were too far away.” She told her as she pulled away.

Lucy gave her a lopsided smile that made Kara feel like she was intruding on them for the first time. She didn’t like the feeling. And she didn’t know where it came from.

“Thanks, Lena.” Lucy turned toward Kara. “I’m ready.”

Kara smiled at her. “Good. It’ll be fine. I’m going to go say ‘Hi’ and then we’ll introduce you all.”

Kara and Alex walked toward their home and smiled widely when Eliza and Jeremiah rushed out the front door to greet them.

“I’ve missed you girls so much!” Jeremiah greeted as he wrapped Kara in a hug and lifted her off the ground.

He twirled them in a slow circle and Kara was reminded why his hugs were always her favorite.

“I missed you, too.” She said when she was safely back on her feet. 

They switched places and she hugged Eliza next. When they finished their proper greetings and caught up briefly, Eliza looked out toward the car where Sam, Lena and Lucy stood awkwardly.

“Come on girls.” She said kindly with her arms open. “Lena, it’s wonderful to see you again.”

Lena smiled broadly as her cheeks tinted pink.

“It’s lovely to see you again, Mrs. Danvers.”

“Call me, Eliza. We’re practically family already.” She told her as she hugged her. “And who are these other lovely ladies?”

Lucy stumbled forward and extended her hand. “I’m Lucy.”

Eliza bypassed the proffered hand and hugged her. “We hug in this family.”

“Oh, I’m well aware.” Lucy smiled into the embrace. “I’ve met Kara.”

Jeremiah laughed at that. “I like you already. I’m Jeremiah. I’ve heard a lot about all of you.” He glanced from Lena to Lucy then his eyes landed on Sam. “And you must be Sam.”

Sam smiled shyly. “Yes, that’s me.”

He hugged her then pulled away and his eyes sparkled. “Sam...what’s green and has four wheels?”

“I...ah…”

“Grass. I lied about the wheels.” He said with a proud smile that made both Alex and Kara groan.

“Dad, please no more jokes. We don’t want to scare them off.” Alex whined.

“Oh, come on. My jokes are great.” He smiled and addressed Lucy. “How do you make holy water?”

Lucy smirked. “I don’t know. How?”

“You boil the Hell out of it.”

Lena, Lucy and Sam chuckled along with him.

“I already love your Dad.” Lena whispered into Kara’s ear.

Hearing the pure joy in her roommate’s voice made Kara feel guilty about not appreciating Jeremiah as much as she should.

“I’ve got a joke…” Alex said with a smirk. “How do you know when Dad is telling a joke? Because he’s the only one laughing.”

“Hey!”

Everyone laughed.

“Don’t laugh at that.” He chastised his wife even though he had a grin on his face. “Did I already mention how much I missed my girls?”

After they talked a little while longer, the girls grabbed their belongings and brought them up to Kara’s and Alex’s old room. Eliza followed them.

“If there isn’t enough room, we can pull out the sofa into a bed.” She told them.

“This will be fine, Mom. It’s already bigger than our dorm rooms are.” Alex said her with a smile.

“I just want everyone to feel comfortable while they’re here. Let me know if you need anything.” Eliza replied.

“We will.” Kara answered.

“Actually, Mom….” Alex took a deep breath. “I was wondering if I could talk to you and Dad.”

“Yes, of course, dear.” Concern etched its way onto Eliza’s features. 

Kara hugged her sister before she left the room. “It’d be fine. And I love you.”

“Thanks.”

When Alex and Eliza left, the room was thrust into an awkward silence. Sam sat on Alex’s old bed and traced designs on the comforter with her fingers.

“Do you think your parents will be okay with Alex being gay?” Lucy asked what they all were wondering.

Kara nodded. “I think they will be wonderful about it. Alex has nothing to worry about.”

Lena, Lucy and Sam seemed to relax after that. Kara sat beside Sam and hugged her.

“I didn’t get to properly say anything to you earlier, but I’m so happy for you and Alex. I think you’re amazing and that you’re perfect for her.”

Sam sighed dreamily. “She makes me so happy.”

Nearly thirty minutes later, Alex came up the stairs and stood quietly in the doorway.

“Alex?”

Kara was concerned that her sister was crying but didn’t know what to make of it. She rushed to her and engulfed her into a warm embrace.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

Alex broke down in her arms as she trembled violently.

“Did it go bad? Alex, you’re scaring me.”

Alex inhaled shakily and shook her head. 

“It went far better than expected. I didn’t realize how terrified I was...but they love me. They still love me. Nothing changed.”

Kara kissed her forehead and looked into her eyes. “Everything changed, Alex. You finally get to be yourself. You’re free.”

Alex started to cry again and the rest of their friends surrounded them and hugged them fiercely. They stayed that way for several minutes before they regrettably broke apart. Alex wiped at her eyes and shook her head in embarrassment.

“I’m going to go get washed up. Mom said dinner will be ready in an hour if anyone wants to help set the table.” Alex told them before she dismissed herself to go to the bathroom.

Kara and her friends helped finish dinner and then set the table for Eliza. Jeremiah popped open a bottle of wine with Lena’s help.

“I’ve never had this kind before. I’m not sure I can even pronounce it.” He told her fondly. “You didn’t have to bring us anything. But thank you.”

“I was taught that a guest never goes anywhere empty handed. Old habits die hard.” Lena replied.

“We’ll just have to get you accustomed to some new habits then.” He smiled at her. “What do a grape and a rabbit have in common?”

“I don’t know, what?”

“They’re both purple. Except for the rabbit.”

Lena smirked and raised an eyebrow. “Not all grapes are purple you know.”

Jeremiah frowned. “You’re right.”

Lena bit her lip. “So...a termite walked into the bar and asked ‘Is the bartender here?”

Jeremiah’s eyebrows furrowed in concentration and then the biggest smile crossed his face. “Is the bar  _ tender _ here, because it was a termite! I love it. Can I steal that one?”

Lena smiled. “Go ahead. I just looked it up before dinner.”

He patted her on the back. “Kara! I love your friends.”

Lena blushed and Kara smiled happily.

“So do I.” She replied fondly.

Eventually Winn, Clark and Winn’s mom came over bearing even more food. They brought pies, green bean casserole and some soda. When everyone finally gathered around the table to start their Thanksgiving dinner, Jeremiah cut the turkey and gave a speech.

“I love how our little family continues to grow each year. I am so grateful for every one of you and as we go around the table to tell what we are each most thankful for this year, I would like to start. I am most thankful for my wife and my two amazing daughters. You both make me immensely proud of the women you have become. And the wonderful friends you have around our table are a great testament to who you are as people. I love you both endlessly and without condition. You are my life.”

Both Alex and Kara wiped at their tear filled eyes, but realized that they weren’t the only ones crying. Everyone at the table was as well.

“Way to go, Jeremiah. When you aren’t making everyone laugh, you’re making them cry.” Eliza teased. “I’ll go next. Just like my husband said, I am so proud of my family....my girls. Alex and Kara, you both look so much happier than I’ve ever seen you. And all I have ever wanted is for my girls to be happy. So this year, I am thankful for your friends because somehow they have made you smile more in one day than I think you have in your whole lives. And I really need to see more of that. All the time.”

Winn’s mom went next. “I’m always thankful for the Danvers family and all they have done for me and my family over the years. And I once again, am thankful for the best sons a mother could ask for.”

Winn stood up next. “I’m not thankful for anything. I’ve had a pretty shitty year.” He tried to keep a straight face but smiled. “Clark, thank you. You are the love of my life and this last year has been the best I ever had. Thanks to all the people around this table, especially my mom. And Kara, you are my best friend.”

Lucy stood up and took a deep breath before she released it slowly. “I am thankful to Mr. and Mrs. Danvers for welcoming us into your home and treating us like your own family. I wish you understood how much it means to me. I am thankful for all my new friends who have taught me the importance and reality of unconditional love. But mostly, I am grateful for Kara and Lena. I don’t even have the proper words to express what either of you mean to me.”

Kara grabbed Lucy’s hand and held it when she sat down. She smiled at Lucy and blushed when Lucy smiled back at her with adoration in her eyes. When Kara stood up, she didn’t let go of Lucy’s hand.

“For the first time in my life...I have felt seen and valued in a way I didn’t know I needed. I am forever thankful to my family and my new friends because I am the happiest I have been since I was thirteen. And although, a part of me feels guilty for that, I know that my parents would be truly happy for me. I love everyone at this table.”

When she sat down, she felt Lena’s hand on her shoulder. Lena stood up but smiled a special smile just for Kara before she addressed the entire room.

“I am thankful for found family. I never understood the significance of that phrase because I never had friends, let alone ones who would be so close to me that I would see them as the kind of family I always wished I had. Like Lucy said, love without condition is new to me and to know that I now have friends who love me that way and whom I love…” Lena’s breath hitched and her voice wavered. “I used to think that I wasn’t built for love. I hadn’t really experienced it, in a healthy way, so I didn’t know if I would be capable of it. Of loving someone or that I would trust that someone loved me. I used to think that I didn’t deserve it. But...I love more than one person and I know that people love me. And for that I will be forever grateful.”

“Oh, sweetie.” Eliza cooed and looked torn between leaving her chair to hug Lena or sitting there and allowing Lena to recover from her obviously sudden embarrassment.

Lena sat down quickly and Kara kissed her on the cheek. “You are absolutely capable of love and you deserve it.”

Lena smiled softly and ducked her head as blush painted her cheeks. Alex stood up and cleared her throat.

“I have the best parents anyone could ever ask for, and the greatest sister. But this year, I am thankful to finally be my true self around you all. I am thankful that the only thing that changed for me is how much happier I feel knowing that living my truth is more than okay.”

Kara smiled proudly at Alex who returned it gratefully. 

“I am thankful that Kara found me that first day and made me instantly part of a group of the best friends I ever had. And I am thankful for Alex, who makes me more ridiculously happy than I ever thought was possible.” Sam said as she wiped at her tear filled eyes and smiled brightly. “I also love you all.”

Clark went last. “I am thankful for my family. Winn, Mom, and Kara. And for the family I keep acquiring along the way. Even though Sam just said it, I love you all.”

Dinner went beautifully after that. They stopped being sentimental and instead told their favorite funny stories or groaned at Jeremiah’s dorky dad jokes.

“I can’t believe you tipped them with pennies!” Eliza wheezed between bits of laughter.

Lena shrugged. “I was told it is very rude to stiff someone even for bad service, so instead I had my driver retrieve ten dollars worth of pennies and then dumped them out on the table. It made headlines when the waitress finally realized who I was. And Lillian was not impressed.”

“But you were fifteen and it was brilliant. Also, you’ve always been just a little bit extra.” Lucy replied fondly.

“But pennies!” Sam was laughing as well. “I wish I were rich just so I could tip people with pennies and get away with it.”

"Baby, you'd feel so guilty about it afterwards that you'd write the waitress a 'I'm Sorry' note  _and_ give her another tip." Alex cooed adoringly, which made everyone around the table beam happily at her.

Sam blushed. "You're right, I would do that."

Lena cleared her throat with a blush. 

"I did do that." She admitted shyly, which caused everyone to laugh again.

After dinner, the group played a few games together. Charades was a hit, even though putting Alex, Lena, and Lucy on the same team was a glutton for punishment. They dominated and then bragged about it for an hour. After Winn, his mom, and Clark left for the night, Jeremiah and Eliza dismissed themselves to bed as well. So Kara found herself outside with Alex, Sam, Lena, and Lucy.

“Today was my favorite day.” Lucy sighed happily.

“Nope, mine is still my birthday.” Lena admitted.

“That’s because you got a lap dance from yours truly.” Lucy teased and stuck out her tongue which caused Lena to blush adorably.

“I adore your family, Alex.” Sam stated as she leaned against Alex with contentment. “Even though I’m pretty sure I got the shovel talk from your dad before he went to bed.”

“What?!” Alex groaned.

“The whole ‘I really like you and you seem to make Alex very happy so please don’t hurt her because I don’t want to have to be mad at you’ speech.” Sam commented with her best Jeremiah impersonation.

Kara laughed. “That sounds about accurate. He could never actually hate anyone but he would be mad that they disappointed him,”

Alex nodded. “Yes, that does sound about right.”

“I’m really glad that your coming out went well, Alex. I’m happy for you.” Lena said a few minutes later.

“I hate that I was so nervous. But I am glad it’s over.” Alex smiled. “I’m pretty sure that you don’t ever have to come out Kara, because you were very obvious today.”

Kara’s eyes widened. “Obvious? About what?!”

The rest of the girls started to laugh and Alex cackled so loudly Kara feared she’d wake up everyone on the street.

“Don’t tease her for not seeing what’s right in front of her, Alex. She’s far-sighted.” Lucy teased which caused Alex and the others to laugh even louder.

“I resent that.” Kara pouted and then a soft breeze made her shiver. “I’m going to go get some blankets.”

She stood up and made Lena pout. “Please don’t be mad, Lucy was just teasing.”

“I’m not mad. I’m cold. I’ll grab some blankets and be right back.”

Kara left the group outside and headed inside for some hot chocolate and to retrieve some blankets. It was already quite late so she had assumed that Eliza and Jeremiah had gone to bed, so she was startled to see Eliza sitting in the kitchen in the dark.

"Can't sleep?"

"Not really. I'm worrying too much about my girls."

"What do you mean? Why?"

"A mom always worries. But...Alex...she is so strong and brave and independent and so fiercely protective over you. I just, someone has to protect her. You know? And that should be my job, I should have...she came out to us and she cried. She was so worried she had disappointed your father and me...but I've never been prouder of her."

Kara smiled and sat beside her adoptive mother. "Did you tell her that?"

"I did. I told her how much I love her and how amazing she is and how brave and...I'm just scared for her. Not because I don't think she can handle herself." Eliza smiled sadly, yet proudly. "I actually pity the person who tries to make her feel like less than she is...or heaven forbid, mess with you."

"She practically broke a kid’s nose our first week because they insulted Lena." Kara replied with a smirk.

"I'm not even a little bit surprised."

"Were you surprised that Alex is a lesbian?"

Eliza shook her head. "Not really. I mean, I didn't see it coming nor did I suspect it. But after she told me, I know I should have."

"I felt the same way. Like I should have known, and I beat myself up for having missed it."

"Oh, Kara sweetie."

"We're closer now than ever though. I don't think there's anything the two of us can't get through as long as we're together."

"I'm so grateful you girls always had each other. You both amaze me. I'm so proud of the women you have become."

Kara blushed at the compliment.

"The house has been lonely without you both. I miss you so much." Eliza gazed at her with tear-filled eyes. "I feel like I've missed so much. Tell me about your first semester of college. Tell me all about your new friends."

So Kara did. She gushed about every single one of them. She knew how blessed she was to have met them and how much better she was for it.

"Eliza...mom..." Kara paused to catch her breath, and gather her thoughts. "I'm worried that there's something wrong with me. I feel like a part of me might be broken or..." She sighed. "I just...do you know anything about asexuality?"

Eliza was a scientist. And a dedicated mother. When Alex came out to her, she went right to the computer to learn everything she could and to familiarize herself with the vernacular. And she told Kara as much when she asked. 

"So...I'm not damaged somehow.?" Kara asked just to make sure.

"Do you think you are or do you worry that other people will think that you are?"

Kara shrugged. "I like someone...two someones. And I just don't want to lose them if they want something from me that I don't feel comfortable to give them."

Understanding flashed in Eliza's eyes. "If one of them came to you and told you that they were anything other than what you thought they were, if there was a part of them that made them different somehow or that you didn't truly understand...would that change the way you felt about them at all? Or would it change how you saw them?'

"No! Of course not. I care about them so much, nothing would change that. And I would want them to trust me enough and care about me enough to be honest with me." Kara's eyes widened. "Oh, I see what you did there. You're tricky."

"I'm a mom. We learn a few things along the way." Eliza smiled at her and hugged her. "And if we're talking about the same people, you have nothing to worry about. They both adore you."

Kara smiled so brightly, her entire face glowed.

"And for the record. I adore all of your friends. Sam, Lucy, and Lena are all lovely ladies. So delightful."

"I wish their own parents felt the same way as you do. I mean, Sam's adopted and her parents live across the country. She's going to see them when we have more time off for Christmas break. And I'm still holding out hope that Lucy's dad will come around, but Lena's mom...I don't think there is anything Lena could ever do to win her approval."

Eliza listened thoughtfully and with sad eyes. "I never understood how some parents treat their children." She patted Kara's arm. "Tell all of them they are welcome here anytime. They are now and will always be part of the Danvers clan."

Kara grinned. "Thanks for everything, Mom." 

She kissed her cheek, then busied herself finishing up making hot chocolate and remembered to grab some blankets before she went back outside.

"Geez! Took you long enough, we could have died from hypothermia out here waiting for you." Alex yelled as she grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around herself and Sam. Kara handed everyone their hot chocolates and then settled in between Lucy and Lena and draped the blanket over their legs.

"Did everything go okay in there? I went it to see if you needed help but you and your mom were deep in conversation." Lena asked her with concern lacing her features.

Kara didn't reply at first as she quickly downed her hot chocolate before she sat it on the ground by her feet. She fidgeted with her fingers nervously until she felt Lena reach over and hold her hand, her thumb stroked Kara's wrist in comfort. Kara took a deep ragged breath and flinched a little when she felt Lucy's hand rest on her thigh. When it stayed in place she realized it was meant for comfort as well, and relaxed into the touch.

"I told Eliza that I'm pretty sure that I'm Ace." She spoke quickly and then slammed her eyes shut in anticipation of the landmine she felt she just stepped on.

Kara slowly opened one eye, then the other when nothing actually happened. She still felt the firm and steady pressure of Lucy's hand on her thigh, and the soothing circles Lena's thumb continued to trace over her tattoo.

"It's just that sex has never been high on my priority list at all, and I don't think I would enjoy it as much as everyone else seems to. When I think about dating...I want the intimacy in other ways. I love cuddling and I think I'd enjoy kissing. I want the romance and hand holding and everything that comes from being someone's girlfriend...except for the...intercourse. And I think it's always been that way. Even when I was in love with Winn, when I thought about being with him...nothing really changed all that much."

Kara looked around nervously. "I just...don't feel all that inclined to try it...now, and...I just can't help but feel somewhat broken or different. Is there something wrong with me?"

"Absolutely not." Lena reassured her. "You have the right to feel whatever you want to feel and to know that whoever you're with respects those boundaries. That's part of being in a healthy relationship, Kara. The  _ best  _ part, because you still get to be totally and completely you."

"But what if..." Kara fidgeted and sighed. "I never liked labels because nothing really felt right. I knew I wasn't really straight, but bisexual didn't sound right to me because it also implied sex...at least for me. And I just...now that I am starting to figure things out or maybe starting to want to...I...maybe I would identify myself as Pan as well. I just don't know exactly what this all means."

"You have all the time in the world to figure yourself out, Kara. And you don't owe an explanation to anyone else. If someone doesn't love every part of you, then they don't deserve you." Sam told her sincerely.

"I'm not sure that makes me feel better." Kara admitted.

"It should, you're amazing." Lucy stroked her cheek reverently and smiled at her. "And I can't think of anyone who would get to know you and not fall in love with you."

"Winn didn't." Kara sniffed.

"Winn's gay, and even then he's an idiot." Lucy muttered.

Kara's eyes fell on Alex. "Alex...please say something."

It came out a plea and she felt guilty and embarrassed about it. Alex stood from her seat and rushed to Kara. She knelt on the ground in front of her and grabbed Kara's tear-stained face. Alex rubbed off the tears that had flowed down Kara's cheeks with her thumbs.

"I’m scared to know how long you've felt so different and hated yourself for it. I've always wanted to protect you, but I can't make things easier for you and I wish I could. I just want you to be happy. I wanted your life to finally be easy." Alex sighed. "But none of this makes me think any less of you. I love you so much. And everyone's right, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you."

"Besides, sex isn't everything, Kara. Granted, I only ever had sex with two boys and both were exceptionally mediocre." Sam admitted.

Lucy laughed out loud and Alex coughed awkwardly. Lena blushed. And Kara stared at her with mortification.

"Sorry, that's probably not the kind of stuff you want to be hearing about." Sam admitted with embarrassment. Then she tilted her head in contemplation. "How can you be friends with Sara, all she does is have sex?"

"She doesn't talk about it. And I stopped picturing it ever since she had sex with Alex."

"You pictured sex with Sara?" Lena asked after a few moments, her face laced with confusion and intrigue. 

"Not..." Kara shrugged. "Sara's a very pretty girl and she sleeps with very pretty people. It was not...unenjoyable to imagine. Just as long as I was never part of the equation. I guess I was just curious."

"And it's okay to be curious. You're still trying to find out who you are and what it all means." Lucy explained.

"So you don't think I'm weird?" Kara asked nervously.

"No, I still think you're perfect." Lena replied with adoration in her eyes, then smirked at her wickedly. "Even if you do like pineapple on your pizza."

"Hey!"

"Pineapple on pizza is fantastic." Lucy defended as she puffed out her chest ready for an argument.

Kara smiled at them and cast a glance at her sister who had since taken a seat in the grass in front of her. Alex smiled back at her.

"Just in case it got lost in translation somewhere. You are amazing and we love you." Alex told her firmly. "Always."

"Always." Lucy, Lena and Sam confirmed in unison.

"Thanks. I love you guys, too."

Soon after Kara’s confession, Alex and Sam dismissed themselves for bed. Kara stayed with Lucy and Lena, cuddled underneath the blanket between them. She stared out at the stars. When the silence spread on too long, Lena spoke.

“It’s getting cold, and late. We should go in.” 

Lucy glanced at Kara nervously then smiled at Lena. “Why don’t you go on ahead, I kind of wanted to talk to Kara about something.”

Lena looked back and forth between them and smiled. She kissed them both softly on the foreheads and hugged them goodnight. Then she went inside.

“I know that I tend to be really forward and well...I just wanted to say that if I ever invade your space in any way that makes you uncomfortable, don’t be scared to tell me. And if I already have, I’m really sorry. I respect your boundaries, so please lay them out for me. I need to know how to be better, I want to be better for you.”

Kara smiled at her and let herself fall into Lucy. They sat there comfortably for a while longer.

“Kara? Do you want to talk about it?” Lucy asked quietly.

“I know that I’ve been all over the place for awhile now and I honestly have no clue what’s happening here, with us or what any of it means. I don’t know what my revelation means for...if things will change.”

“What is it you want, Kara?”

“I like how things have been...with us.”

“I told you that this hasn’t changed how I see you, but you do know...I mean, I like you Kara.  _ Really _ like you. It feels like I always have.”

“Oh.” Kara breathed out.

“I understand that you may not feel the same. Like you said, nothing has to change. We can all still hang out. Cuddle. You’re still one of my best friends. But if you think you may feel the same about me, or that you could someday, I’ll wait forever...I just need to know that there’s a possibility.”

“I could...I do.”

Lucy’s eyes filled with hope. “You...you like me?”

Kara nodded. “You have to have known. I mean, maybe not. If I’ve been confused about things, I can’t imagine how you’ve felt. Or Lena. But yeah, I like you, too.”

Lucy smiled brightly. “Can I..kiss you?”

Kara nodded shyly and smiled into the chaste kiss. Whey they pulled apart, Lucy’s eyes were closed and she sighed happily.

“You’re amazing, Kara Danvers. And we’ll take things as slow as you need to. You’re worth it.”

“Thanks, Lucy.” Kara leaned into her embrace. “I love you.”

She smiled when she felt Lucy’s grip on her tighten slightly. They stayed outside a while longer and curled into each other until it became too cold and they forced themselves to go to bed.

The next morning, Kara was not surprisingly up before everyone else. She made herself a cup of hot chocolate and took it outside to drink it as she watched the sun come up.

“Either you couldn’t sleep or you’re more of a morning person than you’ve let on.” Lena said as she took a seat next to Kara. 

Kara pulled the blanket so that it spread across Lena’s legs as well.

“I slept surprisingly well. I just...I guess I was excited to see what the day would bring.” Kara explained.

“How are you doing after yesterday? I know that coming out in any capacity can be daunting.” Lena wondered.

Kara shrugged. “I feel like it was a long time coming and I had the best audience.” She turned toward Lena. “Sorry I waited so long to say anything.”

“You never have to apologize for practicing self-care, Kara. You needed to be ready.” Lena’s hand found hers. “And just so you know, it hasn’t changed the way I feel about you at all.”

Kara smiled at her. “That means more to me than you could ever know. Thank you.”

They sat in relative silence for a while longer until Lena seemed to become anxious about something. 

“Kara?”

“Yeah?”

“I know that you’re just exploring who you are and what it all means, but...if you don’t already know...I adore you. Like, I’m falling for you. Or I have. I just…” Lena sighed and ripped her hand away from Kara’s awkwardly. “I know that you are going through a lot right now and that you have a lot to think about. Please know that I don’t actually expect anything from you. I will gladly take anything you are willing to give me, whether it is as friends or if you want to be something more. And do I want more? Absolutely. But more for me means more of what we've already been doing. And if you do think that you could be interested...or are interested...I guess the only thing that I want from you is maybe a definition of what we are. If that isn’t too much to ask.” Lena looked Kara in the eye and tucked a stray piece of hair behind Kara’s ear. “Kara, if you decide that you only want to be friends, I am okay with that as well. Because I need you in my life.”

Kara stared at Lena and was enamored once again by her beauty. Lena’s nervousness and willingness to let herself be vulnerable was intoxicating. 

“You mean everything to me, Lena. I like what we have even though I have no idea what it actually is. I love that you are my favorite person and that you have opened yourself up to me and everyone else over the course of the semester. You are truly remarkable. You are smart, and funny and kind and generous and so many other adjectives I can’t even remember right now. I want to explore what we are or what we can be as long as we continue to go slow and as long as things don’t change too drastically. I really like you, Lena. Not just as my best friend.” 

Kara noticed Lena’s shortness of breath and reached over to place a hand on her lap in comfort. She smiled when Lena’s breathing evened out and her eyes found Kara’s. The smile Lena gave her was the most beautifully genuine one she had ever received. 

“And that is all I needed to know, Kara. Thank you.”

Kara smiled at her fondly and leaned over to kiss her softly on her lips. When she pulled away, her eyes widened.

“I am so sorry! I should have asked first and…”

Lena chuckled. “You can kiss me anytime, Kara. I will never not enjoy it.”

Kara blushed. “I just…” She smiled and shook her head. “Just another reason why I love you.”

Lena stopped chuckling instantly and her mouth snapped shut. Kara furrowed her brows in confusion.

“What’s wrong?”

Lena closed her eyes briefly then opened them and shook her head with a smile. “Nothing is wrong at all. Everything is perfect.”

Her smile was contagious and Kara found herself mirroring it. “Yes, it is. Isn’t it?”

They chatted happily until the rest of the people in the house all woke up and they ate breakfast together. Kara found herself looking around the table at all the smiling faces and realized that she was truly at peace. 

Saturday morning, Alex and Kara were loading the car to prepare for the short trek back to campus.

“You look...lighter.” Alex commented as she shut the trunk of her car.

Kara furrowed her brows in contemplation. “How so?”

“Like...I don’t know, probably how I imagine I felt when I came out and we finally talked about it.”

“Oh, happy! You do look so happy now. Happier than I’ve ever seen you and it looks really good on you, Alex.”

Alex smirked. “Yeah. it looks good on you, too. How’s it going with your girls?”

“They’re not my girls.” Kara blushed.

“Have you told them that?”

“I told them that I loved them. Separately. Oh, Rao! I’m a player! Am I a player?” Kara started to pace and threw her hands wildly in the air.

“Kara, calm down. No one would ever think that you’re a player.”

“I also think they’re sleeping together.”

“Okay?”

“I mean, like  _ sex _ ... _ with _ each other.”

“Okay...?”

Kara paused awkwardly. She was unsure what to say next or why she even needed to bring it up in the first place. 

“Are you jealous or uncomfortable about it?” Alex asked.

“No. I guess I’m mostly curious. And also scared that it’ll change things between all of us and they won’t need or want me anymore.”

“Oh, honey. You do realize that they’re both in love with you, right? And the fact that they love each other as well means that you won’t have to choose between them. But you have to talk to them. Let them know how you feel. About  _ everything.  _ Don’t lead them on, and if you do want something with both of them, they need to know that, too.”

“I did tell them that.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Then tell them your concerns so that they can ease that overactive mind of yours. I’m positive that you have nothing to worry about with either of them. Just talk to them.”

SSSSSSSSSSS

 

When they all got back to campus after their Thanksgiving excursion, Kara and Lena were alone in their room. They had talked for a while about everything and nothing. After a while, Lena dug through her bottom desk drawer and pulled out a wrapped gift. Kara frowned at the sight of it.

“It’s not my birthday, Lena.”

The other girl swallowed audibly. “I know.” She slowly walked toward Kara. 

Kara accepted the box and tore into the paper eagerly.

“I don’t know why I let it go on so long. I mean, I do know why but…” Lena looked at Kara through pleading eyes.  “You’ve been gushing over your secret admirer and trying to figure it out and never even considered it could be me, so I don’t know why I even think I…” She sighed and closed her eyes. It looked like she was desperately trying to compose herself. “Please don’t hate me.”

“I could never hate you, Lena.” Kara told her sincerely. Then she grabbed her hand and squeezed it in an attempt at comfort.

When she released Lena’s hand, she opened the box and peered at the contents. Her heart skipped a beat when she noticed the origami swans. Her eyes shot up to Lena’s.

“It  _ was _ you.” She breathed out. Not in surprise, but in reverence.

She tore her eyes away from the emerald ones that pierced into her soul, and withdrew a small necklace from the box. It was a small golden compass with the arrow pointing north. It reminded her of those trinkets she used to get from old gumball machines. The ones that gave out lollipop rings, cheesy stickers and costume jewelry. It reminded her of her childhood. All the good parts before things went wrong. Before she lost her parents. Back when she still had her innocence.

Apart from the swans and the necklace there was an official looking certificate. She read it closely.

“You bought me a star?!”

“It’s only ceremonial, like how you can adopt a piece of a highway.”

“This is way cooler than a highway.” Kara replied seriously. “Lena, you bought me a star.”

“You are my truth North, Kara. You’re my home.”

Kara flew off her chair and wrapped Lena in her arms.

“I’ve been holding on to that gift for ages, but I couldn’t get up the nerve. I was scared that you had built up your admirer so much that no one could ever live up to the expectation you had of them.”

“I had hoped that it was either you or Lucy, part of me knew it was you the whole time.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“The same reason you didn’t. Because I was scared maybe I was wrong and it would have been disappointing if I were.”

“So...you’re glad it’s me?”

Lena looked visibly nervous and also, breathtakingly beautiful. Her precious, caring, compassionate, thoughtful, romantic, intelligent, and kind best friend was her secret admirer. If someone like Lena could love her, maybe she was the person that her friends constantly told her she was, rather than the imposter that she often felt like she was. She just hoped she could be worthy of Lena, because she knew that the girl deserved the world.

But before she could tell her as much, she wanted to clear the air. She had some questions that she desperately needed answers to.

“What about Lucy?”

Lena’s brows furrowed. She looked adorably confused which only made Kara more nervous.

“I mean...you’re sleeping together. Aren’t you?” 

Realization dawned on Lena’s face and she look stricken for a moment. “Kara, we didn’t mean to keep it from you, we just....”

“You were trying to respect my boundaries. I understand. I do. It’s just, I thought you guys were comfortable with how things were...between us. I can’t, I know that I can’t be what you might want or need and I understand that you guys need that. That you…” Kara sighed and fiddled with her glasses. “I don’t even know what I’m trying to say. I guess I just wanted to confirm what I suspected.”

Lena looked on the verge of tears. Her entire face was that of utter anguish.

“A-a-and….what did you suspect?” Her words were shaky and looked like it took effort to get them out.

“I don’t think I can do this. I can’t give you guys what you want.”

Lena’s bottom lip quivered and she swallowed thickly. “But you are. You have.”

Kara was confused now. She couldn’t stomach the crest-fallen look that crossed Lena’s face.

“But you and Lucy…”

“Love you. We love you. And nothing changed. Nothing has to change.” Lena demanded.

“But it already has.”

“Because we’re sleeping together or because you think that’s what we’re expecting from you?” Lena asked sincerely but her tone of voice betrayed her pain. “I never have asked that of you and I won’t. Neither has she.”

Lena was right. They never had even suggested it or otherwise indicated that they wanted anything other than what Kara felt comfortable giving them. There were no expectations or conditions to what they had together. And apart from Kara suspecting that they had started sleeping together, nothing had changed between the three of them.

“Lena?”

“Yes, Kara?”

“Do you think it's possible to love two people at the same time?”

Lena stared at her intensely as she considered the statement. “Love comes in all shapes and sizes, Kara. Just like people.” She rolled her eyes at herself. “That was cheesy, let me start again.”

“But you know I like cheesy.” Kara pouted.

“I don’t think loving two people at the same time has to diminish the way you feel about each of them. Especially if they both love you.” Lena explained calmly and precisely.

“And each other.” Kara added.

Lena nodded thoughtfully but didn’t answer the question any further. She seemed distraught, or maybe preoccupied. Kara didn’t know how to read her and she hated that she seemed to be guarded all of a sudden.

“Kara….”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t feel like we’ve pressured you, do you? Everything, all of this...you did want it, right?” Lena’s shaky voice sounded like a plea.

Kara nodded. She wasn’t sure what question she needed to address first but Lena looked on the precipice of a frenzied panic so she needed to at least give her some answers.

“I don’t know what I want or what it all means. Or what we are or were or can be. I like what we have. I know I have fallen in love with both of you. I don’t even know….” She sighed. “You haven’t pressured me, I think I put pressure on myself. I know that there’s this spectrum and that just because it’s never been a priority in my life, it doesn’t mean that someday sex won’t become something I want or enjoy. But I don’t know how long it will take me to figure it out or if I ever will want that.” Kara bit her lip. “And if I’m being honest…”

“Please be honest.” Lena pleaded.

Kara squeezed her eyes shut tightly which made her nose crinkle. She missed the adoring look Lena gave her at the sight. When Kara opened her eyes, she exhaled shakily. “I don’t think sex will ever really be something I want.”

Lena nodded swiftly. “And no matter where you may or may not fall on the Ace spectrum, Kara, all of the feelings you have are valid and I respect them. It doesn’t matter to me or Lucy if you don’t want to have sex. I love what we have. I love our cuddles at night and simple kisses. The handholding and the way your play with my hair. Those things are just as valid and important in our relationship than sex would ever be. Moreso, really. Because your friendship and your presence in my life mean everything to me. I would never do anything to jeopardize that.”

Kara bit her lip and blushed. Lena always did have a way to make her feel special, to feel validated. And that was even without the knowledge that she was also her secret admirer.

“I appreciate that. I appreciate you more than you know.” She looked Lena in the eye. “I just couldn’t stand to think that you were waiting for something that might never happen.” Kara blushed deeply again. “I mean, you already have been so extremely patient with me and my obliviousness. I couldn’t ask you to do it again.”

Lena rolled her eyes. “I don’t want or need sex from you, Kara. And as for my patience...I would have waited forever if I still was able to call you mine in the end.”

Kara gulped. No one had ever wanted her so much before and yet expected so little out of her. It was dizzying. And it was only after the conversation had ended that she realized that Lena had admitted that she and Lucy loved her. She knew they all loved each other, but the reverence in which she said it, she knew that it went beyond the simple bonds of friendship or even perhaps the sisterly love she and Alex had. Her love for Lucy and Lena was all-encompassing and she only just now realized it. 

“Um….” Kara stumbled for the right words. “I...I promise we’re okay. Okay?”

Lena frowned but nodded.

“But, I’m not ready to rehash this conversation with Lucy tonight so…”

“I’ll talk to her, I know she’s on the same page as I am.”

“And I appreciate that. So, I am going to go stay with Alex and Sam tonight.”

Lena’s eyes widened. “Okay…”

“I just need to work some things through in my own head. And...I just really want my sister right now.”

Lena trembled. “You promise we’re okay. All of us?”

Kara smiled sadly at her. She stepped toward her and grabbed Lena’s face in her hands. “I promise everything is great. Now that I know where I stand and what it all means to you.” She kissed her hard on the lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Lena nodded dumbly and didn’t respond as Kara turned and left the room.

SSSSSS

 

“You did what?!” Alex shouted as she paced the room. “I told you that those two idiots were hopelessly in love with you so that you would talk to them and make sure that you were on the same page. Meaning...that you understood emphatically that they were hopelessly in love with you. And now, it sounds like you just broke up with Lena.”

“I didn’t. God, is that what she thinks?” Kara shook her head.

“It sounded about as clear as mud, Kara.” Sam commented calmly. “You do realize that all three of our phones have been lighting up nonstop since you got here. Lucy’s freaking out because she thinks she made you uncomfortable and that you were just too polite to ever say anything. Lena keeps checking to make sure you’re  _ really  _ okay.”

Kara exhaled loudly and punched the mattress she was currently lying on top of. Alex stopped her pacing and faced her sister with understanding finally etched on her face.

“I’ve been wondering all this time, during your ‘investigations’ into your secret admirer, why you never considered either of them.” Alex used actual finger quotes mockingly on the word  _ investigations.  _ “I’ve seen you with them, we all have. And it may not be about sex with you, but you love them. And maybe that’s the problem, right? You were worried that they wouldn’t be okay with who you are. Or maybe it’s because you didn’t want to be that girl again, the one who fell in love with her best friend and got her heart broken.” 

Alex sat on the bed beside her sister. “Or maybe it's all of those things and none of them. You talked about feeling weird and not being able to cross that line to become part of everything. But I think a part of you was always scared to, because you had already lost so much. Too much. And falling in love...truly falling…” She glanced at Sam and smiled fondly. “You are giving your heart to another person. For you it’s two people. And it can be terrifying because you feel like you don’t have much more to give that hasn’t already been taken by everyone else. But they each lost someone, too, Kara. If anyone understands that kind of pain, it’s them. You kept yourself from truly belonging for so long that you didn’t realize that since you’ve been here, you’ve been the glue that holds us all together. You’re more a part of something than you have ever been, and now it’s time to open your eyes Kara. To see what’s always been right there in front of you. It’s time for you to be brave.”

“Alex is right. You need to get out of your own head and just let yourself be happy. Okay, so you don’t know exactly who or what you are yet, who cares! None of us really do. That’s what life is all about...we are all constantly changing and evolving and learning about ourselves. That’s half the fun. The other half is getting to do all of that with someone who loves you and who is just as excited to figure it all out as you are.” Sam smiled warmly at her. 

“But seriously, Kara, don’t mess this up. Those girls are perfect for you. And Lena deserves a damn medal for her patience and how much work she put in to being your secret admirer.” 

“What?! You knew!? For how long?” Kara’s eyes widened as she stared at her sister in disbelief.

“Kara, my poor oblivious sister.” Alex patronizingly petted her on the top of her head. “Her entire face lights up when you walk into the room. And when your name is even mentioned, she gets all heart eyes crazy. And the first cheesy gift you got....when you were all giddy and stupidly adorable, that was the first time I ever saw her smile so genuinely. And that smile remained for days until you talked about who you thought it could be, then that dopey smile disappeared.”

“Oh, really?” Kara felt supremely stupid.

“And don’t get me started on Lane. That girl was probably less subtle than Luthor was, which would seem impossible but…” Alex trailed off with a smirk.

“You do realize that you’ve pretty much been dating them for months, right? I mean, we all sort of already assumed you three were together. You are still together, right.” Sam’s face went from teasing to firm instantly. 

“I think that I’ve been an idiot and I need to give them both the epic romantic love story that they gave me.” Kara frowned. “I missed my own romantic love story because I was too in my own head. I can’t believe I ruined it.”

“You didn’t ruin anything.” Sam encouraged her. “What did you have in mind for this big epic love story times two?”

Kara grinned. “I have some ideas, but we need to go to the store first.”

After she bought everything she thought she could possibly need, she went to work on her grand gesture.  Sam eventually forced her to take a break so she could actually get some sleep.

“But I don’t know how Lena did it.” Kara whined as she crumpled up another embarrassing attempt at origami. “Hers were so perfect and precise and mine look like they were made by a toddler.”

“Maybe it’ll be easier after you had some sleep. Kara, please. I’m worried about you.” Sam told her softly.

Kara sighed. “How can I argue with that. Alex, I adore Sam I want you to keep her.”

Both Sam and Alex blushed. 

“I’m kind of jealous of Lucy and Lena though. You’re trying to be romantic and sweet and Alex borrowed Lena’s birthday wine and fed me burnt toast and macaroni and cheese.” Sam said mischievously.

Alex pouted and threw a permanent marker at her. “You said it was sweet. And I thought it was the thought that counted.”

“It is. And I was grateful. Mostly, because you are as oblivious as your sister and I was getting impatient waiting for you to finally realize I’d been flirting with you for months.”

“You could have asked me out, you know.”

“I did! And you brought Ava along.”

“She was upset that Sara went out with Nyssa that day. And you said I could take her because it was just a movie. Besides, I still assumed you were straight!”

“It was a romantic comedy and I held your hand.” Sam stated.

“Hello, have you met my sister?” Alex gestured to Kara. “ _ She  _ holds my hand.”

“Yeah, that is confusing by the way.” Sam replied. “I loved your dinner date, Alex. Really. Because it was so perfectly you and I love you. I was just thinking of how lucky Lena and Lucy are to have Kara. I promise.”

Alex’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. “You love me. You said you loved me.”

“I do, yes. And you don’t have to say it back, not until…”

“I am so in love with you. I wanted to say it first. I…” Alex rolled her eyes and grabbed one of the poster boards she had been helping Kara with. She held it up to Sam. 

 

_ I love you, Sam _

_ Will you be my girlfriend and let me  _

_ continue to love you, always _

 

Sam attacked Alex with a jump hug and kissed all over her face. “Yes. Yes. Yes.” She said in between kisses.

Alex smirked. “To be clear though, that was not a proposal.”

Sam slapped her happily. “Nope. Just so you know when we get that far...I’ll be the one proposing.”

The smile fell right off Alex’s face and she flushed adorably.

“And just so you both know, if you plan on having sex tonight let me know so I can leave.” Kara told them uncomfortably. 

She was genuinely happy for them. But if they decided to get any more handsy, she would have to call it a night. Sam respectably withdrew from Alex and smiled guiltily at Kara.

“Sorry.” 

“It’s okay. You guys are great and I’m so happy for you. I can leave, if you need me to.”

Alex rolled her eyes and tugged on her sister’s hand. “I think we can behave for one night. Besides, I have a feeling that after tomorrow...I may see less of you than usual and I need my special Kara time.”

“Wanky.” Sam chuckled and walked to her own bed.

“No more hanging out with Lucy. I swear to god, Sam.” Alex groaned.

The next morning, bright and early, Kara got up and grabbed some hot chocolate for herself and some breakfast for Alex and Sam. She was already well on her way through another half dozen horrible origami attempts when they finally woke up.

“I got you food and coffee, but it might be cold by now.” Kara said without looking up from her place at the desk.

“You are an angel, Kara Danvers.” Sam stretched happily then took a sip of one of the coffees and smiled. “Still mostly warm.”

“I love you, sis.” Alex groaned as she bit into her breakfast burrito.

“Love you, too.”

“So, what do you need my help with?” Sam wondered.

“Alex finished all the signs last night. I’ve been downloading the music on my phone. I think I’m all set for now. Except, I can’t figure out how to get my dog to look like a dog. And I don’t understand, because it’s only actually like three folds. How am I so bad at this?”

“Lena will love it regardless.” Sam looked down at the latest attempt and bit her lip to hid her smile. “How about you just...color it. Make it look more like a dog that way?”

“What I’m hearing is that it sucks.” Kara groaned and threw it on the floor with the rest of her failed attempts. “Also, when it gets closer to the time I’m going to head over there, could you go over and make sure you take Lena and Lucy out of the room or something. Until I get ready?”

“Actually...Lucy isn’t there. She’s currently at Iris’ eating her weight in ice cream.” Alex told her as she held up her phone.

Kara’s face dropped. “Did she not stay with Lena last night?! Did I break them up?!”

“Kara, calm down. You’re going to fix this remember.” Sam told her.

“Why don’t you try one more origami dog? I’ll get Lena out of the room while Alex sets everything up. Then you head over there and change really quick. First, you woo Lena, okay?”

Kara nodded. “Yes, I can do this. Lena deserves the world.”

“No, Kara. She deserves you. And that’s better.” Alex told her seriously. “Now make that dog your bitch.”

Kara and Sam laughed out loud. 

“Get it. Because it’s a female dog. Or it should be.” Alex raised an eyebrow. “Lena’s not the only witty one who loves puns.”

“That wasn’t witty, Alex. That was a Dad joke.” Kara teased which made Alex stick her tongue out at her.

Sam corralled Alex out of the room so they could run Kara’s errands. Kara focused on making the best origami dog’s head that she could. Then she headed over to her room and changed into the new clothes she purchased last night. She texted Sam ten minutes ago, and was nervous as she waited for Lena to come back to their room. Alex had tossed rose petals all over the floor and lit a few candles for her. Lighting any candles in the dorm rooms was against the rules and usually Kara was a stickler for the rules, but she loved Lena more than she loved being right.

Kara knew she looked dapper and that Lena would approve. Her black saddle shoes were paired with black dress slacks, a white buttoned up blouse, black bow tie and black suspenders. She decided to pull her hair back in a ponytail and as per usual, wore her glasses. Last night, she had recorded herself singing Lena’s favorite song,  _ Landslide _ . It was a song all about change, but Kara knew that this kind of change was the good kind. She desperately hoped it was the good kind. Kara was making her own grand gesture and putting herself out there; it would be up to Lena after that.

The key twisted in the door and she took a shaky breath. When Lena walked through the door, her eyes darted all around the room before they finally settled on Kara.

“Kara…” She breathed out. “What is all this?”

Kara walked toward her and extended her hand. Lena took it gingerly but remained silent. After Kara led Lena to the bed, she turned around and pressed play on her phone. Lena’s breath hitched when she heard the first notes of Kara’s voice over the speakers. 

“First, I think I should tell you that I didn’t realize how hard origami was until I stayed up all night and still worked on it half the morning...so please, know that although the presentation may leave much to be desired...I really did try. I tried really hard.”

Kara told her with embarrassment as she handed her the the puppy dog she finished this morning. She had taken Sam’s advice and colored it to resemble her own dog she had as a child. It was brown with black spots. And green eyes. She tried to match the color to Lena’s eyes, but even if the color had been correct it would not have done the girl’s eyes justice. Because Lena’s eyes were that perfect kind of green that reminded her of spring, but not truly green at all because they were speckled with blue and she swore there were shades of yellow around the pupil. They were uniquely Lena.

The origami itself was a few simple folds, nothing too intricate. A floppy eared dog with its pink tongue sticking out. But it was what she had scrawled delicately on that back that was the most important anyway.

_ I “ruff” you Lena Luthor. _

_ Will you be my girlfriend? _

 

Kara saw the exact moment that the words registered on Lena’s face. She started to cry and Kara rushed to hold her in a tight embrace.

“I’m sorry it took so long to see what was always right in front of me.” Kara whispered into the shell of her ear and held her more firmly when she felt Lena shiver.

She kept holding her until the song ended and the room was overcome with silence. The lights were off, so the only light in the room came from the open window and a few candles. Eventually, Lena eased away from Kara.

“I...you…” Lena was at a loss of words.

“I love you. You still haven’t answered my question though.”

Lena laughed genuinely as she met Kara’s eyes with her own. Her eyes pierced through Kara’s soul, she felt the intensity within them.

“Of course I will. You didn’t have to do all of this.” She glanced around the room. “Why did you do all this?”

“Because I wanted you to have an epic love story since you already gave me mine.”

Lena touched Kara’s face and looked at her reverently. It was the way that Kara realized she always looked at her. She kissed her and when she felt Lena smile into the kiss, she knew that this wasn’t just their happily ever after--it was a new beginning. This was it. This was her everything. Lena was her everything. Well, almost. Someone was missing. 

“So...what do you say we go get Lucy?” Kara asked with a smile.

Lena’s eyes lit up. “Really? You…”

“I’ve been in love with you both for as long as I can remember. It just took me a while to realize what it all meant. I understand it now.” Kara explained. “So, if you don’t mind changing into your best dress...we have a date to take our girl on.”

When Kara and Lena showed up at Iris’s door with their hands full of Kara’s next grand gesture, they did not expect the door to be opened by someone they’d never met.

“Um...this is Iris’ room right? Iris and Ava?” Kara asked nervously.

“You’re them. God, no wonder she’s been wallowing, you guys are gorgeous.” The long haired brunette gushed. 

“Caitlin, who is it?” Iris called from inside the room.

“It’s Lucy’s very hot girlfriends.” Cailin turned her head and announced. “And I think you still undersold them.” Caitlin turned back to them. “I’ve even seen pictures and they still don’t do you girls justice. And I’m straight.”

“You’re not sounding too straight, Caitlin.” Iris teased as she opened the door a little more. 

Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open when she took in the sight of the two of them. Aside from Kara’s attire, Lena dressed to match. She wore a black dress that fell to her knees. It had a drooping v-neck that put her very ample cleavage on full display. When she first revealed herself to Kara in that dress, Kara blushed and was not able to find words for five whole minutes. She was also not able to look in Lena’s direction at all for another ten. 

Lena also wore a lone pearl necklace and had her hair pulled back in a very tight high ponytail. She looked absolutely gorgeous and she knew it.

“I was going to chastise you for breaking Lucy’s heart, but I think that you  _ are _ here to remedy that...right?” Iris asked in a hushed whisper. “Because if that isn’t the case, then please don’t make it harder for her than it already is.”

“If she’ll give me the chance...I plan to make it right.” Kara told her honestly.

“Lucy, could you come here for a minute?” Iris called behind her and shoved the door open fully.

Lucy, who had been walking toward the door, stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the sight that beheld her. Kara could see her swallow from her place in the hallway and Lucy’s entire face and neck flushed dark pink. Lucy’s eyes traveled over each of the girls in front of her before she locked eyes with Kara. She bit her lip anxiously, then looked down with embarrassment at her own wardrobe.

She wore oversized pajamas that if Kara had to guess, might have been Barry’s. There was a coffee stain on the Superman shirt and the plaid pants were cuffed several times at the ankles. Kara thought she looked entirely too adorable for words. But then she remembered why she probably wore those clothes and why she was at Iris’s to begin with. 

“I’m sorry I avoided your calls yesterday and that I was...I’m sorry that I hurt you, Lucy.” Kara fidgeted with her glasses and when that didn’t ease her nerves, she fingered her tattoo anxiously. “As you can see, we’re here to take you on an official date right after...there’s a few things that we have to say. So even though both of us think  _ Love, Actually _ is overrated and incredibly cheesy, it is your favorite movie. And since we know you love it...and we love you….” 

Kara nodded toward Lena who reached down and picked up the signs they brought with them. Alex had helped Kara write on several large white pieces of posterboard in painstakingly fancy calligraphy with black permanent marker. She made sure to choose the words carefully so that they were perfect. After Lena had the cards in her hands white side facing Lucy, Kara pressed play on her phone.

Lena leaned in and whispered. “The music represents carolers.”

Lucy laughed with a wide smile and watery eyes.

Lena adjusted the signs so that the words now faced Lucy. As Kara read them one by one, Lena dropped each sign and smiled to herself.

“I’m sorry for being such a blind idiot. I may not be a fast learner, but I do learn. And what I have learned is that you are passionate, kind, funny, loyal, thoughtful, sincere, smart, patient, and so, so beautiful. You are one of my best friends and favorite people in this entire universe. And at first I was scared that admitting how much I loved you would change things. And I thought that loving you and Lena both so much meant that eventually I would have to choose.”

She glanced at Lena, because these words were just as important for the other girl to hear. And she needed to know that Lena understood that. When she saw the adoration on Lena’s face, she knew that she understood more than Kara could have ever tried to use words to explain.

“Not everyone will find one single person who completes them. Some people never find their soulmate. And some people don’t even need or want one. But there are some of us, who are lucky enough to find it in multiple people. Because I believe that we are all like puzzle pieces and we fit together in different ways.”

Last night when she worked on these signs, she had Sam and Alex help her draw puzzle pieces on a few of them. She hoped it wasn’t as cheesy as she feared it was now.

“But you need all the different parts to make a picture. And no single piece is insignificant nor is one part more important than another.”

She saw Lucy’s smile widen and she knew that she made the right choice when she drew a large picture of a heart and separated it into three different colored puzzle pieces. 

“So what I’m trying to say….” Kara glanced at Lena and reached for her hand. “What  _ we’re _ saying is that we need you to complete  _ our  _ picture, Lucy. Because we’re better with you.”

“Gayer and stronger together.” Lena grinned as she let go of the previous poster board and revealed the last one. 

“Yes!” Lucy yelled as soon as she read it.

Caitlin spoke up from beside her. “I think you ruined the moment. You were supposed to let them read it to you together.”

“I don’t think she cares.” Iris smiled. “But I would still like to hear it. Please?”

Kara and Lena looked at each other. Lena stepped closer to Kara. They still held hands, albeit awkwardly. Kara held on to one side of the sign with her free hand and they both turned toward Lucy

“Will you be our girlfriend?” They asked in unison.

“YES!!!!” Lucy yelled again before she propelled herself into them. 

She placed kisses all over Kara’s face as Kara wrapped her in her arms. Lena laughed at them and put her arm around Kara’s back as she waited her turn for Lucy to shower her with kisses. 

When Lucy finally finished with both of them, she pulled away as pure joy danced in her blue eyes. 

“Oh, Kara! I want the Tweety I gave you back so I can actually finish it now. I rushed to get it to you because you were all gaga over Lena and I needed you to fall for me as well. And now that you have…” She shot her a evil grin. “It’s been bothering me for weeks and I really just want to fix it. Please?”

Even with the puppy dog eyes, Kara had to resist. She pouted at her in return. “But it’s already perfect and I love it.”

Lucy looked like she wanted to argue but glanced at Lena and knew her other girlfriend was not going to side with her on this. “I hate that you’re too sweet sometimes.”

Kara kissed her frown away and smiled at her. “You know you love me.” She stepped away. “Ready to go? We have reservations in half an hour.” 

“What? I…” She looked down and gestured at herself.

“You can borrow a dress, Lucy.” Iris told her. “Go make yourself presentable for your girlfriends.”

Lucy grinned widely. “I can’t even...aren’t my girlfriends hot?” 

“Go get ready, you have the rest of the night to ogle them.” Caitlin told her as she grabbed her and pulled her into the room. “Give us fifteen minutes and you will be happy with the results.”

“Not that Lucy needs much time to prep, the girl is even gorgeous in Barry’s old pj’s. I kind of hate her sometimes.” Iris told them with a smile. Then she walked into the hallway and shut the door behind her. “That was adorable and perfect. But are you really sure this is what you want, Kara? I know you’ve been struggling with everything lately, not that Lucy told me any details but I do have eyes and I know that you haven’t been as open about everything as you know Lucy is. And that girl is crazy about you. About both of you.”

“I’m sure.” Kara said firmly and without hesitation. “Alex pointed out that the three of us had practically been dating for weeks already, so I may as well make it official.”

“And Lena...I know you were beside yourself last night and you tend to shut people out rather than let yourself be vulnerable…” Iris turned her attention on Lena and the youngest Luthor actually cowerered.

“I know and I am sorry. I just…” She glanced at Kara. “We’ll both be better. Lucy has that way about her that draws us out of our comfort zone. I know I’ve benefited from it.”

Iris nodded and seemed to be appeased by their answers.

“For what it’s worth. Thank you for taking care of her, it means a lot to us that she wasn’t alone. And that you’re looking out for her now.” Lena told her.

Kara nodded in agreement. “We will work to be good enough for her, promise.”

Iris shook her head sadly. “You are good enough for her, Kara. That’s never been the problem.”

“I know. I am oblivious and bad at reading people. I must also be awful at throwing out mixed signals. But I’m working on it. I think it’s important to actually communicate better instead of being up in my head all the time.”

“But what a cute head it is.” Lena cooed.

Iris’s eyes widened and she blushed. “Okay, I think I said my piece. You’ve both been warned, I’m going to go check on her and see if she’s about ready.”

When she opened the door, Lucy stood behind it. She made Kara breathless. Lucy wore a long, royal blue silk dress that brought out the color of her eyes. It fit her to near perfection, and her tanned and toned arms were on full display. Her short hair was slightly curled and her eyes were painted with just the right amount of eye shadow to give her the smoky look. Her lips were nearly as red as Lena’s. 

“You look...wow. Yeah, you look wow.” Kara stumbled on her words.

“As articulate as always, I see.” Lucy smirked with a raised eyebrow. 

“You’re breathtaking.” Lena told her kindly. “Can I buy that dress from you Iris?”

Lena opened her clutch to fetch some money, but Iris shoved her away. “It’s on me, let it be my contribution to true love.”

“Why do you even have a dress like that here?” Kara asked when she finally recovered her senses. 

Iris brushed her hair behind her ear nervously. “I bought it...Barry and I have a date Friday night.”

“Iris whatever-your-middle-name-is West!” Kara shouted. “You will let us pay for the dress so you can buy a new one.”

“And by us, we mean our really rich, girlfriend will do it.” Lucy said with a broad smile.

Lena removed her platinum card from her wallet and handed it to Iris. “Find another dress, whatever you want. Don’t even look at the price. And Caitlin, make sure you get something, too.”

“I can’t…” 

“Yes, you can, Iris. I insist. As a thank you.” She gave her a pleading look that made Iris nod her acceptance.

“Fine. But only because Barry deserves a love story, too.” Iris smiled widely.

“Do any of you have any straight friends? Because I could really use a love story of my own.” Caitlin wondered.

“I do have a friend, Cisco, he’s pretty cool. He’s in one of my labs.” Lena told her. “I’ll invite him to our next game night. You’ve officially become part of our group anyway, Caitlin. So now you’re stuck with us.”

“We are not a cult.” Kara replied with a smile.

Lucy shook her head as she smirked. “Nope. Not a cult. Just don’t drink the kool-aid from the cafeteria.” She stepped closer to Caitlin and stage whispered. “I heard it turns people gay.”

“Shut up and go on your date.” Iris shoved them down the hallway.

“Wait!” Kara stopped and handed Iris her phone. “You have to take a picture. I promised Alex and Sam.”

Kara’s girlfriends flanked her and both put their arms around her, then tilted their heads towards her. She proudly wrapped an arm around each of them and smiled at the camera. It was the greatest feeling in the world; to be held by her favorite people. To know that they loved her as much as she loved them, perhaps moreso, made Kara feel like she was the luckiest girl on the planet. 

“That turned out great. One more?” Iris asked.

As she got ready to click the picture, both Lena and Lucy turned further into Kara and each of them kissed a cheek as the flash went off. Kara knew her face said it all. She had never been so happy in her life and she now had a picture to document the moment. 

The only consistent thing in life was that things changed. But Kara knew without a doubt as she continued to find herself in this crazy, mixed up world...she would never be alone again. She knew that she had an army of support on her side. And she had the two most amazing girlfriends anyone could ever ask for. Because yes, things were always changing. But sometimes, change was good. And this time, change was absolutely amazing. Sometimes life doesn’t give you want you want, it gives you exactly what you need. She finally got her love story and it had been more than she could have ever hoped for.

 

Just the beginning...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s done! I am grateful to everyone who read this story, I hope you enjoyed reading it even half as much as I enjoyed writing it. I don’t know about you, but I really miss Lucy Lane so writing this was very therapeutic. And I happen to find a nervous Lucy very adorable.  
>  I wanted to say thanks to @gnelliswriter for her wonderful description about poly ships using puzzle pieces and letting me borrow the concept. And special thanks to @highspeedmerge for always telling jokes and entertaining all of us, even though I also borrowed some of my brother’s for this story. Also, a shoutout to my @tgifemslash fam who will get the references about pennies, being extra, and not being a cult. I love you guys!  
> As I mentioned from the beginning, this is a story inspired by Love, Simon and my need for Leah to have a happy ending. I just finished reading Leah on the Offbeat (the sequel of Simon vs. the Homo Sapien Agenda) and it was delightful. Leah got her happy ending and is also a badass geek who reads fanfiction, so in my imagination I believe she would have read this story! :)  
> Find me on Twitter @2BeEnough if you want to yell with me about Supergirl, SuperCorp, AgentReign, ReignCorp, Lucy Lane or anything femslash.  
> I just wanted to say that I believe we all deserve a happy ending and love as wonderful as the characters in this story found. May you find yours! Until next time... 
> 
>  
> 
> Sam’s mixtape for Lena (because Sam is sentimental and thoughtful and perfect)  
> Fuckin’ Perfect- P!nk  
> Beautiful- Christina Aguilera  
> True Colors- Cindy Lauper  
> You Can’t Kill Us- Icon for Hire  
> Beautiful Disaster- Jon McLaughlin  
> Landslide- Stevie Nicks  
> Keep Holding On- Avril Lavigne  
> Shake it Off- Taylor Swift  
> Get it Right- Glee Soundtrack  
> I Shall Believe- Sheryl Crow  
> Born This Way- Lady Gaga  
> You’ve Got a Friend in Me- Randy Newman  
> Wonderwall- Ryan Adams  
> The House That Built Me- Miranda Lambert  
> Find Out Who Your Friends Are- Tracy Lawrence  
> For The Love of a Father- Demi Lovato  
> Broken Angel- Boyce Avenue  
> Anyway- Martina McBride  
> For Good- Wicked Soundtrack  
> How to Save a Life- Grey’s Anatomy Musical version  
> It’s Not Easy To Be Me- Five for Fighting  
> Man in the Mirror- Michael Jackson
> 
>  
> 
> Lena’s Books from Kara and Lucy:  
> Goodnight Moon  
> Where the Wild Things Are  
> The Velveteen Rabbit  
> Where the Sidewalk Ends  
> The Book With No Pictures  
> Winnie-the-Pooh  
> Peter Pan  
> Alice in Wonderland  
> The One and Only Ivan  
> Wonder  
> Bridge to Terabithia  
> Nothing But The Truth  
> Frankenstein  
> Emily Dickinson Poetry Collection  
> Orphan Train  
> Bell Jar  
> Every Day  
> Mother Night  
> Perks of Being a Wallflower  
> Mists of Avalon

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this mostly for myself because as much as I loved the movie Love, Simon--I was broken hearted that Leah never got her love story (which I just found out there's a sequel and plan to read it). My thoughts on her naturally turned into SuperCorp thoughts as all things do. So I wrote this mostly for myself. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it.  
> Next chapter Kara starts getting gifts from a secret admirer!!!!  
> It's already completely written, it just happened to be longer than anticipated so I'm breaking it up into 5 or 6 chapters. So it shouldn't be long between updates!


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